Age of Astaroth
by LillyOfFire
Summary: Post-anime!AU. On return to the Academy one year later, Ryuji finds out that Rin has dropped out and moved to the neutral 'Middle Strip' between Gehenna and Assiah after Grigori's latest 'test'. While faced with secrecy and a new project, he must also learn some things only Rin can teach him (if the half-demon is not broken beyond repair). Dark themes, substance abuse, lemons.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! Not gonna say too much about this, except that for the most part this plot has been haunting me on and off ever since I've finished watching the anime. It's one of those messed up stories I always blame on my inner demons, because it's really not for the faint of heart. It will be dark and disturbing and non-canon in more ways than one, but it's gotta come out and yes, the rating WILL go up at some point, probably soon. You've been warned….

 **Disclaimer** : The lyrics included in the text do not belong to me

 _Warning_ : mentions of underage smoking and substance abuse

* * *

Leaning back in his armchair, there was a satisfied smirk on Mephisto's lips as he proceeded to sip on his tea, eyes on the large flat screen embedded in the wall. Violent flashes of light were bursting from it every now and then, throwing flickers around the small room, and the demon carefully kept his eyes onto the moving images, trying to make himself inconspicuous by seemingly not paying attention to what was going on.

 _Let me enlighten you_

 _This is the way I pray_

Well, some prayer… Although – whatever, these were just silly lyrics - Mephisto wouldn't have exactly called it a 'prayer', mind you, the absolute, relieving beauty of giving in to one's true nature. On the screen, there was a close-up of Rin dropping down on his knees, eyelids fluttering close as blue flames engulfed his fragile frame and crawled across the ground, terrible and ravishingly gorgeous, enveloping everything with a will to devour.

 _Living just isn't hard enough_

 _Burn me alive inside_

And people broke into screams. Music to his ears, really. Mephisto loved the raw, unrestrained way in which humans reacted to these things, way past the lucrative purpose of it all.

"Should you be getting another one? Looks like this one will really hurt, and you don't heal as quickly as you used to, you know," he said, straining a bit to make his voice heard over the loud music blaring from the TV. Green eyes shifted questioningly towards the pale boy stretched onto the sinister-looking metal table, staring numbly at his own reflection in the large mirror which made up the ceiling.

"Young master? Are you sure?" asked the horned creature hovering above the boy, long clawed fingers drumming lightly on the edge of the table.

"I'm sure."

Rin looked numb and apathetic beyond measure, but his tail was swishing nervously as the horned demon lifted his t-shirt and Mephisto turned his head away, genuinely reluctant and unwilling to see those gruesome instruments on display on the silver tray nearby actually put to use.

"I don't know why I'm allowing this," he grumbled. "Why I'm allowing you to torment yourself this way and mentally scar _me_ in the same time! AND you're making me pay for it, too…"

"Well excuse you, I thought that with what's going on, money isn't an issue anymore," the half-demon boy replied, and winced when a cold, antiseptic-soaked pad was run over his navel area.

"It's not, but-…." Mephisto petulantly kept his eyes on the screen, ignoring his little brother's gasp when the needle went in. "All shit and fun _and money_ aside, I know you're not well. You're not getting any better, just numbing it." He sighed. "Shura said she'd find a way to dig you up, but I know that if she were you she'd just walk right up and torch the Grigori down to a handful of ashes… Really, she's not fooling anyone with the cool, poised act. Shiro knew she'd love you and she does."

Eyes half closed, Rin took a long, strained drag from his cigarette and exhaled a soft cloud of scented smoke, then let his hand drop and hang limply over the side of the table. "I know that, but- AAAAAAHH! FUCK!" The cigarette butt slipped from between his trembling fingers, landing onto the horned demon's pant leg.

"BEELZEBUB'S COCK!" the creature roared. "NO SMOKING IN HERE, DAMN IT!" He took a deep breath, steam blowing through the wide nostrils as he forced himself to cool off. "Forgive me, young master, but there's a sign outside…"

"Ooops! I didn't see it."

The half-demon boy looked up at his own reflection – eyes large on the sheet-white face, shining with tears threatening to spill, lips pressed tightly with a pained expression, chest heaving under the black fabric and the glittering drops of white metal in the midst of the bloody mess that was on his stomach. He let out a soft, snort-like sob.

"Do you think he'd like this? You think he'd enjoy seeing me in this state?"

Mephisto grit his teeth, gloved hands fisting at his sides. "That's it," he concluded, standing up. "When you're done with this shit, go home, eat something and get some rest. Fun and all, but it's still a job and I'm expecting you to deliver."

* * *

The True Cross Academy had been restored to absolute perfection, the buildings standing tall and proud as if they'd never been blown to pieces and scorched by hellish fires. Everything, the exact, faithful copy of what it used to be, even their old, rather cramped and dark classroom at the Cram school.

Of course, everyone was happy to be back and to return to the familiar, tranquil routine of life, but Ryuji couldn't help thinking that it was disturbing, down to the last detail, this forced, artificial and overly successful initiative to bring back _normalcy_ as it been before Satan's attack, he couldn't help thinking it was all some half-assed attempt to cover things up, to pretend that nothing had happened, that nothing was wrong.

But things _were_ wrong, people had died that night or gotten injured, many things had been turned upside down in the course of events and even now, more than a year afterwards, strain and worry was still visible on the teachers' faces and there was unspoken tension in the air from all the extra security measures.

And on top of everything there was this whole thing with Okumura. He was gone.

'Gone' in that haunting, hollow sense of the word, Ryuji thought, eyes trained on the empty seat next to Moriyama, in the front desk. The half-demon, the son of Satan, the _idiot_ who had stirred so many contradictory and dramatic feelings inside of everyone present was gone, just like that. Dropped out, they said. Which in itself was one absolutely baffling contradiction, because the Grigori had made it very clear that if Okumura didn't pass the exorcist exam he _would_ be executed. So how could he drop out of Cram school?! _Why_ would he drop out?! No one gave any explanation for it and Okumura-sensei looked positively reluctant when it came to the subject, dismissing it in a few cold words.

And here came another baffling piece of information – the _Middle Strip_. The older twin had dropped out of Cram school _and_ had moved away from his brother, from everyone he knew really, down to this place supposedly in-between Assiah and Gehenna, like an antechamber of Hell of sorts. It was the first time they were hearing of it and further exploration of the subject was apparently discouraged by the teachers.

Contrary to some hypotheses mentioned by a teacher or two, Bon didn't think that their classmate had left because of a sudden and definitive urge to give in to his demonic nature and be with his 'next of kin', so to speak. Not after everything they'd been through together, he didn't think Rin would just give up his goal in a fit. No, a much darker suspicion plagued his mind these days, one he wouldn't dare whisper even to his own ears. But whatever it was, Ryuji wanted to know, he needed some kind of _closure_.

Because he really missed that idiot.

 ** _To be continued_**


	2. Going alone

**Going alone**

A/N – Hello everyone! Again, happy and surprised by the attention this messed up thing is getting, so let's drink to that! Or not, if you're underage or something. Anyway, the prologue came out a bit short, but I'll make it up to you guys in the regular chaps, which will be a bit longer than that :)) Anyway, enjoy today's update and if you feel like it, scream! I don't mind flames either, as long as they're blue :P

By the way, someone said that this fic is already M-rated in content because Yukio is not in it. While I might guess the logic behind that (or be entirely mistaken about it), the comment was duly noted and there, to keep it 'lighter' for now, there's Saint Yukio for you ;)

 _Warnings_ : none in this chap

* * *

"Please, one moment," Okumura-sensei said, just as everyone was gathering their books and Ryuji was making a mental note as to what his study plan for the evening would be. The classes had not even begun two weeks before and they were already loaded with homework. "I have an announcement to make."

The exwires dropped back into their seats, expectant, already a vibe of unease spreading around. Ryuji scrutinized the young teacher's face in anticipation, but his expression was unreadable.

"After some recent debate, there's been an important change in your curriculum which will become effective three weeks from now. The Vatican council has decided that now more than ever we will need the most qualified staff we can get and in this purpose they've introduced another eliminatory evaluation, _before_ the exorcist exam. That means, those of you who don't pass this evaluation cannot proceed forward to take the final exam."

The Aria-in-training found himself flinching in surprise, along with the more-or-less indignant gasps of his classmates. Another examination, out of the blue?! It was strange, to say the least, and he couldn't help wondering if it had anything to do with Okumura's disappearance. Because whatever he did, Bon's thoughts were constantly drifting back to that unsolved mystery.

"Until now most of your practical applications have emphasized the need for showing team spirit and cooperation," the teacher went on, "And indeed, teamwork is crucial to exorcists while out in the field. But the development of your individual capacities is equally important if you are to actively contribute to the team effort, therefore the upcoming evaluation will focus on that. More specifically, each of you will receive a project to work on by themselves, under the supervision of an assigned teacher. I'll now hand over the instruction papers, please read them carefully and don't forget to meet with your supervising teacher at the appointed hour. Also, please bear in mind that your individual projects are strictly confidential, you are not to discuss any details with anyone aside from your mentor without their express permission. Class dismissed."

The overall brevity of the message was less than reassuring, Ryuji thought as he passed by the teacher's desk upon his turn and was presented with a closed manila folder with his name on it. Once out in the hallway, he proceeded to stare at it long and hard, until the moisture of his sweaty palms began to stain the covers.

"So, what do you think, Bon? Just where the hell did that come from?" Shima asked, visibly nervous. "I mean, isn't the exorcist exam itself supposed to be difficult enough?!"

Izumo snorted. "They must have thought that before we can decide and apply for a certain meister qualification, this would be an actual chance for us to discover what we're really good at. That and considering that if we keep doing everything as a team there might be some _slackers_ among us, while others are doing all the work!"

Right. It had been a while since Kamiki had last gotten on his nerves. The Aria-in-training gritted his teeth, free hand fisting helplessly at his side, aching to throw a punch, his anger fueled by the thought that that damned idiot wasn't there anymore to break him and Izumo apart.

 _Damn it, why?! Why has he left?!_

"B-Bon? Are you okay?" Konekomaru asked, the smaller teen's shy voice making him snap out of it at last.

"Fine! And guess what, Izumo, now's your fucking big chance to prove you're so much better than the rest of us!" Ryuji spat.

"Hey! What the hell is your problem?! I was just pointing out the obvious!"

His gaze trailed curiously to the other girl in their class, noticing an expression of discomfort on her small, doll-like face. She was clutching her books and folder, distressed by the unfolding argument yet unwilling to voice any opinion of her own. Not that Moriyama usually made her points of view blatantly known, but now it was like she was teetering on edge, uncertain as to what to do next. She and Okumura were friends – or had been friends – so now she must have felt lost without him.

"I say we get some lunch for now and check this shit out later," Shima offered conciliatorily as Izumo wheeled around and started towards the cafeteria, apparently having decided to bless common mortals with her presence no further.

Ryuji left Konekomaru to trail alone behind the now bickering pair, falling in step with the petite blonde instead.

"So… I was wondering," he began, rather unsure. "Do you know anything?"

Shiemi shook her head slowly. "You mean about the evaluation? No, Yuki didn't tell me anything beforehand. But that's only fair…"

"Huh? Ah, no, not about the evaluation." Bon stared straight ahead as he walked, hoping that the awkward vibe between them would dissipate. "I mean about Okumura. He just up and left, didn't he? It's weird…"

"Yuki says that he's fine… down there," Shiemi replied in a low voice. "But I don't know-"

"Do you think he's really down there, Moriyama?" He halted his steps and blocked her path, noticing the blonde's fingers tightening their grip on the stack of books. "Do you even think there's such a thing as the Middle Strip?!"

"Wha-"

"I mean, if it was, how come we were never told of it before?! Don't you think it's something important a future exorcist should know about?! Seriously, a free zone between Assiah and Gehenna?!"

Shiemi faltered, shaking her head again. "Yuki says… it's because we're not supposed to try to go there…" she mumbled unconvincingly.

* * *

Yukio watched absently as the handful of students filed out of the classroom, palms pressed flat on the thick compendium lying on the desk in front of him, as if the touch of rough leather covers was somehow reassuring. It randomly crossed his mind that the exwires could have probably used some encouraging words from him, since he'd basically delivered rather bad news just now, but… there was a sense of futility about the whole thing. What was the use in pretending that he was a good teacher?

What was the use now, when he was second-guessing everything, including the very loyalty to the Vatican and the Grigori? They'd lured him into believing that his brother, despite their momentary victory against Satan, was still a substantial hazard to the organization and needed to be put to the test in that horrid way which had led to his ultimate perdition. And even afterwards, under the Vatican's influence, the younger twin had failed to acknowledge the cruel reality of his brother's state.

Under their influence, he'd initially failed to acknowledge what the organization was truly capable of.

It was true that during school and hard training years, Yukio had developed somewhat of a blunt, no-nonsense side - which he considered necessary when it came to carrying out his tasks effectively – but which on occasion had come between him and people around him, often pushing them away and making him come across as insensitive, even cold-hearted. And it had become embedded into his nature to such an extent that he couldn't break through it anymore, not even enough to provide some basic human comfort when his sibling was lying in pieces.

Instead, he'd focused almost exclusively on the fact that by passing the Grigori's test Rin was safe from Vatican's suspicion and even if he was to fail the exorcist exam on the first attempt, they'd regard it with some understanding, execution no longer looming threateningly in the older twin's near future. He'd focused on all that enough to lose sight of the fact that to Rin it didn't really matter anymore, not after what he'd been through. Thus, ultimately, Yukio had broken the promise made to Shiro, that he'd always protect his brother, no matter what.

And then, with the Grigori's permission, Mephisto Pheles had snatched Rin away.

With automatic gestures, the young teacher gathered his books and papers and placed them stiffly under his arm, then proceeded to pull the phone out his pocket and call Shura's number.

" _What up, scaredy-cat four eyes?"_

"Uh… hey Shura." The spectacled teen threw a hasty glance down the corridor to see if anyone was nearby, but the students were gone without exception. "Where are you?"

" _At the Headquarters, just received my instructions. I'm supposed – bother of all bothers – to meet with the assigned student to be working under my supervision later this afternoon. I gotta hand him his work too, which means I have to go through all pending crap you people have conveniently left behind and pick a suitable case and it's a pain in the ass… So, why did you call?"_

Yukio hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip and fighting back an exasperated sigh. He was seriously tired of asking her. _Her._ "Um, I just-… How is he?"

" _Still holding up, at least on the surface… Got another piercing, I heard."_

The younger twin chose to ignore that disturbing bit of information. "Have you talked to him? Have you asked-"

" _Yeah, he still doesn't wanna talk to you. And I won't press the matter anymore."_

"But-"

" _It's only been four months, Yukio. For that kind of shit, might have as well been yesterday, get it? He needs to get away from things and forget, if he's to ever leave this behind and recover. And he needs to be_ allowed _to forget, for fuck's sake! He thinks you'll only press for him to submit to another interrogation."_

"That's not true!" Yukio gritted his teeth in annoyance. Why did even Shura think he was one of the villains?! "I just want to see how he is! I care about him, damn it, he's my brother! I know that I messed up and I'm sorry, I want to be there for him! I even get it why he can't come back just yet, I really understand-"

" _Then why don't you come down this weekend and check out Age of Astaroth? They're really worth it too, Rin is surprisingly good at it."_

"Wha-?! You know I can't do that! _You_ may have no regard for the rules whatsoever, but I can't ignore the fact that exorcists are strictly forbidden from going down to Middle Strip! There's a permanent truce in the free zone! Or do you expect me to put aside my guns and my badge and just join the rest of unruly kids and depraved bastards who go there to get their fix of Gehenna-flavored 'fun'?!"

" _Fine, Heaven forbid you pull that stick out of your ass anytime soon!"_

* * *

With a thoughtful air, Shura was observing the teen hunched over the library table, taking in every detail – his broad shoulders and overall sturdy frame, his wild, striped hair barely tamed by a hairclip, the piercings dotting both his ears, the dark brows knitted together in a permanent scowl. While she'd participated in the exwires' trainings before and even spied on them for a while in disguise, they were ultimately Yukio's students and she hadn't any specific interest in _the others_ before.

 _He'd better not crap out, scaredy four-eyes_ , she thought, weighing the thick file in her hand. Like hell she would go easy on this kid.

The redhead walked up to the other side of the massive table and plopped down on a chair, lifting her feet up onto the hard surface and stifling a chuckle when the teen flinched in surprise.

"What up, Ryuji Suguro? Are you ready for your assignment?"

"Uh, yes, Miss Kirigakure."

"Why are you sulking then?"

The Aria-in-training looked genuinely taken aback by the question, feeling a sudden pressure under the inspector's scrutinizing gaze. Damn it, he couldn't screw this up! And he _wasn't_ sulking, not really… He was just bothered by the same obsessive question again and again.

"Spill," Shura prompted, reading the teen like an open book."Are you scared, or what?" she taunted, just for the fun of it.

"I'm not scared," Ryuji replied, barely keeping aggression from his tone. "It's just that we were all wondering about this sudden change in curriculum… and whether or not it has anything to do with what happened with Okumura?"

The redhead leaned back further in her chair, looking indifferent. " _Happened_? He just dropped out."

"Why?"

Shura mustered a small, disdainful smile. "Come on, his grades were abysmal. There was no way in hell he would have passed the exorcist exam. Kid was a slacker and you know it."

"But the Grigori had made it clear that if he didn't pass the exorcist exam he would be facing a sure death sentence. So if he dropped out…" the teen paused, swallowing a sudden, painful lump in his throat. "I don't think… and I've never heard of the Middle Strip before and shit-…"

"You're just an exwire," Shura countered. "There are many things out there you've never heard of."

Ryuji faltered, hands balling into fists under the table as he fought to blink back sudden tears. "What I mean, Miss Kirigakure, is that I have no reason to think that the Grigori would just let him off the hook like that. And if he's given up the exorcist exam… how do we know he hasn't been executed already?!"

The inspector's features softened at the sight of his struggle and she sighed. She took her legs off the table and leaned forward on her forearms, closer to the teen who looked like he was about to crack any moment now.

"He's not dead, Suguro. The Grigori let him off the hook because they fucked up, okay?"

 _ **To be continued**_


	3. Some bad news

**Some bad news**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! Looks like things are picking up pace and I honestly don't know why I'm so obsessed with this plot, I just have to write it :)))) Anyway, like I said before enjoy today's update and if you feel like it, scream! I don't mind flames either, as long as they're blue :P

 _Warnings_ : language, mentions of underage drinking, underage smoking, substance abuse, Reiji Shiratori/Astaroth (yeah, that guy's a warning himself in my books ;))))

* * *

Ryuji was completely shocked by the calmness of the teacher's words. Damn… How was that brief sentence ever supposed to be enough?! Okay, Rin was alive, he'd trust her on that, Miss Kirigakure wasn't the type to lie about something like _that_ , but that didn't mean that what they'd been told was entirely true. Ryuji's mind automatically moved to the next worst thing beside execution – maybe the Vatican had locked him up somewhere, inside some inescapable dungeon?!

"But how exactly did they-"

"I think we should be focusing on this instead, don't you?" Shura pushed the thick file she'd brought in front of the teen and tapped on the cover. "Now that I put your mind at ease and all..."

"Hardly!" he jumped, before the impulse could be kept in check. "I-I mean, you just… you didn't give me any explanations!"

The redhead pursed her mouth, with a blunt expression. "I don't owe you any. And it's not like it had anything to do with me."

She paused, giving the boy an assessing once-over as she pondered. Just like she'd thought, Rin had earned himself some friends who actually cared for him, enough to be willing to ask questions in spite of the silent resilience of everyone at the Academy, but did that mean they could pick up the pieces? There was something about this boy though, something in his eyes, a spark of fierceness perhaps, which gave her just a tiny glimmer of hope.

"Look kid, the deal's like this and I'll repeat it just in case scaredy-cat four eyes failed to mention it in class: this is the most important mission you've been given until now, fuck it up and you're out of here. Get it?"

Ryuji nodded, gaze descending on the paperwork laid in front of him and trailing over the 'CLASSIFIED' label at the bottom of the cover. No, he couldn't fuck this up! Especially since Kirigakure-sensei didn't exactly look like she'd give a damn if he did, but damn if he'd worked so hard until now just to get his ass kicked out of Cram school over some stupid mission, classified or not!

"Good. That out of the way, this is an unsolved case which has been put aside, and now I'm giving it to you. It's up to you to find the culprit and fix this mess, and you'll have about a month tops to do it, understood? Now, you have a month because you're still a student and because it's not a priority. But before anything, I'll need to get some comfort that you're at least even remotely close to the right track."

Shura flipped the file open and the boy was brusquely faced with a black-and-white photograph of two mangled bodies lying on the floor of a nondescript living-room. His eyes widened in horror, body jerking back instinctively.

"Well? Can you figure it out?"

The teen fought back a shudder as he reached for the photograph with an uncertain hand. How the hell was this case _not_ a priority?! He was confused. Damn, too many questions cluttering his mind, preventing any reasoning, any remotely useful thought and a headache was slowly creeping in, along with the fear that he would make a terrible 'first impression' on the project.

"Come on, kid, give me something, anything," Shura asked, stifling a bored yawn. "And maybe afterwards I'll answer some more of your burning questions…" Ryuji perked up instantly, frowning at the photograph as he took a closer look. Well, what do you know, it worked as an incentive, she thought. "But it's got to be at least three useful observations, come on."

"Uh… " The teen's eyes scanned the photo, exploring all angles of the scene. There had to be way more than just this one image in the file, but he was being tested now. "There's no sign of… summoning? There are no candles, no pentagrams on the floor… " Shura nodded. "So it was an attack from the outside. Also no signs of possession on the bodies, I think…" Or on what was left of the bodies, at any rate. "And… it looks like there's something scribbled on the back wall, in smeared blood. Uh… can't…" Ryuji scratched his head, squinting. "I can't read it, don't know what it says, but the marks look like ancient Hebrew. Right?"

The teacher looked pleased.

"So, if it's Hebrew, that's a clue as to the type of demon we're dealing with. It could be either a _dybbuk_ or a _golem,_ but then again the _dybbuk_ is a possessing spirit and there's no sign of possession. But it could have possessed someone else, who in turn attacked the victims… Damn, it's either that or-…"

Shura smiled. "That's good enough for now, you're good, don't pull out your hair just yet."

Ryuji dropped back in his seat, sighing heavily as if after some great strain and having dawned on him that this mission was way more than just a teacher-supervised test, like the others had been. It was an enormous responsibility if people's lives were at stake (the longer he took with it, the more bodies could be piling up) and he was supposed to handle it in order to prove himself worthy of being an exorcist.

"So… now you'll tell me what the Grigori did?"

* * *

Rin dragged his feet into the room, using the wall for support and face contorted into a grimace. The dull ache which came and went on most days had now grown into a sharp pain thanks to the extra effort, to the point that the small of his back felt like it was on fire. Right now every single step was pure torture. Tired eyes scanned the surroundings rapidly, in search of some relief, but only discovering Sir Pheles sitting quietly in a corner, going through the books.

"Ah shit! You're unwell again, aren't you?" observed the green-eyed demon, shaking his head.

"'s been a long night…" the boy drawled, collapsing on the sofa with a pained huff, letting his head fall backwards on the backrest and eyes closing. "Did you bring me more medicine?"

Mephisto turned in his seat, scowling. "No, I'm here because someone needs to take care of the books, this is _a business_ , after all! As for the medicine, I don't want you to become addicted to it or anything, we're supposed to focus on finding a permanent cure, remember? I have reasons to believe that your current 'prescription' is hindering our efforts, so no more of that."

Rin rolled his eyes, sighing tiredly. He shifted, shrugging out of the black denim jacket and reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his back pocket.

"Don't you dare light that up in my nose!" Sir Pheles warned sharply. "I've had enough pollution until now!"

The half-demon boy threw the pack on the table petulantly, mouth pressed into a thin line and crossing his arms.

"Great, now you're sulking…" Mephisto muttered, shaking his head. "There's some beer in the fridge, for fuck's sake… Astaroth!" he called.

A lavender-haired boy wearing a tight red t-shirt and baggy jeans hanging low on his hips marched into the room, drumsticks still in his hand. Upon quickly assessing the situation, he dumped them on the table with a startling clatter and turned on his heels, again disappearing from view.

"The nerve of this bastard, strutting that teen ass like he owns it or something," Mephisto observed dryly, pointing with a sharp-nailed thumb towards the door.

Astaroth returned, carrying a tray with a small bowl and two cans of beer. Setting it down on the coffee table, he plopped on the couch and removed the cans, then poured some of the orange powder in the bowl onto the tray and used a long, black nail to separate it into lines.

"There you go, young master," the demon said, lifting Rin gently and propping his back against his chest.

The brunet leaned over the tray the other boy was holding up for him, hissing in pain as his aching back was strained by the motion, and snorted two decent-sized lines. A soft sigh left his lips almost immediately after and his head fell backwards onto Astaroth's shoulder, a claw-like hand coming up to brush a few rebel strands away from his forehead.

"That's it… the pain is fading away… you don't feel anything anymore," the lavender-haired boy whispered, lips brushing teasingly against the shell of his ear.

"By the way, speaking of asses, the Grigori have a carrot up theirs the size of China," Sir Pheles stated, ticking off some numbers in his ledger. "They keep everyone under surveillance these days… I'd find their helpless struggle amusing if it wasn't in fact quite the opposite. Given the amount of time and resources I have invested in their organization in the last two hundred years, I find this lack of ability rather irritating."

"The fuck do I care…" Rin muttered numbly.

And he didn't care, not when Astaroth's hands trailed down his body or caressed his hair as a lover would, not even when the demon shifted, allowing him to lay flat on the cushions and pretended to climb on top of him predatorily. He knew that Astaroth wouldn't push his luck.

"Is _he_ … still in there?"

A dull curiosity led Rin's hand upwards, to cup the other boy's cheek as sleepy blue eyes glanced straight into the demon's pale pink ones. He didn't really care about this either though - Reiji Shiratori had had this coming and for someone as rotten as that fuck Shiro's breath had been wasted trying to exorcise Astaroth out of his body. The demon simply had much too strong a foothold amidst all that festering malice not to return to his prey shortly afterwards.

"Of course, young master," the lavender-haired boy replied, smiling a mouthful of shark-like teeth. "He is right here, watching, hearing and feeling everything, just as I do. I even allow him 'out' upon occasion."

Astaroth straightened, sitting back on his heels, knees still pressed on each side of Rin's legs, the thick, twisted horns shrinking on the sides of his skull until they disappeared completely, along with the claws and the sharp teeth, and the pale pink color of his irises returned to their natural black shade.

Rin scowled and blinked, reflecting that it had probably been a bad idea. Now Shiratori was likely going to try to strangle him – by the way his fingers were twitching experimentally – and he'd have to kick his ass. His gaze trailed over to the table and the beer cans and he pondered whether or not he should just use one on Shiratori's head just in case. But the other boy seemed to have read his mind, because he leaned forward brusquely, capturing the half-demon's wrists and pinning them on either side of his head, his grip hard enough to hurt.

"Well, well, if it isn't a pleasure to get you like this, all helpless, _young master_ ," Reiji said mockingly. "We don't have much time, but please, do me a favor, Okumura, call my name, okay? _My_ name!"

"Why, did you forget it?"

The gang leader let out a chuckle, shifting his weight on Rin's stomach. "Looks like me and the King of Rot want the same things, so when he finally fucks you so hard that you're gonna see stars, I want you to scream _my_ name. That's right, I want to hear you moan like a slut for me, Okumura…"

"Bite me, Reiji," the brunet replied apathetically, tearing one hand free from Shiratori's grip to pull his buzzing phone out of his back pocket. He graced the lit screen with a bored glance and recognized Shura's number. "Alright, that's enough, Astaroth," he added, waving the hand with the phone.

"Hello?"

" _What up, brat? You bored already?"_

"Ugh…" Rin scowled, shifting to a more comfortable position as Astaroth released him. "I'm tired, Mephisto is quite the slave driver when it comes to his profits…" He glanced furtively over to his older brother, but the purple-haired demon continued to work on his ledgers, pretending not to have heard anything.

" _Yeah, I bet. Listen up, I thought that by now you should stop lazing around, so I've got a mind to shove some work your way._ "

The half-demon boy groaned, rubbing one eye with the heel of his palm. "Are you serious?! What kind of work? And does Meph-"

" _Yep, got his blessing, wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. And don't worry, I think you'll find it fun enough. Besides, don't you miss your friends?"_

He flinched, a pang of fear shooting painfully through his stomach as the effects of the drug were momentarily cancelled. Suddenly he was wide awake and horribly scared. His heart instantly began pounding madly in his chest and tears welled in his eyes, threatening to spill.

"I-I'm not going back! I'm not going back up, Shura!"

" _It's_ Miss _Shura, damn it! And I didn't say you were going back, don't hyperventilate now, geez! I was just thinking that if you too have become a scaredy-cat like your brother, you may take up some tutoring work as well and partially relieve me of the current pain-in-the-ass task. You up for it?"_

Rin looked at Sir Pheles and was again ignored.

"Wha-… Are you fucking kidding me?! Of course I'm not up for it! Who the hell could I possibly _tutor_?! I left my all books back at Yukio's anyway and it's not like I-"

" _Wrong answer, brat, and I wasn't giving you an option here. See ya next week!"_

"But-"

The teacher had already hung up. Damn.

 _ **To be continued**_


	4. Limited disclosure

**Limited disclosure**

A/N – Hello everyone! I am ever amazed by the number of favs and follows this story got in so short a time and I'm really grateful to you guys, it really means a lot to me if people enjoy my weird crap :)))) Because make no mistake, even if you think it's not, I will prove you wrong. I'm also aware that you've got many questions by now and finally in this chap some of the mist will be cleared out ;) Enjoy!

 _Warnings:_ major flashback ahead (I know some people hate those but life is tough),mentions of torture, abuse, self-harm, depression

* * *

 _Shura stood motionless behind the thick glass, numbly observing the small hospital room and the boy lying fast asleep on the bed. The test had lasted for three days and while she'd not wanted anything to do with it, she'd still wanted to see Rin at the end and find out how he'd done – only to see him collapse to the ground, unconscious, not two seconds after he'd stepped out of that room._

 _And now here he was, sheet-white and out cold, the IV drip in his arm ensuring a constant supply of concentrated demon's bane – the only substance strong enough to keep him sedated. For now there was no other option to keep him from agony until the Vatican experts figured out how to treat the Mortal Instrument wound. It refused to heal on its own and because of it, none of the other injuries Rin had received during the test wasn't healing either. That being said, it was a mystery how he was still alive at all._

" _Excuse me, inspector?"_

 _She nearly flinched when the Doctor cleared his throat, having previously tuned out everything but the image before her eyes, even Yukio who currently sat slumped on a chair nearby, on the verge of dozing off. Her gaze trailed to the folder in the man's hand and the redhead fought back a shudder._

" _Do you have the full assessment of his injuries?" she asked, struggling to keep her tone as neutral as possible._

 _The Doctor's eyes flicked briefly towards the teen in the chair. "Perhaps we could discuss about this in private?" he suggested._

" _No!" Yukio jumped from his seat abruptly, barely resisting the urge to grab the man's arm. "I want to know what's going on with my brother! Please… whatever you have to say…"_

 _The older man sighed, flipping the cover of his folder and going over the summary on the front page._

" _As you already know, the Mortal Instrument wound appears to have been delivered somewhere at the beginning of the test, which explain the multitude of injuries currently not healed and which must have been subsequently sustained. So aside from that, we found several shallow cuts, bruises, three gunshots – one to the chest and two to the stomach, a tail fracture and… clear indications of sexual abuse."_

 _Shura blinked, momentarily uncomprehending. "Indications?"_

" _Indeed, clear indications. The act was particularly violent, even though the perpetrator was careful enough not to leave any DNA samples behind that would allow us to identify them."_

"… _he was_ raped _?" Yukio breathed out, eyes wide with a look of disbelief._

 _The Doctor nodded slowly, closing the folder. "If we fix the Mortal Instrument wound, we estimate that he'll make a full physical recovery in a relatively short time," he said, eyes trained on Shura and carefully avoiding the teen's shocked stare. "The body will heal, but the rest… there's no way of telling at this point."_

 _The redhead's jaw tightened and she looked away from the doctor in a vague attempt to conceal the flash of anger crossing her face. Those bastards!_

" _Why is he handcuffed to the bed? It's not like he's going to wake up while you keep the demon's bane flowing, right?"_

" _He bit his arm in his sleep last night really badly, when the nurse came this morning to check up on him it was almost chewed to the bone. We have to make sure he doesn't hurt himself further, he can't lose any more blood since we can barely keep things patched up as it is."_

* * *

 _Two weeks later, they'd found a partial cure and the Mortal Instrument wound had begun to heal. The rest of the wounds were fading as well, but at this point the Doctors were skeptical about Rin ever recovering completely. At best, a permanent scar would remain and cause occasional discomfort, especially upon strain._

 _Meanwhile, the Grigori had informed Yukio that his brother had successfully passed the test, but had not provided any details as to their current efforts – if any – to identify and apprehend the persons responsible for Rin's torture. Shura was silently fuming at all this, wondering why on fucking earth had Shiro Fujimoto given his trust and allegiance to this rotten organization. The only explanation was that he must have firmly believed in the righteousness of their professed – and of his own – mission and perhaps not even in his position as a Paladin had he become acquainted with their true face._

 _Of course, most exorcists employed by the Vatican organization were good and fairly honorable people, never capable of such atrocity as to use a forbidden weapon to inflict torture upon a helpless prisoner, but among them there were also a few bad apples who the Grigori tolerated for the sake of effectiveness. And those were much worse that even the pure-blooded demon Mephisto Pheles._

 _Today she had returned to the Vatican hospital upon a call received from the Paladin, since she still was Rin's unofficial trainer, however daunting the task appeared currently. More likely, now it was expected of her to piece the half-demon boy back together to a reasonably functional state, after they'd broken him._

 _Arthur A. Angel was waiting stiffly out in the pristine hallway, hands clasped behind his back and face stern, unreadable. Had he too partaken in Rin's test? Probably, she thought._

" _Well? What'd you want, baldie?"_

" _Miss Kirigakure," the blond nodded in greeting. "As you know, there is an unfolding investigation in relation to this incident."_

' _Right'. She said nothing._

" _But it appears that the Grigori have ended up thwarted by their own previously enforced confidentiality measures. Since the test was conducted in such secrecy, there is no way of putting up a list of all people involved. If that were possible, we could perhaps ascertain who did what, we would at least have a list of suspects, but like this we don't have anything. So the Grigori have decided to lift the curse purported to prevent the son of Satan from ever speaking about what happened during his test and interrogate him."_

 _Shura blinked. "Interrogate him?! But in the same 'spirit of confidentiality' he was blindfolded during the test! So how could he know-"_

" _A demon has a much keener hearing and smell than a human," the Paladin cut her off. "It's not impossible that he should actually know_ who _did_ what _."_

" _And what if he just… can't talk? Or if he-"_

" _Of course, we're not going to_ trust _him with that. He'll be injected with a truth serum, do you know how that works? It finds the truth inside you and you won't get any relief from the pain until you spill it out._ All of it _."_

 _The inspector wanted to slap him across the face as hard as she could._

" _So you want to wake him up even if he's not even recovered yet and put him through more torture. As expected of you," she concluded coldly._

 _Arthur faltered and his expression changed, softening somewhat. "Shura, it's not quite like that. It will only be for a short while and besides, he has no reason to resist the serum, so it won't be that bad. The organization's reputation is at stake – if word ever gets out that this happened and those responsible are still at large, it will reflect very badly on the Grigori. Do you understand? "_

" _Of course. As well as I understand that this is your only concern and that it has never occurred to you – in the overall context of your lack of sympathy – that the person who abused Rin might be teaching at the Cram school and that other students might actually be in harm's way. Because you know, this shit never happens_ just once _!"_

 _Saying that, she stepped into the reserve and purposely shut the door in the Paladin's nose._

 _Yukio was already there and the startled expression on his face as the redhead walked in indicated that Angel had previously briefed him as well about the Grigori's decision. Shura circled the bed in which Rin currently slept curled up on his side, free from handcuffs for now, and carefully parted the back of the hospital gown to examine the still fresh-looking cross-shaped scar just above the root of his tail._

" _Do you think he can even sit up?" she asked, but the younger twin didn't answer. "Okay, let's see how he is for starters…"_

 _The teen stood from his seat and leaned over the bed to remove his brother's IV drip, then after about two minutes unscrewed the lid of a tiny recipient, holding it under Rin's nose for another couple of minutes. Eventually, his twin's eyelids fluttered open sleepily, revealing glazed, unfocused eyes._

" _Rin? Can you hear me? How do you feel?" the redhead asked softly._

 _The half-demon boy blinked slowly, eyebrows drawing together into a light scowl as he breathed audibly through the nose. His gaze followed Shura's hand numbly as she reached over to touch his shoulder, even as his muscles twitched under the press of fingers._

" _Rin? Look at me," Yukio prompted in turn, a little louder and attempting an encouraging smile. "It's okay, it's over. It's gonna be fine, you passed the test-"_

 _Rin's eyes slowly shifted onto his twin and his breath hitched brusquely, his expression suddenly showing nothing but pure horror. He recoiled visibly, hands fisting helplessly in the covers and the bandaged tail withdrawing behind his legs._

"… _get…ah… away… from… a-ah…away f-from me," he breathed out, looking like he really wanted to scream but his voice reduced to no more than a faint, throaty hiss. "G-Get away f-from me!" Hands flew up to cover his face and he broke into loud sobs, his whole body starting to shake. "D-Don't you t-touch me, don't touch me, d-don't…."_

" _Are you fucking serious, four-eyes?!" Shura snapped. "He's been out cold for almost three weeks now and the first thing you have to say is about that fucking test?! Really?!"_

 _She walked to the other side of the bed again and sat down, collecting the sobbing boy into her arms with uncharacteristic gentleness, almost motherly. Rin flinched visibly at first, but gave in to the embrace and his shaking eventually subsided as she stroked his hair._

" _But that's good news-"_

 _Good news?!_ This _was good news?!_

" _Get the fuck out!" the inspector barked. "You think I wouldn't figure it out, huh? The gunshots and now his reaction? Get the fuck out of here! Now!"_

* * *

Shura sighed, making an effort to momentarily push away the painful recollection. There was no way she could have told Ryuji Suguro about all those things, even without the current express ban from the Grigori. The kid already suspected that something very bad had happened to his friend and classmate, even though he was probably nowhere near the whole horrible truth. Yet… she might as well give him something, as promised.

"Well, shortly after Satan's attack, when you'd all gone home for the time being and the Academy was under reconstruction, the Grigori decided for some unknown reason that however valuable a resource for the organization, Rin might still have been a hazard because of his assumed lack of self-control. So they decided to put him to a test for exactly that purpose."

Ryuji scowled at hearing this, instantly finding it suspicious. "But why were we never told about this?" he asked. "I mean we were told when he was facing execution, but not some test?!"

"Because there was a great deal of secrecy about it from the very beginning and even more so in the aftermath," Shura proceeded to explain. "See, the test consisted of him _not reacting in any way_ to a series of direct attacks carried out by various anonymous staff of the organization, as a supposed measure of his self-control. He actually passed the test – against all odds I would say, taking into account his short-fused-ness – but some very bad things happened-… no, _were done_ to him during the test under the cover of anonymity and the Grigori have been unable to discover the culprits until now."

The teen saw the redhead's lips pressing into a thin line and sensed that he would probably not get any more details beyond that point. Not that he wanted them, specifically, his stomach already having cringed at the information delivered so far. What she'd said pretty much meant that the Vatican had literally tortured his classmate, even if no one would quite phrase it that way.

That was why everyone was silent.

It was odd though, because after all the tension of _not knowing_ he'd been living with for the past weeks, now the truth brought about no vivid reaction but a strange sort of numbness. As if he'd suddenly relaxed and couldn't feel anything anymore, under the influence of shock. Even so, he knew that this feeling wouldn't last – at some point the horror of what he'd discovered would come back and strike him unexpectedly, full force.

"How bad?"

The words left the Aria-in-training's lips in a barely audible whisper as he stared awkwardly in his lap.

"He was in the hospital for more than a month."

 _ **To be continued**_


	5. Awkward encounters 1

**Awkward encounters 1**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! I am finally back with a new chap after a short period of soul searching and arguing with my ever-fickle muses and their shit ;))) Anyway, things get more interesting from now on and even if you might find that some characters seem presently out-of-character, it is all for plot purposes and things do add up in the long run (sort of). That is to say, this chap might be a bit shocking, so…

Lyrics (and implied music): _Deftones – Back to school_

 _Warnings:_ implied substance abuse

* * *

Ryuji was confused. The meager bits of information Kirigakure-sensei had eventually agreed to give to him had filled the teen with a new sort of horror, the kind that came with pieces of terrible truth now drifting into the sea of gloomy uncertainty. And then the teacher had had the most bizarre idea of all – and possibly the most ill-inspired as far as the completion of his project was concerned – that he should go down to Middle Strip himself and visit Okumura in person.

Which meant… that the Middle Strip actually _existed_ , it was a real place and not some made-up myth as he'd suspected for the most part. But if it really existed – and it was indeed as described, a 'free', 'no man's land' realm between Assiah and Gehenna, the fact was no good news in itself, nor it was that his half demon classmate was actually living there now, and to be sure it was not the kind of place any human in their right mind would have ever considered _visiting_!

But for some reason Shura seemed to think it was a good idea, even a welcome change of perspective as she'd phrased it, just before adding that by law down there exorcists were banned from entering and he should do well to leave all Cram school insignia behind if he wanted to stay out of trouble.

And then (on top of it all) there had come the most staggering information of all – when he had asked how the hell was one actually supposed to get to Middle Strip Shura had told him that he was, in the same absolute secrecy which surrounded everything these days, to ask for Moriyama's help in the matter.

So, to sum everything up, Ryuji was currently plagued by the pervasive feeling that on top of making even more sinister discoveries about what was generally going on, he would also end up fucking up his assignment monumentally. Still, something pushed him towards the very unfolding of events which he deeply dreaded, like the unsuspecting moth drawn to a fatal flame.

Because he _wanted_ to see Rin Okumura again.

* * *

As expected, when approached earlier that day the petite blonde had reacted with above-average apprehension and suspicion, and equally eager to escape the questioning glances of the rest of their classmates, who had noticed the two of them whispering in secrecy away from the small group. Only the mention of Kirigakure-sensei had brought some reassurance and she'd reluctantly agreed to help in the end.

'Meet me outside my house at midnight tonight', she'd said. 'And please, wear something more… casual than this'.

Really, if even the meek, doll-like Moriyama had become someone to be met at midnight, things were seriously going to shit.

At first, Ryuji had worried when seeing the lights still on inside Mrs. Moriyama's small shop, considering the late hour, but then a little after midnight the door opened and Shiemi walked out hurriedly, after a quick exchange of words with someone inside, probably her mother.

To the Aria-in-training's absolute shock, she was barely recognizable. The proper school uniform the blonde looked rather awkward wearing most days had been replaced by a full black outfit consisting of a tight tank top and miniskirt, matched with a pair of chic high-heeled boots. The chin-length hair had been sleeked into a glossy bob, her lashes were heavy with mascara and her still childish lips were painted a bright red.

 _What the fu-_

"Um… Suguro… before you ask anything," Shiemi began as they started down the dark street, the usual stuttered and uncertain tone proof that it was still _her_ underneath all that unseemly polish, "My mother's making me do this. Uh, s-she really needs the money…"

Ryuji blinked, staring straight ahead stubbornly, jaw set and fists clenched in the pockets of his denim jacket. What the hell?! No, seriously, WHAT THE HELL?!

"But why are you going down to Middle Strip?!" he burst out angrily, mind suddenly crossed by a particularly nasty thought. "Does _Okumura_ know about this?!"

The blonde nodded demurely. "Yes, he does. The thing is, mother has very few customers here, but there it's not illegal…"

" _What's_ not illegal?!" Ryuji's eyes were bulging by now.

Shiemi sighed, one small hand clutching the strap of the large messenger bag he hadn't noticed she was carrying. "Well, um… selling weed."

 _Oh. God._

"I mean, there's nothing wrong with it… Mother makes the best demon's bane derivates and they're in high demand in Middle Strip. After all, that's where the wildest parties are and this stuff isn't really harmful or anything, not to them at least. And everyone always pays up, I've never had any trouble with that either."

A numb, stupid smile crept upon Ryuji's face, already he was sure that he would wake up in his bed any moment now and all this crazy shit would prove to be no more than some messed-up dream. Because there was no way in Hell that _this_ was real! No way in Hell-… But then Moriyama led them away from the street and through an abandoned junkyard of sorts, in the back of which loomed a decrepit warehouse. When the pair reached the rusty double doors, the petite blonde dug inside her bag and pulled out a key, similar to the ones they were using to get into the Cram school.

And then, finally, the truth sank in.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Moriyama… I thought-… I thought you were joking!"

Shiemi looked up at him brusquely, confused.

"No, I mean I'm fucking serious!" Ryuji nearly shouted, gripping her upper arms hard enough to hurt. "What the fuck is your mother thinking sending you alone, in the fucking realm of demons, to sell shit?! And Kirigakure-sensei, what, she knows about this?! She's fucking _okay_ with it?! And who else knows about this?! Just how fucking irresponsible are you people?! WHAT THE FUCKEST FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

The blonde appeared rather unfazed by the other teen's outburst as she meekly freed herself from his grip and turned the key in the lock.

"Suguro, it's fine if you don't want to come…"

* * *

Ryuji didn't know what he'd been expecting, really - what he was seeing now was no realm of raging fires bursting from the ground and some barren land as far as the eyes could see, none of that. Middle Strip was, against all odds, a city. Ugly and definitely shady-looking at a first glance, as the two students had walked through the portal and out into a dark street with no lamps and bordered by crooked iron fences. Some buildings loomed in the distance, profiled against the starless sky streaked with reddish clouds, but nothing otherworldly so far.

"I can't believe it…" the Aria-in-training grumbled, once more adjusting his large strides to the petite girl's small steps. "I can't believe you _knew_ about this and said nothing! How could you not tell us what happened to him?!"

Shiemi shook her head sadly. "But I don't know that much… only that he took some test of sorts and he's-…"

Suddenly, Ryuji felt a stab of fear shooting through his stomach, only now realising that he'd actually plunged into this head-first, too quickly, without any preparation and without as much as asking himself if he was even remotely ready for what he would actually find out. The bits of information fell in place together brusquely – Okumura had been in the hospital for more than a month (which was striking because normally the half-demon was able to recover from any injury at top speed) and Shura had let him understand that something particularly foul had occurred – and he was left wondering just how bad things were currently.

"He's what?"

"He's not so well. That's why Sir Pheles arranged… um… that I should be his permanent provider," the blonde said, patting her bag. "So that's how he found out what I was doing… But like I said, I don't know much, Yuki wouldn't talk to me at all about this and Rin… well, he can't." She paused, shrugging helplessly. "But it's okay. Even if he can't tell me anything, I'm there for him and he knows that… He knows I'll always be there for him, he's my best friend."

This couldn't have been any less reassuring.

"But demon's bane is either poisonous – in higher dosages – or, at best, a sedative," the other teen pointed. "And the demon's bane derivates your mother is preparing, they're _drugs_ , right? Are you telling me that's the best Sir Pheles could come up with? Keep him on drugs?!"

"There's nothing else for the pain."

Oh God. He was still in pain, after all this time?! Now Ryuji was scared.

Upon expressing his request to see his friend he had expected the blonde to take him to a house or something, but instead Moriyama eventually led the way into an entirely different kind of place. It was a club - an enormous, underground hall with countless stone pillars on which torches burned on top of gruesome carvings, with a large stage was visible in the back, more lit than the rest of the space, and a bar was placed on one side, countless customers literally piling at the counter. The place was full and he understood why Shiemi had said that here were the wildest parties. A deafening rave beat was blaring from the sound system, the crowd swayed madly and he saw a lot of young people – obviously human and some probably even highschool students – mingling among dubious creatures that were definitely _not_ human.

"What the hell is this place?!" Ryuji shouted over the loud music. "Where's Okumura?"

"It's okay, it's chill, really. He works here, we'll see him shortly," Shiemi replied, waving to someone in the distance. "Don't worry, this place is safe, even Kirigakure-sensei comes for a drink sometimes. Eh, by the way, as you can see there's a lot of people at the bar, but I wouldn't get anything if I were you… "

Two horned boys walked up to them and the petite girl mumbled something about having to work now, but that Rin would show up soon enough.

"Hey, poppet," one of the demons drawled, teeth sharp like daggers visible when he grinned. "Got something for us tonight?"

Shiemi dug in the messenger and pulled out a few small packets, the two boys offering some crumpled bills in return. One of them snuck an arm around her waist and whispered something in her ear teasingly, making her giggle softly, while Ryuji could do nothing else but witness the whole exchange dumbstruck. The air was heavy with smoke and some indefinite aroma, like sweet incense, and he was beginning to feel lightheaded.

Shortly, the music ceased abruptly and the teen saw everyone around turning towards the stage, while Shiemi pulled his hand, pressing forward through the tight crowd. Up on the stage, a tiny, purple-haired man was adjusting a microphone in its stand.

"AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTS, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR," he announced in a booming voice. "PLEASE WELCOME… AGE OF ASTAROTH!"

At a snap of the midget's fingers, there was a loud puff of smoke and a drum set appeared, followed by a lavender-haired boy who looked oddly familiar sitting behind it, then two horned giants with electric guitars and finally, as the presenter stepped away from the microphone, a final puff revealed a silhouette Ryuji would have recognized anywhere.

 _No way… No fucking way._

The half-demon boy stood there motionless and oblivious of the now screaming crowd, head bowed and hair covering his eyes, hands stuffed casually in the pockets of the faded grey jeans which were ripped in the knees. His simple outfit was completed by a plain grey t-shirt and messily laced combat boots and Ryuji noticed several silver studs complimenting the pointy shells of his ears. Also, his bangs were a tad bit longer than before, the tips dyed an electric blue shade.

A few soft guitar accords made the background noise die down and for a few moments an eerie melody drifted in the air, then the drummer slammed down his sticks violently.

" _So run..."_ Rin growled in the microphone, suddenly raising his hand and pointing at the crowd. _"Right... Right back to school!"_ He smiled deviously for a moment, sharp teeth bared. " _Look back I sift through all the cliques/ Roaming the halls all year making me sick / While everyone's out trying to make the cut /What / When you think you know me…"  
_

Rin pulled off the microphone and stumbled backwards, shaking his finger, while the two other demons jumped up in sync and the audience roared, pushing forward. The Aria-in-training was nearly knocked off his feet by a group of screaming, disheveled fangirls, and much to his horror he couldn't help noticing their glazed eyes and trance-like movements. Even if all around people were jumping like crazy, one with the rhythm, there was an odd, slow-motion fluidity to it, as if they were under a spell of sorts.

"Moriyama! What the fuck is going on?!" he shouted in the blonde's ear.

Shiemi shrugged, motioning to the bar. "I told you, people come here to party…"

" _Right_ _/_ _I switch it up / Behind the walls smoking cigarettes and sipping vodka / Hop a fence and catch a cab / Ain't no one can stop us…"  
_

Back up on the stage, a familiar blue aura was engulfing the half-demon boy's body as he swayed, clutching at the microphone with his eyes closed. He too seemed to be taken by the same bizarre state of everyone else, moving like in a dream, and Ryuji realized _why_ – anything else would have been just too good to be true.

" _Push back the square / Now that you need her / But you don't/ So there you go /Cuz back in school we are the leaders of it all"  
_

The flames were growing stronger with each word now, slowly creeping across the stage until they engulfed the drummer and the two guitarists as well, not that they seemed to notice or be bothered in any way. It was weird… why…? Why weren't they burning up? There was no way Rin could have controlled his flames so precisely over such a large area, when normally even focusing on a single target took him enough effort.

" _So stop that... quit... all that... / Quit"  
_

Eyes wide in shock, the teen watched his classmate return to the front of the stage, once more pointing his finger at the loud audience. As he did so the flames spilled over the edge like a powerful wave, sweeping over the crowd like a fiery embrace. A gush of air ruffled Ryuji's hair, hot like desire yet soft like a gentle caress.

" _Who ruined it?"_

" _You did"_

"Oh, shit…" he murmured, terrified.

 _ **To be continued**_


	6. Awkward encounters 2

**Awkward encounters 2**

A/N – Hello everyone! Time for a new update and more awkwardness, if nothing else :))) Just kidding! I am so grateful to you guys for the amazing feedback, hope you keep enjoying this twisted piece of work and let me know what you think ;) (tbh I'm both excited and kinda nervous about how this turned out… hm)

 _Warnings:_ mentions of underage drinking and smoking (and Astaroth's creepiness)

* * *

There was a huge black gap in Ryuji's memories from the moment he'd seen and _felt_ the wicked blue flames engulfing him - all-powerful, inescapable and striking a deep horror into his very core - to the point he now found himself seated on a torn couch in a secluded room, away from the madness in the club. Wild music was still reaching his ears, coming from not very far actually, but a soothing, safe semi-obscurity surrounded him for a change.

"Suguro? Are you okay now?"

Moriyama was holding something which turned out to be a cold bottle pressed against his forehead and slight worry was written over her features as she uttered the question softly.

"W-What… h-how did I get here?" the Aria-in-training inquired, the hoarseness of his own voice taking him by surprise as he still felt rather light-headed. "W-Where are we?"

"It's okay, I guess you got a bit dizzy from the smoke and stuff," the blonde reassured him with a shrug, "But you got here on your own feet, really. I got you backstage, since the boys are on a break for half an hour or so. Stay here, I'll go get Rin."

Ryuji didn't get the chance to speak up in protest – even if by now he was entertaining some serious second-thoughts about this – the deep-seated fear from earlier coiling in his stomach with renewed force. He leaned forward and reached out, pulling a bit aside the curtain behind which Shiemi had just disappeared.

The other room was only illuminated by a pale, flickering bulb, heavy clouds of cigarette smoke drifting towards the cracked ceiling, and he saw the lavender-haired boy from the drums lounging on a couch which wasn't in much better shape than the spare one Ryuji was currently occupying, a can of beer in hand. Reiji… something? He clearly remembered the boy now, he'd seen him before at the Academy during regular classes, and Okumura had mentioned something about him being a thug and getting into several fights with him before joining the Cram school.

Reiji… Shiratori?

Yeah, definitely that guy. Minus the twisted horns on the sides of his head, the sinister pink shade of his orbs and those long, sharp claws. No, _that thing_ was a demon, only the body must have been Shiratori's… Suddenly Ryuji couldn't breathe and his stomach cringed painfully. Right now he wanted nothing but to get away from this place, just break into a run, dash for his life and not look back, but his body was stiff, incapable of the tiniest movement as the fabric slipped from his fingers.

He flinched and jerked backwards on instinct when muttered voices were heard just on the other side of the curtain, distinctively from other, more distant ones.

"It's okay, really… he's fine with it," Ryuji heard Shiemi saying in a low voice, entwined with some whispers he couldn't make out at all. "No, he didn't know-… "she spoke again. "… yes, Kirigakure-sensei. No, that… not with Yuki, he didn't…. No, no, of course he isn't mad at you!"

The Aria-in-training blinked, wondering if he'd somehow misheard or made the wrong assumption. Was Okumura really worried about _his_ reaction?! Sure, it was true that he was prone to angry outbursts every now and then - upon being given reason – but they had never seemed to concern his classmate, who was more often than not unfazed by people's negative reactions towards him.

His doubts vanished completely though when the blonde stepped in followed by the half-demon boy, who looked shockingly reluctant and apprehensive. Rin's bold and wicked-looking on-stage persona had dissolved entirely, replaced by a self-consciousness and vulnerable vibe which was completely out of character, and Ryuji took in every detail in awe – those surreal blue eyes slightly widened, the imperceptible flare of nostrils, the tensed hunch of shoulders, all down to the piercings which – he realized upon briefly recalling getting his own – Okumura probably wore like a figurative body armor. His fear from earlier was replaced by a sort of pained and confused enchantment, because Rin was so clearly broken and fragile even with all that added metal, including the miniscule drop of silver nestled into the wing of his nose, yet so damn… _alluring._ Which was hella odd because Ryuji was quite sure he'd never thought of his classmate _that way_ before, Okumura was nothing more than his friend (and rival), occasionally annoying as fuck too.

"What up, Bon?"

His voice was the same, even if the ever-present carefree smile from before was gone, and the other teen felt the old urge to let him have it, just like when he was falling asleep in class, or was late, or doing some other stupid shit which successfully got on Ryuji's nerves every single time.

"Nothing much," he grumbled ill-humoredly in reply, standing from his seat. "Just the rude awakening, I suppose. Why the hell didn't you tell us anything, huh?! Were you ever even going to?! Do you think it's okay to just vanish like that, without as much as an explanation?!"

Rin inhaled sharply, eyes darting quickly to Shiemi before he licked his lips nervously. "I couldn't, I-I wasn't allowed! Uh… I'm still not supposed to… talk about it. The Grigori don't want-…"

"I know. Kirigakure-sensei told me." Ryuji regretted his outburst, even if voiced in a lower tone than he usually employed. "I'm sorry…"

"Uh… I'll go see if Astaroth wants anything," Shiemi said quickly, breaking the ensuing awkwardness, and made a hasty exit, while the half-demon boy walked past Ryuji and plopped on the couch, mumbling something about really needing to sit down.

"So, what the hell is going on?" the Aria-in-training inquired, crossing his arms. "You what, really dropped out of Cram school?"

The smaller teen nodded, extracting a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jeans pocket. "Yeah, I'm not going back there. Mephisto set me up with this job for now and it's cool, I guess… " The shaking of his hands was obvious when he lit up and took a long drag, gaze fixed in his own lap.

"But-… What about the exorcist exam? If you went for a knight qualification, you could totally pull it off, after what I saw you do out there!" _How the hell_ did _you do that?!_ Ryuji meant to ask. He'd never seen Okumura in such perfect control of his flames before!

"No, Bon." Pale, slender fingers ran through the black-and-blue bangs, brushing them away from the half-demon's forehead. "Like fuck I'm going to work for the Vatican or… do anything for them, or for my brother, ever again. Done quite enough, I think."

Ryuji inwardly cringed at that cold, bitter determination. There was so much hurt behind it, and this stubborn, pervasive silence of everyone drove him mad. If only they explained why…

"Okumura… you're really not okay, are you?"

Rin shrugged, snorting softly and staring absentmindedly at the smoke rising from his cigarette.

"Anyway, I… guess I wanted to see how you are," the taller teen grumbled, uncomfortable. "And Kirigakure-sensei said I should, too… Uh, she's my project supervisor now and we talked a lot, in private."

 _Oh shit, this just sounded wrong._

"I know, "the half-demon boy said quickly, grasping at the opportunity to change the subject. "She told me about it yesterday, said you were coming, too."

"Wha-… She talked to you about my project?"

"Yeah. Well, not, uh… in detail, but-…" Rin paused and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Um Bon, look… before you go through the roof, just know that this really, really wasn't my idea! And I'm aware of how… uh… backwards it sounds, but… Shura is – how did she say? – determined to see you develop even further while on this job. So she… uh… wants me to tutor you. Like, in the only thing you're still missing."

"She wants you to… _what?"_

The brunet only shrugged, looking somewhat apologetic.

"Seriously, what could _you_ possibly tutor _me_ in?! The one thing I'm still missing – what is that?!" Bon honestly found this beyond comprehension, unless it was a bad joke of some kind. A joke it was for sure, but bad because he was actually on a tight schedule with the project, and there was so much more at stake that just his admission at the qualification exam! Was Kirigakure-sensei making fun of him or something?! Maybe she didn't really like him or something, or had decided to test his nerves.

"Um… not sure. She actually said that I'm supposed to figure that one out myself. In the meantime, it seems you'll be getting a few days off from classes to work on the project, so… um… I guess you're welcome to hang around at my place."

"Hang around at your pla-… As if I'd do that!"

Suddenly the curtain was pulled aside and Reiji Shiratori (or whoever/whatever _that_ was) walked in brusquely, with a hasty expression. "Young master, it is time to go. Break's over!" As the half-demon boy scowled and groaned in protest, the other pushed past Ryuji to the couch and scooped him in his arms effortlessly, like a precious bundle.

"What the fuck?! Put me down, Astaroth!" Rin shouted, struggling a bit, but the King of Rot only tightened his grip, throwing the other teen a warning glare which clearly spelled 'He's mine', before nuzzling his prey's hair affectionately.

* * *

Contrary even to his own expectations, Ryuji waited in the smoke and empty beer cans-infested room backstage for another half an hour for Rin to finish his 'shift' for the night, while Shiemi had finished her rounds and gone home to deliver the day's collections. All the while, the Aria-in-training battled the confusing new feelings, trying to make some sense of the new situation and having his previous suspicions reinforced – that he would end up lured into whatever personal hell Okumura had sunk in and would end up fucking everything, beginning with his project. Because it was idiocy to think that the half-demon could actually help with something, he most likely wouldn't have been of much use on a good day, but like this… No way.

More like it, Kirigakure-sensei wanted _him_ to help his classmate, to pull him back to the surface. And Ryuji would have gladly wanted to do that too, if he had known how, if at least he would have had all the pieces of the puzzle… And aside from the fact that Okumura was almost a different person now, probably more difficult to handle than his old happy-and-obnoxious self, Ryuji was honestly clueless about dealing with pain. He didn't know how to comfort someone, not even himself.

* * *

Rin's place was relatively close to the club premises, on the fifth floor of a run-down apartment building, and it was, at a first glance, real shit (and even worse than that at a second glance). A simple wooden sliding panel separated a tiny bedroom from the main room, which was only furnished with a couch and a junk dining tall table with two seats, while a niche held the miniscule kitchen. The main room had one large window with stained, dirty glass and a worn rug which had seen better days. A dreadful mess reigned supreme all over the place, in the form of scattered laundry, half-full ashtrays and empty beer cans – Demon's Bane Beer, the brand everyone consumed in Middle Strip in impressive quantities – and the air was stale, reeking of smoke.

"So, uh… this is it," the half-demon boy said, shrugging, as he stumbled pulling off his boots in the doorway and motioned for Ryuji to walk right in. "It's Mephisto's, of course, he owns half the property in Middle Strip anyway… And I do clean up sometimes, heh… I promise to clean up all this shit by tomorrow. "

The taller teen advanced into the room and looked around, plagued by a bad feeling. This really wasn't a good work place, but he figured he could use the dining table for his books and files. By now it was nearly dawn and beyond the dirty glass of the window the sky was slowly turning a lighter shade – during daytime there should have been plenty of light.

"So, like I said, come hang around whenever you feel like it, study or whatever, " Rin said, scooping up Kuro in his arms, the tiny cat familiar purring and clawing contentedly at his shirt. "If you decide to stay overnight, you can have the couch and I'll get you a spare key. Okay?"

Ryuji scratched his head, a tad awkward about the whole arrangement. "But… are you sure you're okay with this? And, like… don't you get other visitors or something?"

"Ugh… no, not really, I normally go out when I have free time and I'm feeling well enough. Only Mephisto pops in every now and then to bug me about shit or just drop grocery, or if it's something really horrible that he cooked and wants to share. Fortunately, that doesn't happen often. I mean seriously, he invited me to dinner once and there was instant ramen (A/N – manga reference). I was rather grateful for it."

At the mention of cooking, Ryuji's eyes darted without intention towards the small kitchenette and he couldn't help noticing that the tabletop was covered in dust and the few utensils looked unused. And to think that Rin had absolutely _loved_ to cook before! He sighed, mouth pursing into an awkward grimace.

"Well, okay then. I guess… I'm gonna pick up a few things and then I'll be back in a day or two."

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – For those who haven't read the manga, yes, in the chapter in which Mephisto reveals his true identity to Rin, he invites him over for dinner - demanding that his little brother should wear a suit - then serves instant ramen. Pffftt…


	7. Numbing pain

**Numbing pain**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! I'm finally feeling inspired enough to bring you an update – I was having a bit of an internal debate about the course of things, but now it's sorted to a certain extent. So enjoy ;)

 _Warnings:_ mentions of drug use

* * *

Ryuji had been quite relieved that with everyone being presently overly focused with their own individual projects, Shima and Konekomaru hadn't asked him any questions as he'd stuffed a few things in a backpack along with his extensive study material and the project files and had left the dorms.

Because no matter how he looked at it, _this_ was weird.

Earlier in the day he'd briefly caught Okumura-sensei giving him an odd glance, barely with the corner of his eye, but the young teacher had said nothing (unsurprising though, considering he hadn't said more than a few laconic, emotionless words about his brother since the beginning of the year). Ryuji couldn't figure out if this was because of the Vatican's ban or because the twins had had a particularly nasty fallout in the aftermath of Rin's test, but then again it was none of his business. They were family and he had no right to poke around or be partial to any of them.

That mystery and shit aside, the Aria-in-training found the thought of living in Middle Strip, even for a very short while, deeply unsettling. He didn't think this supposed 'free-zone' was safe, it didn't _feel_ safe, both the pervasive atmosphere of debauchery and the number of humans indulging in it were distressful to say the least and there was also the 'minor' issue of Reiji Shiratori, who was possessed by the demon Astaroth. No, Middle Strip was a legitimate hellhole and only a fool could believe otherwise.

The gloomy, cracked concrete-paved streets looked more desolate in the light of the setting sun, showing their full ugliness. They were also fairly empty – since it was much too early for any parties – but the exwire didn't waste any time looking around as he walked hurriedly, discovering with some relief that finding his way back to Rin's block was quite easy.

After a quick, breathless climb up a pitch-dark staircase, he made use of the spare key Moriyama had given him during lunch and let himself inside the tiny apartment, forewarned that his owner might very well not be at home at that hour. With a sigh, Ryuji closed the door in his wake, grateful that he'd met no one on his way up, even if peculiar noises could be heard behind some of the doors he'd passed. He took off his boots in the doorway and proceeded into the main room – which he found to be strikingly clean and free of clutter. Kuro was curled up casually in the middle of the dining table and lifted his head in alert, but the large golden eyes quickly dulling in recognition upon ascertaining who the visitor was.

"Hey, Kuro-" the teen dropped his backpack and reached out to pet the tiny cat, hand pausing in midair upon discovering its master.

Rin was sitting onto the sill of large window which was now wide open, back propped against the frame, knees pulled up to his chest and tail hanging limply over the edge, next to an ashtray in which a half-smoked cigarette had long gone cold. He was fast asleep.

"Shit…" the other boy grumbled. It was already a miracle that the half-demon hadn't toppled over and dropped out of the window in his slumber, but if he woke up brusquely now this could very well happen. Ryuji walked quietly to the window and inwardly debated whether or not he should just reach and pull his classmate down. But it was already odd that Rin's demon instincts hadn't alerted him of the other's presence - and any hasty approach could cause a violent reaction.

"Okumura," he called softly.

The half-demon boy shifted slightly and sighed, but did not wake. "I… cleaned…" he breathed out, like an afterthought.

Damn it. "Come on, it's better if you sleep in your bed," the Aria-in-training tried again, reaching for the smaller teen's shoulder reluctantly. But maybe because of his very fear his hand missed its target, open palm being instead pressed onto the bare expanse of skin at the crook of Rin's neck.

The sudden foreign warmth finally did the trick, large blue eyes fluttering open and proceeding to fix him with unadulterated horror. Ryuji felt the half-demon boy growing stiff under his touch and suddenly he feared the worst.

"It's me! Okumura, it's okay, it's me!" he cried, withdrawing his hand as if burned and holding his palms up as he stepped backwards quickly. "J-Just be careful! Don't drop from there, okay?!"

Rin blinked sleepily, seeming to relax and moved to slip off his perch – fortunately on the right side – tumbling on the floor in an undignified heap. "Ah, oww… shit," he mumbled.

"Uh, is this a bad time? Because if it is-"

"No, no… it's-… fine," the half-demon boy replied quickly, scrambling to his feet. He looked worn out. "I've got the night off. It's just…"

He watched Ryuji with an air of uncertainty and the Aria-in-training wondered (even if no beer cans were lying around this time) if his classmate hadn't been drinking. The thought was both saddening and repulsive and Rin seemed to guess it too, because he looked hesitant, as if he didn't dare say what he wanted to say.

"What is it?" the taller teen asked as gently as he could.

"Well, I… uh… have a problem with my back and sometimes if I don't take demon's bane powder it hurts really badly. I couldn't get any sleep last night." Rin delivered the explanation quickly and without meeting his friend's gaze, his embarrassment palpable. "Want some coffee?"

"Sure." Ryuji sat down into one of the hard chairs, while Kuro jumped off the table and trotted away, disappearing into the bedroom. "Um, I'm sorry you took the trouble to clean up for me, you didn't have to…" he said awkwardly, while Rin extracted a tin kettle from the cupboard and a bag of coffee.

 _Especially in his condition… But what the hell could have happened? Why isn't he healed by now?!_ The question burned on his lips, but asking seemed unfair in the circumstances, with a distinctive flavor of morbid curiosity. Surely Okumura wasn't in the mood to give any additional explanations. He dug into the backpack and pulled out the impressive pile of books and files, arranging them into a neat stack and doing his best to distract himself from the sight of the half-demon boy who was brewing coffee in front of the stove with his back turned, strips of pale flesh visible through the tears in his jeans. Because yet again he'd noticed – there was something different about the other teen, his demeanor lacking the childish air from before, there was something more distinctively feline in the way he moved, something infinitely graceful in his otherwise disturbing frailty.

"I, uh… need to ask you something," Ryuji began as a cup of steaming coffee was eventually placed in front of him and the refreshing aroma briefly mixed in his nostrils with a clean scent of cologne as Rin moved past him to sit at the table.

"Yeah?"

"So… what's the deal with Reiji Shiratori? I mean, he's possessed and considering the circumstances, this is kind of scary, you know?" He made a vague gesture with his hand.

The smaller teen nodded, pulling a snuffbox out of his pocket and pouring some orange powder into his own cup. "I know what you mean, but it didn't happen _here_. Astaroth possessed him back in Assiah a while ago, even before I got into Cram school, and it's been a kind of on-and-off thing. My old man exorcised him the first time, but the repossession was almost immediate." He shifted, drawing his knees up to his chest.

"What?! But how was that possible?!"

"Uh, Mephisto says that when someone's soul has… let's say… average purity and they are exorcised once, the demon can't take them back afterwards. But when someone is themselves already as bad as a demon, the exorcism will most likely fail or otherwise produce no lasting effects."

Ryuji scowled.

"I mean if you're already as bad as a demon, the 'cleansing' kind of has no point because whether it's you or the actual demon… it's the same shit, you know?"

 _Flawless logic…_ The Aria-in-training found some odd comfort in the fact that Okumura was saying the same stupidities as always – at least that hadn't changed – but he still wanted to reach over and smack him over the head.

"Still, Mephisto's got Astaroth under control," Rin went on, "which is more than can be said about Shiratori, who was always a nuisance on the loose… From this point of view, you could say that it's almost an improvement."

Ryuji stared absently into his cup, pondering. Obviously, what Rin was saying couldn't be by any means deemed acceptable, but at the end of the day he didn't really care about that thug and if Sir Pheles had things in check… What preoccupied him more at this point was the comfort Okumura seemed to be finding in Astaroth's presence and why, despite his improved abilities he still felt the need for the demon king's protection. Why, when he'd tried to throw himself head-on, alone and unaided into countless missions before, oblivious even to the most blatant dangers? He _was_ far more powerful than the King of Rot anyway.

"So, do you feel safe here?"

The half-demon boy shrugged. "I guess… I'm safer here that at the Academy, that's for sure, but… I don't know."

Ryuji said nothing. He shouldn't have asked. He didn't really need any more information, Okumura was terrified – with or without real reason – that much was plain to see. There was a dread he could not conceal and it had been obvious from the very first moment the Aria-in-training had laid eyes on him the night before.

"I know what you really want to ask me, Bon," Rin said softly, setting down his empty cup. Whatever drug he'd just taken had helped him relax a bit more, for his posture was slightly less tense now and he leaned back in his chair, breathing deeply. "But the Grigori put a curse on me so that even if I wanted to tell you what happened during my test, I still wouldn't be able to. If I opened my mouth nothing would come out, if I wanted to write it down my fingers wouldn't move… " He smiled bitterly. "I don't know why all that trouble, when it would have been far more merciful to make me forget about it. But I suppose they don't want me to forget."

The taller teen nodded slowly, swallowing a painful lump in his throat. "I know… I know you can't and you wouldn't want to talk about it. But we were worried about you, all this time. Everyone at Cram school was weird about it and all that stuff they told us sounded like bullshit, at least to me. I even thought-…"

"Bon…"

"I thought you were dead! I thought they'd executed you and were keeping it under wraps!"

Rin bit his lip, with an odd shadow of amusement. "That, no," he said. "Why? That would have been a clean thing and _killing a demon_ , well, killing demons is what the organization has been doing for centuries." He paused, that brief flicker melting into sadness. "I'm sorry, you're right. I know that you must have been worried about me and I'm sorry."

He needed to stop, now. The last thing his friend needed was to be bugged with incessant questions, it was enough that he was still suffering, still plagued by horrible memories he couldn't even let out. Ryuji's gaze shifted from the still half-full cup to the stack of materials, but found he couldn't focus on that either. It suddenly occurred to him that if he succeeded with the project, went on to take the exam and became a full-fledged exorcist, then there would be no way for him to come back here, because he had no demon blood, he wasn't even a wielder of a demon weapon, like Kirigakure-sensei. Just like the Paladin and the other teachers from Cram School, he would no longer be able to pass the threshold of Middle Strip and he would never again see Rin Okumura.

"Why don't you tell me about the project?" the half-demon boy asked. "I suppose it's the only way I can figure out what Shura wants me to help you with."

The taller teen mustered a small smile and nodded. He would do it, even though… He wanted to know the truth about Rin's test and the Grigori's intentions. He wanted to reach out, press his lips into Rin's hair and soothe him. He wanted to know what he was getting himself into, generally speaking.

"Bon, whatever it is you fear, it's much too early for that yet," his classmate said, out of the blue, and the keen perception behind that single phrase actually sent a shudder down Ryuji's spine.

 _It's much too early_ for me _, that's what he means… How does he know?_ What _does he know?_

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – I know I haven't gotten into it except for a little bit in the beginning, but the case Ryuji is working on as his project will be explained in full in later chapters, because it is relevant for the plot.


	8. Stuff of nightmares

**Stuff of nightmares**

A/N – Hello everyone! Guess what, I'm back with a new chapter and this one – be forewarned – it's quite dark and will probably creep you out to a great extent. And I know I shouldn't be doing this to poor Rin, I know I really, really shouldn't, it's not nice, but I can't help it.

 _Warnings:_ drug use, PTSD, dub-con (and more of Astaroth's creepiness)

* * *

It was one of those nights when the club was absolutely bursting with people and the party in full swing, but even so, in the middle of all that mess, Rin had spotted him. His never-failing intuition had send uncomfortable tingles across his skin way before the half-demon boy had actually laid eyes on his twin, but now it felt like he was trapped in a toxic, inescapable daze watching that sole figure who stood unmoved among the swaying crowd, displaying a cold, glaring sort of lucidity in the middle of the sea of lost souls. Yukio was watching him with an expression Rin was unable to figure out, unable to give any meaning to past his own paralyzing horror.

He wasn't safe here.

That was why he'd had that undefined hesitation when Bon had asked him – deep down he'd pretty much done the math himself – the exorcists were banned from Middle Strip, but the Grigori still had his brother - their ever loyal servant. Yukio was a demon too so he _could_ come down here and if it came to it Rin knew that he couldn't fight him, not even in self defense. And it was obvious why Yukio was here now – his time was up. The Vatican may have allowed him some time on his own, away from their ever-watchful eyes, a bit of relief to recover, but it was over. They wanted answers and they were set to get them out of him, the hard way.

Yukio was here undoubtedly to 'talk some sense' into him, to make sure he'd submit to another interrogation willingly. The older twin had clearly been a fool to think that he could just drop out of Cram school and give up the whole exorcist thing. To think he would ever actually _be allowed_ to – no, it was this or execution, the Vatican was going to make sure of it!

"Young master? Are you alright?"

Rin realized he'd stumbled backstage and just stood in the middle of the room shaking, with a blank stare, the fingers of his right hand clamped tightly over his mouth. He hadn't even noticed how deep his nails had dug into his cheek until Astaroth reached out and pulled his hand away from his face.

"C-Close the door! Don't let anyone in!" The brunet pulled away, hands fisting helplessly in his hair. "Where the hell is Mephisto?! I-I thought he'd be here! You said-"

"Master Samael will be here a bit later," Astaroth replied, puzzled. "But what happened? Are you unwell again?"

Rin shook his head. "My brother is-… I saw him out there!" He motioned hastily towards the door. "I don't want to see him… Just-… just get me out of here, okay? Just… somewhere he wouldn't find me!"

The King of Rot smirked and licked his lips briefly, nodding with an odd gleam in his eye and normally Rin should have known better than to trust him, but this time there was something worse than anything Astaroth could come up with, he figured. He picked up his denim jacket and followed the other teen through a back exit.

* * *

Ryuji stopped dead in his tracks, breath hitching in his throat upon noticing the dark figure crouched on the stairs in front of Rin's apartment door. He'd spent quite the frustrating and unproductive day in the library doing some more research for the blasted project, in the same time quite worried about his classmate and now this!

Who the hell was that?! In the semi-obscurity he couldn't tell who the person was – if it was indeed _a person_ – and he was at a complete loss as to what to do. He'd been just lucky the other day not running into anyone, but now his luck had run out. If it was a demon, would it show foul intent? Was he supposed to fight it?! He wasn't armed either!

"He's not here," the figure said, stirring at last and scrambling to its feet, just as the Aria-in-training was considering turning tail and making a hasty retreat. To his further horror, Ryuji realized, upon recognizing the voice, that it was Okumura-sensei.

Now he was fucked.

Damn, he'd known all along that this would happen, he'd just known it! Kirigakure-sensei had made him bend the rules, because he wasn't supposed to be here, and the younger teacher would surely think that he'd come to have fun in the demons' realm just like the other crazy kids, he, an exwire! How shameful! But maybe he could explain-

"I don't think he'll be coming back anytime soon," Yukio said, descending a few steps slowly. All of his usual composed self-assuredness was gone, he seemed baffled and lost, for once his still childish features showing his real age.

"He's working tonight," Ryuji offered awkwardly.

The younger twin nodded. "I know, I've been there… at that club or whatever. I just wanted to see how he was, but then he saw me and ran off. Looks like I scared him." He looked up at the student quizzically, as if trying to gauge his thoughts. "How much do you know?"

Right. He wasn't even _supposed to know_ , let alone be here.

The Aria-in-training shifted on his feet, crossing his arms in an unconsciously defensive gesture over the schoolbag strap. "Not much… just what Kirigakure-sensei told me. She thought it would be a good idea if I… um… if I came around to visit. But I haven't asked anything else and I haven't told anyone else!"

Yukio didn't seem to hear that last part, or be really interested in Ryuji's reply. "He doesn't want to talk to me. I messed it up and now I think… I think he hates me." He paused, shaking his head. "He won't even let me explain anything, just jumped to the worst conclusions, as if-…" Yukio broke off again, licking and biting his bottom lip absently. "…as if he'd always been suspecting me of the worst and now I've confirmed it."

"No, no! Sensei, he never said anything like that! Look, he's just scared, I don't know of what because he wouldn't tell me, but I'm sure he doesn't hate you! "

The teacher nodded, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets awkwardly. "Ryuji, if you can, tell him I just want to talk. I'm not trying to get my hands on him or whatever he must have imagined tonight."

Before Ryuji could say anything in reply, Okumura-sensei brushed past him without a glance back and went down the steps, disappearing from view, leaving the taller teen confused and frozen in his spot. Normally he should have been simply relieved that the teacher hadn't made a fuss about him being where he wasn't supposed to be, but now the very opposite occurrence prompted the thought that something was very wrong here, far worse than he'd thought. The younger twin even admitted to having a certain guilt – he'd said he'd messed up – and… why would Rin think that his brother was trying to get his hands on him?!

Ryuji knew that he would need to get some clear answers soon, because if he was eventually brought to doubt everything he'd believed in until now… just where would that leave him?

* * *

Astaroth brushed aside the beaded curtain, a small room draped in blue-and-purple silk wallpaper coming into view. Several colorful globe lamps floated near the ceiling, casting moving shadows all around, and the only furniture consisted of a low coffee table and a bed right behind it, comfortably settled in a sort of niche in the wall.

Rin looked around warily, thinking that the place was definitely odd and that probably Mephisto was going to be angry upon discovering that he'd come here. The King of Rot had mentioned something he hadn't really been paying attention to, something about nymphs, and while he didn't remember anything from his school lessons about these creatures, his older brother seemed to have more than a little disdain for them.

"You should go lie down, young master," the lavender-haired teen suggested, motioning towards the bed. "You're still shaking."

Rin was rather circumspect about it, but the mattress turned out to be particularly soft and inviting the moment he eased himself down onto it, so he gave in to the temptation to stretch fully.

"There, soft, isn't it?" the King of Rot said. "I'll help you feel better in no time. They serve something special here, much stronger than the regular powders, a nightshade potion. Not much advertised though because... well, I supposed it's not for the faint of heart," Astaroth went on muttering, more to himself and a brief smirk making itself present on his lips.

The half-demon boy closed his eyes, ears involuntarily trained on the unintelligible murmur coming from other rooms as he helplessly tried to shake off the mental image of his brother standing in the crowd, fixing him with that cold, well-known determination. The beads of the curtain rattled softly as someone came in and there was a vague clattering sound as something was laid down on the table. Astaroth sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to brush the blue-and-black bangs off the teen's forehead, prompting him to open his eyes again.

Rin turned his head and saw a tray with a small glass cylinder on it, which was filled with a dark purple liquid and had a pump and needle attached to its ends. He couldn't help a scowl, especially at the sight of the needle.

"Does that… hurt?"

"Only a little bit, but it's worth it. So?"

The brunet nodded, closing his eyes again and letting his head fall back against the mattress. Astaroth leaned over the boy and carefully took his left arm, pressing the needle into his vein. A sharp pain shot up Rin's arm, almost drawing out a cry, but it was gone in an instant and he could feel the drug mingling with his blood and spreading through his whole body like a sweet poison. Numbness took over his limbs and the half-demon boy almost felt like he was sinking into the mattress.

Rin blacked out completely for a couple of minutes, but when he came back to his senses, everything had become a weird blur, from the diffuse light of the colored lamps to Astaroth's face hovering above his curiously. His shoulders felt painfully strained and he soon discovered why - his arms had been pinned above his head and tied up with a thick rope-… no, it was Astaroth's tail! He tried to struggle, but all strength had left his body, the flames could not be mustered, for some unfathomable reason he was completely helpless.

"W-What… is going on…?" The brunet could barely find enough strength to speak.

The King of Rot's sharp-toothed mouth twisted into a grotesque, predatory grin. "What's going on, young master, is that you're in a bit of trouble right now," he replied slyly. "See, you may be a demon prince, but you have also caused more than a bit of mischief while in the exorcist school and it's a common opinion that you're in need of some punishment as it is. And we have been for a very long time wanting you…"

Rin gulped, seized by horror at the sudden memory of Astaroth trying to burn him with a red iron right before his awakening. He'd never again felt as helpless as when those thugs were holding him - the sensations accurately imprinted in his memory down to the pressure of that fat guy sitting right onto his spine.

Until now.

"Y-You wouldn't dare… M-Mephisto will-"

A clawed hand stroked the side of Rin's cheek ever-so-gently, in mockery. "Master Samael isn't here now, he can't help you," the lavender-haired demon informed him, still smiling. "No one can help you."

The only thing the teen could do was to turn his head and avoid Astaroth's mouth touching his own, but only witnessed numbly as the demon king's claws tore away his t-shirt and grazed the bare skin of his torso teasingly, careful not to draw any blood.

Yet.

"D-Don't-…" Rin whispered, cringing, but he knew that it was no use to beg, not the King of Rot.

"Don't worry, young master, it will be more of a punishment for your pure little soul, but your body will enjoy it. Your sweet, tender flesh will finally be able to forget the _other's_ touch…" Astaroth rubbed his thumb over the half-demon boy's belly button piercing, pink eyes raking over the exposed skin appreciatively. "I will fuck _him_ out of you, I promise."

He shifted on top of the boy, his tail surprisingly releasing Rin's wrists, but all it did was to allow his arms a more comfortable position. His prey could still barely move - having nowhere near enough strength to push him away - and above all Rin still couldn't believe this was happening, it was beyond comprehension why Astaroth thought he could get away with it, how-

His train of thought was cut short when the demon king leaned down abruptly, sinking his teeth deep into the side of the teen's neck with a beastly growl. Rin cried out, fingers clutching helplessly at the other's biceps and the blinding pain effectively distracting him as the jeans were literally clawed off his hips and Astaroth pushed himself between his thighs. A different sort of pain - yet equally excruciating - shot through his body a few moments later, knocking the air out of his lungs. But to his complete shock it was soon replaced by pulsing waves of sinful pleasure, rapidly coiling in the pit of his stomach, forcing shameless moans out of his mouth as he simply laid there, slightly arching his back off the mattress and just… allowing himself to be taken.

The half-demon boy shuddered in the absolute horror that he'd actually ended up _liking_ this, as if it was the badly needed relief from all the tension, from all the mind-numbing fear he'd been living in lately. But had he indeed sunk so low, had his mind and spirit really gotten so tainted, corrupted and filthy?!

"Wake up!"

The image of the lavender-haired demon moving on top of him mysteriously dissolved in complete darkness, after which Rin brusquely woke up to a stinging slap having been delivered to his face. Now Mephisto was leaning over him with an angry expression, eyebrows raised in a mute, indignant question. He quickly touched his reddened cheek, then the side of his neck where there was not even the slightest trace of a bite. His clothes were intact as well and he saw the King of Rot sitting cross-legged and relaxed at the other end of the bed, leafing through a magazine.

"W-Wha-…"

"Awww, master Samael, you're a killjoy," Astaroth observed with a trace of amusement.

"Don't even let me start on _you_!" Mephisto snapped, turning briefly to shove a gloved finger under his nose before turning back to face his little brother. "What the hell are you doing here?! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, taking nymphs' potions now?! Did I not tell you that you're not allowed to wander around like that?! You're _fifteen_ , for fuck's sake!" he yelled.

Rin squeezed his eyes shut, fingers pressing on his forehead. He could feel both his cheeks burning now with embarrassment, his body was still experiencing an odd tingling after the much-too-real dream and he had no idea what Mephisto was nagging about. What nymphs? It was somewhat of a relief that _that_ had been just a dream, but the satisfied smirk plastered on Astaroth's face told him that the demon king must have clearly had something to do with it. And that bastard Shiratori must have been thrilled to see him like that! He suddenly scowled and pushed himself down the bed, kicking his boot into the lavender-haired teen's side as hard as he could.

"Young master, why do you hit me?!" Astaroth yelped in surprise, feigning innocence.

Rin kicked him again, furiously. "What do you mean, you know why, you f-… You fucking bastard!"

"Enough! That's enough, would you stop squirming already!" Mephisto intervened, his cool, this time gloveless hand pressing onto Rin's sweaty forehead. "Look at the state of you! What the hell happened, anyway? Why didn't you wait for me?"

"You can't protect me!" his little brother cried, without much thought. "I saw Yukio back at the club tonight, he must… he must have come for me! You told me you would keep me safe from the Vatican, but the truth is you can't control them!"

The King of Time narrowed his gaze at the remark, yet appeared thoughtful. Rin couldn't read anything encouraging in his eyes, he just felt defeated and exhausted.

"Perhaps…" Mephisto said at last,"…I have been a little too permissive with them as of late."

 _ **To be continued**_


	9. Only tears

**Only tears**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! Time for a new chapter of this disturbing little tale and again, I want to thank you guys for all your amazing feedback and support you're constantly offering to this fic. It really means a lot to me to see people enjoying the weird crap my muses (… demons?) come up with!

Also, I must confess to realizing that I've made a mistake in the previous chapter – Mephisto points out that Rin is fifteen, but since this is more than a year after the events in the anime, it should be assumed that he's at least sixteen now. Well, we'll just write it off as one of Meph's goofs, after all he may be the King of Time, but for someone who has lived for hundreds of years such a minor inaccuracy must have been irrelevant. Just saying… XD.

 _Warnings:_ mentions of PTSD

* * *

Leaning against the doorframe, Shura silently observed the awkward, rigid tension of the boy's shoulders as he fired shot after shot with disturbing precision, never missing the target once, yet that very precision appearing to frustrate him as his lips were pressed into a tight line and his jaw was clenching more and more. And she simply stood there, waiting for him to blow up (it was coming, no one, not even _he_ had that much cold self-restraint)… because Shiro had dragged her into this and she'd grown weirdly attached to the twins, to the point she'd fleetingly wondered what it would have been like if they'd been her own kids. It had been one of the very few moments Shura had actually contemplated motherhood and the conclusion had not been particularly positive – she'd probably be kicking both their asses constantly, albeit for different reasons.

"You could have told me!" Yukio stated brusquely, eyes still trained on what was left of the painted cardboard ahead even if his arms had now dropped at his sides, the heavy breathing through the nose a clear indication of the anger he was struggling to keep out of his voice. "You could have told me that my brother hates me!"

He went and sat down on a bench, pulling out a cleaning cloth out of his pocket and the redhead watched numbly as he began dismantling his guns with meticulous, apparently calm gestures.

"When you said he wouldn't talk to me and he doesn't want me to call I assumed that he is just upset with me! And he has the right to be, I've been inadvertently… minimizing, discounting the impact of what happened, but no. Tonight I went down there, trying to make up for my wrongs, but when he saw me… That look on his face, it was-… I've never, ever seen him like this! It was a look of absolute horror, like I was the worst thing he'd ever laid eyes on!"

"I only suggested that you go there to see for yourself how he is, not to try talk to him – I think I was very clear about that last part," Shura pointed. "Also, he never said to me that he hates you, but don't you think it's a little unreasonable to expect him to be _just upset_ after what he's been through? Besides, he is afraid of you precisely because he could never fight you, he could never hurt you! Do you think he'd have any qualms about that if he really hated you?"

She saw his lips pressed tighter and noticed the sharp intake of air even as he struggled to carry on with his work. He only paused briefly to adjust his spectacles.

"I know you both think I'm one of the villains here," he said coldly. "You think I wanted this to happen. You think I approved of it. You think the Grigori did this on purpose!"

Hah!… How did one tame a wild animal? They broke its will, its spirit, let the beast know who the master was, who wielded the whip.

"Just because I took part in the test, yes, it's true that I shot him, but I've shot him before and all he felt was a prick and his wound always healed almost instantly, how could it possibly occur to me that he'd almost bleed to death this time?! Nobody imagined he'd be given a Mortal Instrument wound of all things, not when they'd been banned for centuries! And the… the _other thing_ … how can you possibly think the Grigori would want this?! That they would agree to this?!"

Shura sighed.

"You know scaredy-cat four eyes, it's sort of pointless to try so hard to act like a perfectly composed old fart all the time if you don't have the balls to look the shit in the eye and acknowledge it for what it really is. It's not exactly a sign of maturity… Which is not surprising to me, since at the end of the day you too are still a child. You don't understand shit about politics, do you?"

Yukio halted his movements, finally looking up at her, eyes filled with a mixture of anger and confusion and something else – tears, dangerously threatening to spill. How the hell had the organization ensnared his mind to such extent? She clearly remembered that Shiro had expressly waited for her to be 'old enough to take care of herself ' before offering her a job and even then he'd warned that because she had some demon blood in her veins she should carefully watch her back, just in case. Could he not have warned the boy in the same manner?

"Look, scaredy, they're only concerned about this incident because someone has broken the ban on Mortal Instruments use and also because if the _other_ story comes out it will reflect badly on them, all the more since the perpetrator might be a teacher at the Cram school and so other kids might be in harm's way. But make no mistake in thinking it's more than that."

God, she needed a drink. Yukio was bound to be stubborn about accepting the facts and Shura had to some extent dreaded this conversation all day, knowing it would happen. She was annoyed by his blind loyalty to the Grigori, but in the same time she found herself loathing the idea of planting doubt in his head, sensing that the younger twin was the 'all-or-nothing' kind of person, not to mention he was still a kid, sure, he was brilliant but much too fucking _young_ to cope with this kind of shit…

"It's not true." Yukio said eventually, resuming his work. "You're just angry. I know you care about my brother and you need someone to blame for what happened to him, I understand that you need some certainty. But so do I, okay? I too need to know who's responsible. But we're looking for them, the Order is looking for them!" Now he just sounded annoyed, and the cold self-assuredness she could perceive behind that annoyance managed to get on the redhead's nerves.

"Right," she said peeling herself away from the doorframe at last and digging up in her messenger bag. Maybe this was useless too, but… "Guess what, when I was digging up in the archive to put up a project for my assigned student, I stumbled onto this case from roughly one hundred and fifty years ago. It's quite interesting, but I didn't think it's something an Exwire should read, seeing how perhaps the Order might not have undergone that much progress in the meantime. See for yourself."

Shura set the copied file down at the end of the bench and walked away, deciding she'd wasted her breath enough.

Long after the sound of her footsteps had faded in the hallway outside, Yukio set his now properly cleaned guns aside and skeptically reached for the file she'd left him. He almost didn't want to open it. While he would inwardly accept and even deeply resent his own shortcomings in the matter, this open, blatant rebellion the inspector had been displaying as of late was upsetting him.

The file contained a rather straightforward case of the demonic possession of a twelve-year old girl, the apprentice of a seamstress, the treatment of whom had lasted almost a year, during which time she'd been, predictably, imprisoned in the dungeons. Since the demon was violent, the girl had been kept strapped to a metal table for most of that time, but in the end, the exorcism had been a success and upon recovery she'd been sent home to her parents, able to live a normal life again.

Or not.

Yukio had flipped through the pages describing the lengthy cleansing process rather bored and failing to see the point of it, at least until he'd reached the final section containing the 'patient's' medical records - during the time of her containment, she had suffered two miscarriages, but without any cause of concern, since there had been no indication of demon impregnation in neither case. Below, a footnote mentioned that there had been no follow-up from the Order's disciplinary committee on this occurrence, having been previously decreed that once a human person's body fell into demonic possession, it was by default stripped of the respective human person's rights and liberties.

That was to say… a _non-human_ person could be freely abused however the Order saw fit.

* * *

Ryuji woke up abruptly, nearly slipping off the narrow sofa he'd fallen asleep on, with Kuro curled up at his feet. After a long day of fruitless work and the more than awkward encounter with Okumura-sensei, he'd eventually succumbed to a fitful sleep, wondering when and _if_ Rin would come back to the apartment. Worry gnawed at him even as he tried not to give too much thought to what was going on between the twins – the younger's request making him feel beyond uncomfortable since it was obvious that Rin was in a delicate mood and the last thing he wanted was to upset him any further.

And now… sitting up in the dark, he'd heard some rustling sounds coming from the small bedroom at first, but then they'd ceased and he could only pick up something like a faint murmur, without being able to make out any actual words. Ryuji remained perfectly still for some time, even after the cat familiar had jumped down from his spot and gone in search of his master, debating what to do as the sounds continued. Eventually he stood up cautiously, nearly cringing when the sofa creaked, relieved of his weight, and inched closer towards the bedroom.

Normally, he wouldn't have thought of intruding his classmate's privacy under any circumstances, all the more since Okumura wasn't used to sharing sleeping quarters, aside from his brother. But now…

The shoji door was open all the way and the Aria-in-training saw it as an indication that it was sort of okay to peek in. Rin was on his knees on the futon, facing away from the door, his hands clasped tightly in front of his chest and Ryuji realized that he was praying, as if in a trance, while the almost unintelligible string of words was broken by hitching, sharp intakes of breath every now and then. He was shaking visibly.

For some reason the sight was bone chilling and the older teen's first impulse was to step back - momentarily at a loss as to what to do - but his movement was halted mid-way upon catching Kuro's gaze. There was a silent, helpless plea in the large golden orbs as the cat's small body was pressed flat against his master's thigh, yet unable to do anything to soothe his torment.

Taking a deep breath, Ryuji cleared his throat out loud, while gripping the wooden frame of the shoji for dear life, but there was no indication of having been heard, no acknowledgement of his presence whatsoever. Left without choice, he took the few left steps forward, hoping with all his heart that this would not go horribly wrong.

"Okumura! Stop it!" the taller teen shouted, kneeling behind his classmate and wrapping his arms around his fragile frame tightly, cheek involuntarily pressed in the other's hair. "Stop it! Snap out of it!"

Rin went quiet brusquely, his body growing instantly stiff in the foreign arms holding him and after a moment of dead silence a low, feral growl erupted from his throat. His ears elongated sharply and even if his hands had dropped limply at his sides, the Aria saw the fingers extending into long, beastly claws.

 _Oh God! God, don't let me burst into flames! God! God, please!_

"I-It's me! It's me, Suguro!" The growl grew louder, accompanied by a menacing hiss and Ryuji was certain he was living his last moments, even as his hand moved up and cupped the side of the half-demon's face, turning his head to the side. "Rin! It's me! Rin, please-…"

Some sniffing followed his action even as his thumb continued to awkwardly stroke the other's cheek and the beastly sounds gradually subsided, in the end melting into a helpless whimper as the smaller teen shifted slowly and turned to face Ryuji, wrapping his arms around his neck in turn. And then he burst into tears, nose buried into his friend's shoulder, an almost childish, desperate, heart-wrenching crying and the Aria-in-training felt completely at a loss, this was much, much worse than anything else. Somehow, claws and teeth and even flames he'd seen before, but this…

The only thing he could do was to hold the half-demon boy in his arms, his hand rubbing his back soothingly in a slow, gentle motion, up and down, up and down, until… Ryuji's fingers inadvertently reached down too low - where Rin's shirt had ridden up as he'd stretched – and encountered _something_ marring the smoothness of the skin, something which shouldn't have been there… a scar. His fingertips explored it with a will of their own as his brain momentarily ceased to work, frozen in horror, tracing first a horizontal and then a vertical line, the latter running right along Rin's spine, so deep that it felt like a dent in the bone.

It was a cross, the Aria realized. _A cross… The True Cross Order._

"Did they do this to you?!" His voice was coarse, broken, sounding almost foreign to his own ears. "Did the Order do this to you?!"

In reply Rin pressed closer, holding tighter as he continued to cry and tremble. "I…I c-can't… can't… " he mumbled weakly, unable to draw as much as a proper breath through the violent sobbing.

"Shhh… It's okay… It's okay, I'm here," Ryuji said, stroking the half-demon's hair now, ever-so-gently, his other arm still draped firmly around his shaking shoulders. He had no idea what to do more than that and his knees were beginning to hurt. "Are you in pain?"

Rin shook his head.

"C'mon, it's late… You should get some sleep now," the Aria-in-training said, reaching past the smaller teen's frame to pull at the bed sheets.

His classmate sniffed, finally loosening his grip on Ryuji's body as he relaxed a bit. "Please… stay with me," he whispered.

 _ **To be continued**_


	10. Some little truths 1

**Some little truths 1**

A/N – Hello everyone! I didn't check when it was the last update for this fic, but it does feel like a long time. During my relatively short vacation I tried to put down a chaps summary/plan and failed miserably, I still don't know how things will eventually end, but that also means I cannot give you any accidental spoilers :) Also, thank you all so much for the support you're always giving me, it really means a lot! All that being said, enjoy the new chap! (and yeah, after some research I finally got it, it's 'Ryuuji'… Okay ;))

* * *

At the break of dawn Ryuuji woke up again and needed a few moments to figure out where he was, the dark bedroom and the futon he was lying on completely unfamiliar. He'd had a bad dream, one he could not remember but which had left an unpleasant tingling in his muscles, as if he'd been tense for much too long and hadn't really gotten any rest, he was tired and dazed and only upon hearing a soft, steady breath right next to him on the pillow did the Aria fully recall the previous night's events.

And what he recalled hardly made things any better.

Good God, that _wound_! It had felt gruesome under his fingers and so deeply carved into flesh and bone, no wonder the half-demon was in so much pain every so often, his spine was damaged! But what kind of wound could it have been, that demonic powers wouldn't heal, not even after all this time?!

Rin was almost curled up against him – he must have rolled over in his sleep and Ryuuji felt something wrapped around his waist under the blanket. He nearly flinched when upon touching it encountered not his classmate's arm as he'd suspected but… his tail. The older teen felt instantly apprehensive – not only it was the first time they'd been _this close_ but also he'd never before touched the half-demon boy's tail. Still, he gently took hold of the sensitive appendage and delicately freed himself from its grasp. The short black fur was a bit coarse but still softer than he'd imagined, it was rather pleasant to the touch and Ryuuji gave it an absent stroke along the length as he set it down carefully between their bodies while observing his friend's face. At least while he slept Rin looked a bit more peaceful, even if his cheeks were still tearstained. He'd probably showered earlier because the electric blue dye had been washed out of his hair, restoring the full blackness of the soft, luscious bangs and the Aria couldn't hold back the impulse to brush them away from the pale face.

The smaller teen sighed softly and shifted a bit and Ryuuji drew back, suddenly grasping the full awkwardness of the situation. What if Okumura had woken up when he was touching his hair? Or his tail, good God! It hadn't been a soothing, innocent touch either - the Aria thought with a pang of guilt - there was that odd, _wrong_ feeling again, he'd wanted… to run his fingertips over the delicate nose piercing, over the pointy shell of Rin's ear and its silver decorations, then again into those soft, silk-like strands…

Ryuuji sat up, carefully crept out of the futon and out of the bedroom - his light steps passing by a sleeping Kuro - and only back in the living-room he stopped, resting his forehead against the cold, naked wall. He was utterly confused by these new emotions with no reasonable explanation.

What had changed?

Rin Okumura was still the same person he'd always been under the now crumbled layer of toughness, but… something was different, even if he couldn't pinpoint it. For sure, there had always been some oddities about his half-demon classmate, but when had he become _temptation_? _No! No! No!_ And again guilt tore at him, because Rin was in that awful state, he was alone and frightened and broken and Ryuuji had no right to-

A sudden knock at the door pulled the Aria abruptly from his thoughts and for a long moment he just stood there, puzzled and fearful. His first thought was that Okumura-sensei had returned, determined to see his brother this time, and Ryuuji decided that that would have been terrible. He couldn't let him in! He'd only promised to convey a message, but if Rin didn't want to see him… and then there was that horrible wound, inflicted by the Order and which the Aria simply couldn't stop thinking about.

"It's me, just open up already, human! I know you're in there, gaping at the door!" croaked a thin, unfamiliar voice, followed by some unintelligible grumbling out of which Ryuuji could only make out the word 'Beelzebub'.

A demon then. But nobody would try anything against him while Rin was there, right? Following that (not necessarily correct) reasoning, the teen moved to unlock and open the door, discovering a petite demon familiar strikingly resembling Ukobach standing on the threshold with an irritated expression on his small, colorful face.

"Make sure the young master eats, says master Samael. Thin as a handful of bones, ain't he these days…" the demon stated frowning and thrust an elaborate wicker basket into Ryuuji's hands, after which he swiftly turned on his heels and walked away without another word, before the boy could even thank him.

One of Sir Pheles's house familiars then, he thought carrying the heavy basket into the kitchen area and carefully setting it on the counter. It was true, the Aria realized with another pang of dismay – for only when he'd held his friend in his arms the night before had he realized just how much lighter the half-demon had become and no wonder, the kitchen looked unused and he probably wasn't eating enough as it was, even with Sir Pheles sending in regular supplies.

Inside the basket there was a fancy, handwritten note with preparation instructions and Ryuuji mindlessly pulled out a bunch of vegetables and a few dubious ingredients in separate plastic containers, deciding on the spot to prepare something for when Rin woke up. It was the least he could do after the failed soothing attempt – only in that moment he'd been so shocked and instantly angry at the discovery, that no single decent word of encouragement had come out of his mouth.

Rummaging through the drawers, the teen found a decent chopping knife and a cutting board, a proper pot and a spoon big enough to mix in it, and turned on the stove in the semi-obscurity, not wanting to disturb his still sleeping classmate with the lights. There would be day soon enough anyway, the dark-blue sky was already lighting up beyond the window he'd opened widely to let in some fresh air. A sharp chill also came in with it and Ryuuji shivered a bit in the light, badly creased t-shirt he was currently wearing along with his jeans, the feel of the clothes all the more uncomfortable since he'd been sleeping in them. Uncharacteristically though, he now dismissed the need to shower and change into fresh clothes as he moved about with mechanical movements, barely paying any attention to what he was doing.

* * *

Still half-asleep, Rin rolled between the sheets instinctively seeking the additional warmth which had now left them, and groaned softly in disappointment upon discovering it was gone. His ears faintly picked up a distant voice, then more silence, then something like… clattering of pots? His head felt heavy, almost glued to the pillow and he struggled to remember how he'd ended up this dizzy, because it did feel slightly worse than usual.

There had been something with a nightshade potion, then Astaroth… no, Yukio! Yukio had come after him at the club and after that had been the potion and then _that_ thing and Mephisto had said something he couldn't remember… In fact, he couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten home at all, just throwing off his clothes and stumbling numbly in the shower, then… Rin sat up brusquely, feeling a cold shudder down his spine.

Bon.

Bon had been there when he… he'd released his demon side. He'd completely lost it. Fear. Pain. A deep, visceral fear he couldn't shake off. And then, sudden warmth, comfort.

He hadn't hurt Bon, had he?! Nails dug helplessly into his forehead as the half-demon sobbed out loud, struggling to breathe through the brusque wave of panic. No, he hadn't, _he wouldn't_! But still, the bed was empty, so had he dreamed about…?

Momentarily, the only thing he could be certain of was – by the smell of it - that in the other room someone was cooking something abysmal.

* * *

Indeed, the positively poisonous fumes his sensitive nose had caught earlier came from a pot placed on the stove, while Ryuuji was still chopping some stuff on the tabletop, a deep frown etched into his forehead as he concentrated on the task.

A loud, whiny mewl from a dismayed Kuro finally made the older teen look up from what he was doing and discover Rin peering cautiously at the scene from behind the half-opened shoji.

"Oh… Did I wake you? Sir Pheles sent some stuff and I thought I'd make you something," Ryuuji explained quickly, motioning to the pot. "He said you must eat."

Bon seemed wary of him for some reason and for a moment Rin again feared the worst, then it suddenly came back to him in a flash – the previous night Bon had discovered his wound and had asked about it! But what had _he_ said?! Nothing, nothing, it wasn't like he _could_ have said anything…

"Hey… are you okay?" Ryuuji asked, in a softer tone, seeing the half-demon gulp visibly and looking scared.

"Yeah, I… uh, thanks for that. I just…" Rin trailed off, advancing into the room. "I mean last night was… I-I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that, I just… wasn't feeling too well and stuff…"

The Aria scowled again, feeling that he was getting worked up again. What the hell was _he_ apologizing for?! "It's nothing," he grumbled. "I just put that to heat up as per Sir Pheles's instructions and I thought of making a side dish with the rest… I was angry and needed to do something with myself! Why didn't you tell me, damn it?!"

Rin didn't answer, instead he padded over to the stove and lifted the lid off the pot. In the next moment Ryuuji saw him paling visibly.

"What?"

The half-demon blinked slowly, eyes trained on the pot's contents. "Uh… this looks like… someone's entrails and p-…private parts, all thrown together in a puddle of gore," he said.

"It's gaebul fish in tomato sauce," the older teen offered dryly, holding up the instructions note. "And it smells quite nice to me."

Rin continued to stare in disbelief. "It doesn't look like a fish…" he muttered under his breath, while his fingers rose to pinch his nose discreetly.

"It's a fish!" Ryuuji insisted sternly. "Look, Sir Pheles wrote: 'you must eat well and especially the fish. It's good for vigor.'"

The smaller teen nodded slowly, pursing his mouth in a funny way, then rolled his eyes. "That shithead clown! I must have annoyed him or something and he decided to embarrass me. Jeez! Why would I-…?" he trailed off, burying his face in his hands for a moment. "Right… moving past the ge-gaebul _fish_ , or whatever the hell this is, um… did you… I mean, why were you angry?"

"How can you ask me that?!"

Rin worried his bottom lip, lowering his gaze and rolling on the balls of his feet as if he wanted to take a step backwards, and the Aria instantly regretted raising his voice.

"D-Did I… do something? Last night, did I-…" Ryuuji didn't answer, staring him down with an unreadable frown, and he sighed, shaking his head. "I have no right to do this. It's wrong. It's just wrong."

"What is wrong?"

Rin looked back up at him, sad and apologetic, folding his arms defensively. "I have no right to drag you into my hell. I know you want to help and I'm grateful, but… it's wrong. I don't want you to fuck everything up because of me. I mean the project and… the exam and whatever…"

"You don't give a fuck about my project!"

"No, but _you_ do."

"Then fucking help me!" his classmate nearly shouted again. "Kirigakure-sensei said that you're supposed to _tutor me in the only thing I'm still missing,_ didn't she?! Well?! "

The half-demon boy was staring pensively at the pot, still chewing on his bottom lip. Ryuuji had known from the start that the whole thing was a hoax but he'd went along with it anyway, however if Okumura wanted it called out on, then-

"I think I know what she wants me to teach you," he said unexpectedly.

The older teen blinked, this time utterly perplexed. "Yeah? You what, suddenly figured that out by looking at a dick-shaped fish?"

Rin slammed the lid over the pot irritably, with a loud clatter. "No, Suguro! Do you even know _why_ I said that I don't want to fuck things up for you?! And you started cooking because you were angry! _Cooking_ , of all things!"

Ryuuji's features relaxed somewhat as he inhaled deeply, inwardly pondering whether he had some monumental piece of idiocy coming his way (the kind only Okumura seemed to be capable of debiting upon occasion) or whether there was something he hadn't picked up after all. Was there really something the half-demon could teach him? He did have some skill when it came to getting out of bad situations – surpassed of course by his skill of getting _into_ bad situations - but that must have only been thanks to his demonic abilities, which could obviously not be _taught_ to anyone else.

"You don't want me to waste my time here instead of finding the answer to the case," the Aria said tentatively. "Because if I fail this assignment, I will not be allowed to proceed further to the exorcist authorization exam. Right?"

Rin pressed his lips into a tight line. "Wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that you've already done plenty of research work for the project, you went to the library every day. And you're the smartest guy in our class, there's no way you'd fuck this up because of lack of preparation, but you might fuck it up because of doubt. Right now you're not just angry about what happened to me, you're also scared. You are already doubting… I mean you always wanted to become an exorcist, ever since you were a kid, and you've worked so hard for it until now, but after you've discovered all this shit and especially after last night you've began questioning whether you really want to end up working for the True Cross Order after all."

Ryuuji froze. This was a thought so dark that he hadn't as much as allowed it to take a clear shape inside his mind, automatically dismissing it whenever it reared its ugly head.

"H-How do you know that? Can you… read my mind?" he whispered, involuntarily leaning against the tabletop for support, as if his legs were about to give out. Good God, what _else_ did Okumura know?! Did he know that Ryuuji had _touched_ him? That he…

Rin rolled his eyes. "No, Bon. Your mind would be kind of a lot to read anyway, no? I wouldn't bother with that," he replied, offering his classmate a faint smile. "I am just intuitive, because I can instinctively feel what others feel. So I can read their… _hearts_ I guess. I'm en… em-pathic or something, Shura says it's my only redeemable feature."

 _Probably._

Ryuuji exhaled, indeed, this made sense. The half-demon did have that gift, it was that one thing which had always been so strikingly _human_ about him. And yes, he must have seemed rather dense on that side in comparison. Empathy… it was something that Kirigakure-sensei probably sought to cultivate in her students, precisely because the Order seemed to lack it.

"And you're going to teach me that? How to read people's hearts?" the older teen asked, smiling in turn.

"Yeah. Probably gonna be a pain in the ass."

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – Seriously, just google the Gaebul fish, it really does look as bad as it sounds (don't know if it's good for vigor though :))).


	11. Some little truths 2

**Some little truths 2**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! Long time no update for a variety of reasons, among which my comp being down for repairs for a little while, etc. But, I say, I have finally put together a plan of the chapters left and I finally know what I'm up against in terms of plot and work volume. So in that respect I'm relieved, because I'm not proceeding with this blindly anymore ;)) Anyway, without further useless ranting, enjoy the new chap!

 _Warning_ : mentions of underage smoking/substance abuse

* * *

Ryuuji glanced hesitantly towards his classmate's turned back as Rin expertly tossed the vegetables he'd chopped earlier into a pan to make something edible for a change. He really didn't want to ruin the fragile atmosphere again but knew that he had to deliver Okumura-sensei's message, the sooner the better, before it festered between them like a plague of sorts.

"Um, look… before you decide to teach me anything, there's something I have to tell you," the Aria said and was instantly irked by how guilty and apologetic his own voice had sounded, as if this were _his_ fault or something!

"Hmm?"

The taller teen sat down at the dinner table, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat. "Well, it's not… I mean I know it's none of my business, but I was just asked to deliver a message, so…" He paused for a bit, licking suddenly dry lips, but the half-demon remained silent, back still turned. "When I got back here, earlier last night, I found Okumura-sensei on the steps. He said he'd wanted to talk to you, back at the club, but you'd left in a hurry so he didn't get the chance to. I kinda panicked when I saw him, but he didn't ask me anything, like why I was here or-… He just wanted me to tell you that he'd only wanted to talk to you and see how you were, he wasn't trying to get his hands on you or anything."

Rin flinched almost unnoticeably, shoulders tensing and tail going somewhat rigid, and Ryuuji didn't need to see his face to guess that his lips were pressed tightly into a pained grimace, as his movements halted momentarily.

"Look, I know how this sounds, but… I've never seen him like this before, he looked-"

"Thwarted," Rin offered bluntly, taking the pan off the stove.

"No, he looked really upset, like… all his composure was gone, he looked… I don't know." Ryuuji was about to say 'human for once', but that would have most likely angered Rin instantly and to a great extent, since before his brother's possession by Satan and subsequent 'awakening' everyone had been led to believe that Rin alone was the 'son of Satan', while his fraternal twin was completely human. "And when he said that – that he only wants to talk to you, not get his hands on you or anything you might think – and again, it's none of my business, but to be honest he looked like he'd screwed up with something and really wanted to fix it."

The half-demon moved away from the stove with a sigh, walked and perched himself up on the windowsill, drawing his knees to his chest while his tail curled protectively around his legs. Absent fingers fished a cigarette from the pack abandoned there the day before and Rin lit it with a single blue spark, without bothering with the lighter. His classmate watched as he took a long, thoughtful drag, head falling backwards against the frame and lips parting to let out bluish twirls of smoke, and he caught the distinctive and by now very familiar scent of Demon's Bane mixed with tobacco.

"Obviously," Rin said, visibly making an effort to appear unaffected by what he'd heard and by what he was about to say, "I cannot tell you what happened during the test, but I guess I can tell you what happened afterwards... " He paused, biting the fingernails of his free hand while he stared into his own lap, as if he had already changed his mind about speaking. "Right after it was over, when I stepped out of that room, I was barely keeping myself up on my feet, I was in so much pain, I just… uh… didn't know what was going on anymore, and there was Yukio and he looked at me and said something like 'this test is really important, so I hope you didn't fuck this up'. I don't know if he said anything else, because I passed out or something, just… And then when I woke up, like, three weeks later, I was in the Order's hospital and… "Rin shook his head slowly. "I wasn't well, couldn't even sit up and there was Yukio again and the very first thing he said was something like 'guess what, brother, I have great news, you passed the test! Everything's going to be alright now! I'm so glad you didn't fuck this up (as you normally do…)'" Sniffing curtly, Rin took another drag from the cigarette, blinking back his tears. "I was in _fucking pieces_ and that was all he had to say."

Ryuuji felt his own muscles tensing up against the hard chair and his stomach churning as he was getting a real glimpse into the twins' relationship, finding it to be even worse than he'd always… sort of suspected it was. Of course, Okumura was a slacker at school and an idiot upon occasion and he'd figured that his brother, as a teacher, simply _had_ to be tough on him, especially in front of the others. But he'd also intuited that this toughness extended into their more private, family relationship, where there should have been understanding, support and affection. Rin was very sensitive though (Kirigakure-sensei was right and hence his ability to be empathetic) and his younger twin – who was all hard edges – had kept bruising him on the inside again and again.

"You know," Rin said after a while, crushing the half-smoked butt into the ashtray with slow, lazy twists, "Satan is not all flaming rage and chaos and shit. His heart is cold, like an icy desert and he's also got a very sharp, calculating mind and silver tongue… and eh, didn't pass _me_ any of that stuff."

The half-demon looked at his classmate and mustered a small, bitter smile, which vanished from his pale lips just as quickly as it had appeared. "Not saying that _I_ 'm good and my brother is bad or anything, Bon. We're both bad." He shrugged awkwardly and snorted. "I mean we're demons after all."

Ryuuji stood from his seat determined, walked up and gripped the smaller teen's shoulders with both hands, barely keeping his own fingers from digging and printing bruises into the other boy's flesh, and Rin looked up at him resignedly – his eyes endless pools of blue still shining with unshed tears.

"Never say that again!" the Aria grumbled through gritted teeth."You're not bad! Now sit down at the table, you need to eat something!"

Releasing the half-demon, Ryuuji moved past him to get two plates from the cupboard, drawing a deep breath and secretly relieved that he'd stopped himself before doing anything awkward, like getting too close again.

 _Touching him again the way I shouldn't._

"I'm sorry," he went on muttering quickly, while transferring the contents of the pan into the two plates and digging for some eating utensils in the drawers. "I probably shouldn't have brought this up. And I wasn't saying that you _have_ _to_ see your brother or talk to him if you don't want to… Just forget about it, okay?"

Rin did what he was told, patiently waiting for the Aria to set a full plate in front of him. He looked worn in spite being freshly woken, as if this little episode about his brother had physically drained him and his friend cursed inwardly.

And it was true – God, the smaller teen thought, scrubbing a hand over his face, what the fuck was he doing?! Bon was already doubtful of the whole thing, ready to kick his lifelong dream to the curb because he'd discovered the truth about Rin's test (he should have never discovered that!) and now he'd gone and said those things about Yukio, on top of everything else! Right after he'd told Bon that he didn't want to drag him into his private hell… What he'd said was nothing but the truth and it had simply slipped, spilled over because it hurt so damn much, but his friend had to – for his own good – be kept from any more _truths_. He had to get himself together and do something to help instead, like Shura had asked him to, Bon couldn't see him like this anymore.

"Tell me about your project," the half-demon said, a bit shyly, taking a reluctant mouthful of the steaming vegetables.

Ryuuji looked up brusquely from his own plate, at first stopping mid-chew, then allowing his features to relax a little as he nodded. "You really want to help me?" he asked with his mouth full. Truth be told, he was still highly skeptical about any useful input from Okumura, especially since he was still in a pinch after all the hours spent in the Cram School library.

"Yeah… I mean, Shura said I should and… you do look kinda stressed about it."

"It's important, you know, not just for access to the final exorcist certification exam, but because it's a real, actual case that the Order hasn't solved yet! That's why they've given us such a short deadline to work on it, if we can't figure it out then-"

"Oh my God, Bon, did you really believe…?" Rin stopped himself abruptly, staring intently at his food and biting his bottom lip.

"What?!"

"Oh. N-Nothing…"

" _OKUMURA!_ "

"Shura said it's an old case she dug up from the archive especially for this, just had the stamp removed from the pages… And the part with the… uh… conclusion I guess. So they know who did what, but now you're supposed to figure it out as well."

The Aria shot him a deathly glare. "But you were _not_ supposed to tell me that, right? Great! Just _fucking_ great!"

"But-"

"You just made me cheat, damn it!"

Rin rolled his eyes. "Are you fucking serious, Suguro?! It's not like I told you the answer or anything! I don't know it, anyway!"

Ryuuji pursed his mouth petulantly and pushed his files forward with his free hand, while with the other shoved some more food in his mouth. The stew was delicious, the vegetables seasoned just right, it would have been a pity to waste it. Without another word, he flipped the rough cardboard cover and took out the first photo Shura had shown him.

"There."

It was a black-and-white photograph, poor quality, but Rin picked it up gingerly and stared at it as if there was so much more, lips parted slightly and nearly holding his breath, and the Aria suddenly realized that he should have at least waited for his classmate to finish his meal before being shown _that_.

"A _golem_ attack," the older teen explained awkwardly, motioning to the picture. "I initially deduced that because, while at first it looked like the work of some kind of demon, there's no sign of summoning, no candles, no pentagrams on the floor, no sign of possession on the bodies, but instead there are some marks in ancient Hebrew there, on the wall, written with the blood of the victims…"

Halfway through his account, Ryuuji realized that Rin wasn't really paying attention. Big surprise. He scowled. "Hey!"

The half-demon looked up at him startled. "Oh… so, uh, who are these people?" he asked, pointing to the two mangled bodies in the picture.

Ryuuji sighed. "Damn! I'm sorry… I should have let you eat first."

"I'll eat. Tell me?"

"Um, they're a couple of burglars, actually. They robbed a small shop, beat up the young man at the counter pretty badly, in fact so bad that he passed away in the hospital two days later. And another couple of days afterwards, he came back from the dead one night and did this. Well, not _he_ , but… a creature, a golem which was made to look exactly like him. Showed up on some surveillance cameras. Thing is, this was just the beginning, because the golem goes out looking for prey every night and it cannot be destroyed, but by the person who created it. So the question is, who made it?"

"And?"

Rin was mostly poking at his food, taking small bites indifferently, while his gaze wandered lazily between the photo and the pile of notes and excerpts his classmate had been working on.

"I suspected that the shop owner created the golem in revenge, because a lot of money was taken that night, but here's where things don't add up, because it's no easy work and the man just… I don't know."

The Aria waited patiently while the other teen's thin fingers fumbled through the papers, knowing that this was probably going nowhere. A complete waste of time.

"Well? Any ideas… _sensei_?"

Rin scowled. "You're right – it doesn't add up!" He held up a piece of paper. "Says here that a golem is simply a shape made of clay and its creator gives it life by… magically pouring a piece of their soul into… into it!"

"Yes," Ryuuji confirmed dryly, deciding not to mention the fact that they'd already studied this basic stuff at school.

"So, it's like making a mud pie. Uh… what I mean to say is, a mud pie doesn't really look like anything, so a golem would have a very simple shape, no? It would be enough for it to be destructive. Yet, you say that this golem looks exactly like the dead shopkeeper, so it's like someone made a statue of him! Must have taken a lot of work…"

"Yeah, but maybe the owner wanted the robbers to know who was getting revenge on them or something."

The half-demon scratched his head, digging some more through the papers, sighing and eventually slipping off from the pile a small piece of paper which he held in his lap while drawing his knees up to his chest again, his features gradually morphing into a sad, almost pained expression as he stared at it.

"What?"

"No one would have put that much work into the golem _and_ _a piece of their soul_ just because some money was stolen from them and besides, the owner probably didn't even know so well what his employee looked like. But _she_ did."

Rin flipped the piece of paper – another photo – and held it up for Ryuuji to see. It was a wedding photo in which the now dead young man was smiling happily next to his lovely bride.

"No," said the Aria, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms. "That, no, it just can't be! Just look at her – she wouldn't make a golem out of vengeance, she wouldn't have hurt anybody!"

"She never meant to hurt anybody, Bon. You said yourself – the golem simply obeys its instinct to go out for prey because that's its nature, but it wasn't vengeance which created it, it was love. Don't you see? All the detail and stuff, she wanted to bring him back, and this was the only way she knew how…"

Ryuuji was silent and unreadable as he mentally analyzed this particular piece of reasoning which had eluded him completely. His mind worked in the light of clear, logical arguments, uncorrupted by this sort of darkness which shrouded powerful emotions, love was something familiar yet distant and such raw, blind despair he could not grasp. As he sat there, stealing a furtive glance towards the half-demon boy who seemed to be on the verge of tears again, he realized that Rin Okumura's ability was not as much a gift, but a curse, because just like his flames, every single emotion he absorbed consumed him on the inside, every single burden became his. His compassion sprang from a much deeper and far more painful comprehension, something truly, _dreadfully_ human.

Eventually, Rin sighed. "Told you this was going to be a pain in the ass, didn't I? You're dense when it comes to these things!"

"Okumura… shut up and finish your food."

 _ **To be continued**_

Okay, tell me if this chapter is half-assed…


	12. In the dark

**In the dark**

A/N – Hello everyone! I know, long time no update, but… oh well, I'd better stop making excuses or wasting your time with tedious author notes. Anyway, I'm so grateful to you guys for all the amazing support this story is getting, it means a lot to me! This being said, enjoy the new chap ;)

Lyrics (and implied music): _Deftones – My own summer_

 _Warnings_ : mentions of extreme anxiety, underage drinking/substance abuse (and Astaroth fluff… fluff?)

* * *

Of course, Ryuuji had thought that it was probably wrong – coming here again – but upon agreeing to it, in that moment, some time away from the files and the little apartment where too much had happened already had sounded like a good idea. Or at least, a _not so bad_ idea. It was surprising though how quickly the full horror of Okumura's working place had faded from his memory, maybe it had had something to do with how dizzy and generally shocked by everything he had been that night?

No matter, he was back here, in the middle of the intoxicated crowd, waiting for his classmate to finish his shift and hang out. Why had he agreed to this again? Right, because Rin wouldn't leave the safety of Middle Strip and one didn't get a better place than Sir Pheles's club down here (he suspected that one could get much _worse_ places though!). However, that was only the first question. The second was – why couldn't he make some excuse and avoid hanging out with Rin entirely?

Sure, they were friends and Ryuuji could even say that he cared about the half-demon boy now even more than before, but something _was_ different, Okumura had changed, he had become much more insightful and almost… a bit more mature, which would have actually been a good thing if not for the brutal and otherwise damaging circumstances driving this change. And maybe there was something else at work too, maybe the new environment had awakened more of Okumura's demon nature and powers? Either way, Ryuuji was certain that this newly developed charm could eventually become dangerous.

The atmosphere was suffocating and hot and despite Moriyama's warning, the Aria headed for the bar where it was slightly less crowded and there were less swaying drunkards to bump into all the time.

"What can I get you, handsome?"

The question took the teen by surprise as he'd been staring absently at the enormous glass refrigerators behind the counter and had failed to notice the pink-haired, horned girl who was now leaning in front of him, flashing a broad, sharp-toothed smile. She was pretty though, in that same surreal, delicate-but-beastly fashion he was now familiar with.

"Uh… I'm not sure if I-…"

"… see Age of Astaroth! And this place is so fucking awesome!"

Ryuuji turned, startled by the voices as he was slammed into by two girls in messy school uniforms. They were giggling madly and nearly yelling at each other over the background noise.

"Oh my God, I'm so excited! And I think Okumura is totally fuckable!"

Goodness, this really was the last thing he needed to hear… "Give me a mineral water, please," the Aria grumbled awkwardly, turning away from the girls, desperate to tune out whatever other obscenities they might have had in store next.

"There you go, baby-… Hey!" The demon girl paused with the almost frozen bottle in her hand, suddenly craning her neck to see past Ryuuji's frame and scowling. "Is that a fucking _exorcist_?!"

Ryuuji froze. Now that was the last thing he needed, to be seen by Okumura-sensei at the bar! He turned abruptly and squinted, but could see nothing through the smoke and dense crowd. Had the younger twin really come again?

"Ah, excuse me… Did you say 'exorcist'?" he asked the girl, feigning ignorance. "What-… what did he look like?"

The pink-haired demon was now typing something on her phone preoccupied and didn't spare him as much as a glance. "Like a fucking crow, don't they all look like that in those long coats? Some old fart… Beelzebub's beard, I thought there was a fucking ban on them!"

So… it wasn't Okumura-sensei. But then, who could have been and why?

* * *

The lights had dimmed and Rin walked up on the stage, tossing away the cigarette butt and feeling grateful for the spreading numbness, it eased the unsettling feeling of being stared at by so many people. Yukio wouldn't show up again, would he? No. He wouldn't. Now he'd simply wait for Rin to crack and give himself up, like he always did. But not tonight, not tonight…

" _Hey you, big star / Tell me when it's over / Hey you, big mood, guide me to shelter / 'Cause I'm through…"_

The words and the song came easily. He wasn't alone. In moments like these, it was alright that the other demons were nearby. They would protect him if…

" _When the two hits the six and it's summer"_

And then Rin saw _him._ In the first moment the half-demon nearly felt like bursting into a fit of mad laughter, before the terror began to seep into every fiber of his body, into his very bones. Well, if his brother had failed, it figured that the Grigori would summon the _other_ , the ultimate nightmare they pretended to be unaware of…

" _CLOUD, COME! SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, / THE SUN - SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT ASIDE!"_

Blue flames sprang freely and licked his limbs eagerly as Rin allowed his body to morph completely, voice turning to a feral growl for the chorus. _He_ would not win just yet – the boy pulled the microphone out of its holder and walked up to the front of the stage, closer, watching through the drug-induced haze as the man's disturbing smile grew, devious and almost ecstatic, basking in a sense of infinite power. His coat seemed to absorb all shadows, like a hungry black hole inside which there was nothing but void, nothing but death.

" _I think god is moving its tongue / There's no crowd in the streets / And no sun in my own summer / The shade is a tool, a device, a savior / See, I try and look up to the sky… / But my eyes burn…"_

Rin wanted it to be over, it was too much. Too much… Despite being still numb, a weight pressed on his chest, suffocating, crushing. He dropped to his knees, but the weight pressed him further down, on his back, the flames spreading from his body like a deadly liquid.

" _CLOUD, COME! SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT,/ THE SUN - SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT, SHOVE IT ASIDE!"_

The blue fire burst into a violent wave like never before - in rhythm with the music - and swept over the swaying, screaming crowd and the man's wicked smile.

* * *

Cold water dripping from his hair, Rin stared at the pale face in the restroom mirror, with tear-streaked cheeks, reddened nose and lips pressed tightly, almost colorless. Out there, on the stage, he'd nearly passed out. He'd nearly turned everything into the ashes of his despair. The high of the drug, brusquely countered by violent emotions, had left his body weak and without energy, completely drained. Defeated.

 _Defenseless._

"What have I done that was so bad?" the half-demon boy whispered, gulping. "Why? Why, God? What have I done to deserve this?"

"Young master, what are you doing here? Are you alright?"

Right. There was _this other_ problem, on top of everything else. Rin took a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes, then whipped his head around abruptly, teeth bared and claws already extended gripping the edge of the sink.

"Astaroth, if you're looking to corner me again, I swear you're in for a-"

The lavender-haired boy sauntered closer, the usual hideous grin plastered on his face. "Oh, young master, by all means… be as hypocritical as you like, but I know something's wrong again. What was it this time?"

Rin wanted to speak, tried to answer, but the curse squeezed the words into his throat until nothing but a faint hiss came out. He slumped helplessly to the ground, hands clasped around his own neck as he struggled for breath. The King of Rot was fixing him intently and the pink orbs widened in understanding.

"Stop trying, young master. I think I get it," he said.

"I…" The half-demon boy inhaled deeply, free at last but already blinking back fresh tears. "I want him… I want him to… to b-…"

Astaroth knelt and gently gathered the brunet in his arms, nestling his head in the crook of his neck. Sharp-nailed fingers treaded softly through the prince's hair, smoothing the damp strands in a soothing caress. "Yes… say it, young master," he prompted. "Say what you really want. Set yourself free…"

Rin's eyelids fell shut as he pressed his forehead into the king demon's shoulder. "I want him to burn," he murmured, voice faint with exhaustion.

"What is going on?! What the hell are you two doing again?!"

No wonder Mephisto Pheles was the King of Time. He did have the worst timing ever.

"Master Samael, I'm afraid _that man_ was here tonight," the King of Rot informed him, still cradling the teen in his arms. "Young master saw him and was greatly disturbed by this."

Mephisto said nothing, but a curious, pondering expression graced his features, as if this was somehow entertaining. Rin mentally rolled his eyes, whatever his older brother was currently up to was impossible to comprehend or figure out and if he indeed had a plan concerning the Council, he was surely taking his fucking time with the results.

"Master Samael, I know that this is a _free zone_ , even if the man has broken the ban," Astaroth went on saying. "But perhaps it would be best if the others and I were to follow him back into Assiah and have him done for, once and for all. We will find him with ease, he has already been seen by several of our servants."

"You will do no such thing," the King of Time said smoothly, still rubbing his chin.

"But master Samael, what that human has done is unprecedented and he's not even hiding! He came here clearly seeking a challenge and you wouldn't see it answered! He will grow even bolder! Besides, can you not see that until he is dead young master will not have any peace?"

Rin lifted his head and looked up, suddenly feeling Mephisto's eyes on him, fixing him with an unspoken question.

"Is that true, Rin? Would you really be that merciful?"

"Wha-…"

"Would you let him get away so easily, with _only_ death as his punishment? And even so, should _his_ head only roll down in the dirt? Hmmm? I wonder…"

Brusquely, Rin hauled himself up on his feet, out of Astaroth's grasp, and scowled at his older brother without a word before storming out of the restrooms.

* * *

Ryuuji was perched awkwardly on a bar stool, half-slumped over the counter and nursing a half-empty bottle of who-knew-what quite confused. Goodness, he couldn't quite get used to the blue flames, harmless or not, rolling over him like that, all-consuming, simply… simply dreadful! And then something bad had happened, he knew it, the mysterious exorcist he'd been unable to lay eyes on had stirred a lot of commotion. Exorcists did come to Middle Strip sometimes, unofficially, but that man had shown off his insignia openly, as if purposely looking for trouble! What the hell was that about?

"Hey, Bon! What-"

"Oh, come on, I just had a mineral water!" the Aria replied defensively. He wasn't getting a lecture from Okumura now, was he?

Rin blinked, gaze trailing from his friend to the bottle and back and he pursed his mouth in a funny way. The pink-haired girl came and brought him a big glass full of something red and thick, topped with ice cubes.

"Hey, make that two!" Ryuuji asked, out of the blue, straightening his back. He saw that Okumura's black t-shirt was damp on the front and he looked a tad disheveled, blue-and-black hair messy and sticking up in all directions."Hey… what happened? Have you been crying?" he asked softly, reaching out to smooth his classmate's hair as if it was the most natural thing in the world, only realizing what he'd done when he noticed that some of the blue dye had come away on his fingers.

Rin took a swift swig from his drink and wiped his mouth awkwardly, averting his gaze. "Uh… no, I just… I had an episode again, I was in pain and had to finish quicker than usual. But I'm okay now, really…"

The taller teen nodded, not very convinced. In this short time, he'd learned how to read his classmate and could sense that the other was lying now. Whatever had happened though it must have been still too fresh, but Okumura would eventually tell him, he figured, when he was going to be ready for it.

Up on the stage a new band had followed and more wild music began pouring through the sound system, almost deafening. Ryuuji got his own drink and took a long sip from it (he saw Rin's lips moving, saying something – most likely advising against it, but it was too late). In turn he leaned it to shout in the other's ear, although the half-demon could probably hear just fine despite the noise.

"Let's go dance," the Aria said, abandoning his glass and motioning to the crowd. He pulled at Rin's hand boldly and the smaller teen followed, albeit with a look of surprise on his face.

Alcohol and whatever-the-hell else had been in that drink was making him feel lighter and lighter and Ryuuji let his body loosen in the rhythm, without a care in the world. All the tension, all the worries were gone. This was so new, crazy, wrong! He reached out, cupping Rin's pale cheek and stroking the smooth cheekbone with his thumb, every movement feeling like in a dream, and the half-demon blinked slowly, sleepily, as if he too doubted it was real.

 _I think everything is going to hell…_

Ryuuji leaned in slowly and tilted his head - with as much precision as his drunken state allowed – and pressed his lips against his classmate's without warning. Perhaps he should have said something beforehand, like… only right now his clouded mind was incapable of mustering a single logical thought, aside from the fact that if he didn't do it _right now_ …

Rin didn't move but didn't stiffen either, too stupefied or too drunk to have much of a reaction, only give in.

The Aria pulled him closer, eventually lifting up the half-demon and prompting him to wrap his arms around his neck and his legs and tail around his waist. His lips were chapped and tasted of alcohol and cigarettes and unconfessed tears, yet when he finally kissed Ryuuji back, clumsily, messily, it lit his blood aflame.

 _ **To be continued**_


	13. Findings 1

**Findings 1**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! I must say I'm so excited for what's to come next plot-wise and also to let you know that as per the partial results of the poll I've put up on my profile, Age of Astaroth is on the lead on your preferences ;) Therefore, I will work to update this fic predominantly, as much as my muses will allow (because as you know, everything ultimately depends on them :P). For now, enjoy the new chap!

 _Warnings_ : mentions of substance abuse

* * *

With a deep groan, Rin pushed open the shoji and stumbled out of the empty bedroom, Kuro in tow, momentarily ignoring the sound of the running shower. Being half-demon, he couldn't technically get a hangover no matter how much he drank, but regardless of that now he was feeling weak, simply drained and exhausted, and on top of everything a dull ache had started in his lower back upon waking.

The half-demon boy moved automatically to put some coffee to brew, filled the cat familiar's bowl with cat food and collapsed on one of the table seats, head in his hands. Even if there was by no means a given that Bon should have slept next to him again, he'd still taken it as a bad sign to wake up alone, with only Kuro curled up at his feet as usual. So there was _that_ , also considering that his memory of the previous night (past the weird conversation with Mephisto) was a complete blur of unlikely events, including a very drunk Bon. Was that even possible?! Still, even drunk, his classmate had looked like he'd caught a whiff of what was going on and now – Rin thought warily – he was probably going to ask questions…

Inside the small bathroom, Ryuuji shivered under the sobering effect of the almost cold water running down his back, forehead and palms pressed flat against the ugly, uneven tiles of the wall. He'd been sick earlier, but once the physical consequences of his 'wild night out' had worn off, dark thoughts had reared their ugly head.

' _Bon, you wouldn't hurt me, would you?'_

Vivid flashes of something which had felt almost too good to be true kept coming back to him – stumbling out of the club, hurried pecks and giggles on the way here and making it into the bedroom, shirts removed with shy clumsiness during a confused but passionate make-out session and…

And then Okumura, despite being obviously drunk and nearly half-asleep, had whispered those words.

They had cut through him like a hot knife, making him realize the horror of _what_ he'd been trying to do. Sobering him instantly with an overpowering pang of guilt. Rin was a mess, he was hurt, terribly vulnerable, Ryuuji was one of the very few people he actually _trusted_ and felt safe around and now the Aria had just managed to make things incredibly awkward between them! Seriously, how could it have occurred to him to order 'mineral water' and how could he have been naïve enough to think that demons would actually serve that?

 _Stupid! So fucking stupid!_

Still, he couldn't hide in the bathroom forever.

The half-demon boy was resting his head in his hands, nursing his coffee mug and Ryuuji spotted the tell-tale snuffbox next to it, while a breakfast plate one of Sir Pheles's minions must have prepared while they were still asleep had remained untouched in the middle of the table. He barely stirred when the taller teen stepped out cautiously out of the bathroom and took a seat in front of him, yet the Aria immediately noticed the tension in his hunched form.

"We need to talk," Ryuuji said softly, having taken a deep breath as inconspicuously as possible and running his hand through his damp and unruly hair. Right. Better out with it.

"I was afraid you'd say that, "Rin replied in a low voice, still not lifting his head. "I suppose you've seen him too, haven't you?"

 _The exorcist!_ So, it was an issue, just as he'd imagined. Momentarily the Aria felt relieved that this was more important than the obvious elephant in the room. Could there be a chance that Okumura didn't even remember… _the rest_? Eh, no such luck probably…

"Uh… no, actually I haven't seen him, but people at the bar were talking… um… they were quite angry, I think? Because of the ban and all. Who was it anyway, someone we know?"

Rin looked up at him at last, rather surprised at the fake-casual tone of his friend's voice. "I can't tell you who it was. If I tried to, the curse would choke me or something and it already happened once last night."

So that man, whoever he was… he'd had something to do with Okumura's test! Ryuuji exhaled loudly, shocked. If only he had seen this mysterious character, one who might have had something to do with that awful wound still etched into his friend's flesh!

"So-… why… um… why do you think he showed up last night?"

Rin sighed – he'd just fucked up again, monumentally, by just blurting out the truth. Right now Bon needed to get his notes right, have them delivered to Shura and start preparing for the exorcist authorization exam, not worry about all this crazy shit! If he'd had any brains he should have simply dropped some random name or said it had been some unknown exorcist and that he had no idea why the man had showed up. At least the part about the 'why' would have been true.

"I don't know why he showed up," the half-demon said eventually, shrugging dismissively. "Probably just to taunt me or just… annoy the hell out of everyone, which he did in fact. But it's nothing, really, and Mephisto knows about it too, so-"

"So that's why Astaroth is always around when you're working. That man, he's a threat to you."

Rin flinched at the other's deduction and the painful implication it contained. Ryuuji didn't say 'and you need to be protected by someone who has no qualms with hurting humans', but he was probably thinking it right now. How further horrified and disappointed the Aria would have been to hear him say that _he wanted that man to burn_! Rin's stomach cringed painfully at the thought.

"No, no, I don't think-… I mean Mephisto arranged this whole thing and he said that he has everything under control. I just-"

Ryuuji gave him a disbelieving look, crossing his arms. "You don't think that. Sir Pheles supposedly had things under control before as well and yet these horrible things have happened to you."

"Well, I don't know what the hell he is doing, to be honest, I just-…"

Rin buried his face in his hands, helplessly and Ryuuji decided to drop the subject since it was causing his friend such obvious discomfort.

"Well, I'm sure that Sir Pheles knows what he's doing in this case, or at least we can hope… eh…" he muttered as a conclusion. If he was completely honest, many things weren't exactly adding up in his books either, but right now he thought they were better left alone, especially when there was something _far more_ uncomfortable to talk about. But how to ease his way into it?

A few minutes passed in silence, the Aria discreetly observing Rin as he finally nibbled something from the breakfast plate indifferently, again lacking appetite. Kuro jumped up into his lap and the half-demon boy stroked his back and head gently, briefly smoothing the tiny, soft ears backwards with his fingertips. The cat familiar instantly began purring and pawing playfully at his shirt, and Ryuuji found himself almost jealous at the infinite tenderness of their interaction and continuously awed at the fact that Okumura could be so loving and soft on the inside while also being able to turn into pure, flaming rage in the blink of an eye. It was striking and endearing in the same time and all the more evident now in the absence of that boisterous, carefree smile he'd always had before.

 _That's because…_ before _he was trying to fit in, to get accepted. Now he has given up. He has just given up on everything…_

Ryuuji swallowed a painful lump in his throat. The half-demon boy seemed to find the silence comfortable, oblivious to the other's tension, enjoying what little solace had been left for him in the hellhole where Sir Pheles had chosen to bury him for lack of better options, or… who knew? And speaking of Sir Pheles…

"So, I was wondering," the Aria began, hesitantly but also aware that any further delay just made things worse. "What… um… what Sir Pheles thinks of this situation. I mean, uh, of me being here and stuff…?"

Rin looked up at him with a neutral expression. "You mean, about me helping with your project? Shura said it wouldn't affect your mark or anything." He offered a small, wry smile. "Anyway, heh, nobody expects me to do any work, so-"

"That's not what I meant." The taller teen sighed, disappointed that the subtlety had been lost on his friend (not awfully surprising though). "I meant what does he think about me staying here and sleeping here and all." He said the last words really quickly, before hurrying to explain some more. "I mean, Sir Pheles is your legal guardian and all and he's a responsible adult."

His classmate's eyes widened a bit and he made a funny sound, something between a snort and a giggle, looking genuinely amused at the question.

"Bon, you know, Mephisto has already lived like six hundred years and before beginning his collaboration with the Order he used to eat souls… How 'responsible' do you think he is?" Rin paused, thoughtful, pinching his nose. "Now that I think of it, he might have said 'no girls' once, but I don't know if that wasn't just to troll me. He likes to do that."

Poor Bon, it was a pity that Rin couldn't tell him why this – after what had already happened to him - was almost hilarious. The Aria was struggling with growing embarrassment, yet still wanted to talk about _it_ … and that shit-head clown, oh, he must have known what had transpired between them, he had this annoying talent of always finding out the damnedest things (and keeping them up his sleeve until the perfect moment came to throw them into people's faces). Bon would probably be spared, but Rin personally entertained no hope of escaping what he had coming in that regard – it was much too 'juicy' for Mephisto to just let it slide.

Rin stood from the table and put the cat down, realizing in the process that he was still dizzy and the pain in his lower back hadn't completely let up either. Damn, he'd thought of wiggling his way out of the subject by starting to clean up the dishes and other stuff around the kitchen, but given his state it looked like a bad idea. For now his body needed some more rest, so in the end the half-demon boy only took a few steps to plop onto the sofa, exchanging the hard chair for a softer spot. It would have been better to head back to bed though, because Ryuuji, who had finally picked up his project notes, sat down next to him immediately afterwards, papers in hand and obviously fidgeting. So he wasn't getting away with it after all…

"Look, when I said I wanted to talk, I meant about what happened when… after I had that drink. You do remember, don't you?"

"Yeah…" Rin nodded briefly, averting his gaze and somewhat sinking into the plushy backrest. "But just… don't worry about it! I mean, it's okay-"

Ryuuji scowled and turned to face the smaller teen fully, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "It's not okay at all! How can you say that?! I _kissed_ you!" he nearly shouted."It was wrong! WRONG!"

The half-demon boy said nothing, gaze trained on the floor and hands resting limply in his lap and, even if he didn't actually move, the Aria could feel him withdrawing, instinctively trying to protect himself from the perceived aggression. Color had drained completely from his already pale face and Ryuuji realized his mistake, the renewed wave of guilt feeling like a swift kick in the stomach. Rin almost opened his mouth to say something but managed no more than a sharp intake of air and a tell-tale flutter of eyelids behind which his friend could already guess the unseen tears threatening to spill.

"I'm sorry!… I swear I didn't mean it that way! I mean it was wrong because you were… uh, confused and all and I took advantage of you! You trusted me, damn it, and I took advantage of you!"

Now Rin scowled too, instead of looking more at ease at the other's explanation, and seemed to pull away even more. "Just so you know, I never get _that_ drunk, Suguro!" he snapped, stung by the implication. What the hell was Bon saying?! This was his problem, for real?! "And what, it would have been better if I'd bitch-slapped you?!"

"No-not with your strength, but-"

"But what? I said it was okay, didn't I?"

"Yeah…?" Ryuuji asked and nodded slowly, lips pressed into a tight line."Huh… So, what about Moriyama?"

Rin blinked a couple of times, until he fully comprehended the true meaning behind Bon's words. His friend must have thought that he'd either been weak, or drunk or whatever, but that either way it had meant nothing to him. Still, Rin _had_ hoped it was a drunken whim, never having occurred to him that Bon could actually _like_ him. What were the odds, anyway? The Aria was usually so short-fused and reluctant and-…

"Shiemi is my best friend, we tell each other everything," he said eventually, with a light smile. "And she's always been, you know, very sweet and gentle with me, ever since we first met and I… "His shoulders jerked upwards, shyly. "This was kind of _new_ to me. You know I never had a mom… So she actually had to openly friendzone me to make me realize that I'd mistaken this need for affection for more… "

But for some reason, Ryuuji continued to scowl and Rin sighed. He'd _so_ fucked this up, he'd ended up distracting and troubling Bon more than he'd helped him and Shura was going to let him have it big time!

"Okumura… let's get one thing straight," the Aria said. "What the hell are you saying? That if I kissed you now, for example, you'd be okay with it?"

"Well, yeah-"

He didn't get to finish the sentence because the taller teen leaned in without warning and pecked him on the lips quickly. Getting no apparent reaction, Ryuuji let his notes scatter on the couch around them as he gripped his friend's shoulders and pressed his lips against his again, a bit more forcefully, letting his mouth linger there. Eventually, Rin tilted his head a bit, shifting closer and cupping the Aria's cheek with one hand as he kissed him back and Ryuuji needed no other encouragement to push the smaller teen flat on his back onto the sofa. He got bolder, pressing his whole weight on Rin's body and fingers tangling into the luscious black strands as he finally slipped his tongue past his classmate's lips, deepening the kiss.

"Hey!"

Ryuuji snapped out of his heated daze finding himself pushed in turn, swiftly but smoothly as the half-demon boy inverted their positions and he saw Rin's face hovering above his, cheeks slightly flushed and reddened lips parted as he was panting a bit. He was smiling though, looking like he was enjoying himself despite being still a bit nervous and shy.

"What?"

"Shouldn't you be getting your notes in order? You're meeting Shura later today, aren't you?"

Ryuuji nearly scowled again at this. "But-"

"Get to work, Suguro!" Rin prompted, with a shit-eating grin. "Don't worry, 'm not going anywhere, just gonna… take a little nap for now." Saying that, he stretched carefully, with a soft yawn, making himself comfortable onto his classmate's stomach and chest and resting his head on Ryuuji's shoulder.

"Pffffttt…."

With a groan, the Aria reached awkwardly around the smaller teen's weight to gather his papers with one hand, while his other arm draped protectively around Rin's shoulders. Warmth spread in his chest and his lips stretched into a genuinely happy smile (the first in a long, long time) upon seeing the half-demon boy dozing off peacefully in his arms, looking so relaxed and…

 _Safe._

 _ **To be continued**_

 **A/N –** Anyway, please keep in mind that the poll on my profile is still open and you can vote for this fic to be prioritized on my updating list ;) Beijos!


	14. Findings 2

**Findings 2**

A/N – Hello everyone! I will begin by thanking all of you guys for all the amazing feedback this story has gotten until now, it really means a lot to me! Also, thank you all for voting in my profile poll, this fic has gotten 65% of all votes! As for the plot, I know you have a lot of questions piled up, but worry not, they will be answered in due time ;) And now, without further ado, enjoy the new chap!

* * *

Damn, it felt like ages since he'd last walked these halls, even if hadn't been more than three days. But literally so much had happened in this short time, everything had changed beyond the possibility of going back to the way it had been before, such that it almost felt like _this_ had been in another life. Ryuuji had known that going back to his everyday life was bound to happen sooner or later, but he dreaded the idea nevertheless. After delivering his project he would have to go back to the dorms, back to Shima and Konekomaru. What would he tell them?!

 _How much_ can _I tell them, anyway? Kirigakure-sensei emphasized that the project details were strictly confidential… it goes without saying that the details about Okumura are confidential too, seeing how much efforts all the teachers have put in to keep it under wraps and keep us from asking too many questions… I was only privy to it because she wanted me to help him. And maybe…_

And maybe there was more. Maybe Kirigakure-sensei had wanted him to get a glimpse of what he was really getting himself into upon deciding to work for the True Cross Order. The Aria wondered though… would she really have done that? Would the nonconformist teacher have gone so far in rebellion against the system she herself was a part of? The only thing he could soundly conclude on was that there was _a lot_ he didn't know, in general. And as far as Shima and Konekomaru were concerned, no, he couldn't tell them about Okumura's test, or his condition. Or about the latest developments in their relationship.

 _Especially_ about… that. After all, things were pretty messed up and unclear to himself, let alone-

The teen spun on his heels almost instinctively and ducked around the corner upon spotting Okumura-sensei in his peripheral vision. The young teacher however had his gaze trained upon the ground with a preoccupied air and failed to notice him entirely, fact for which Ryuuji felt immensely grateful in the moment. Of course, he thought with a renewed pang of dread, the younger twin and his previous request were another issue he would have to face eventually, but not now, God, not now!

And how did he feel about it? _That_ had changed too – Ryuuji himself being the achiever type had previously been looking up to Yukio Okumura, who had managed to accomplish so much despite his short years, already a full-fledged exorcist and a Cram School teacher, but now the question inherently arose whether or not this was pretty much all there was to Okumura-sensei. Whether he wasn't only that, an achiever void of any compassionate feelings and essentially… far less human than his brother.

* * *

It was just past lunch time and the Cram School library was deserted, giving the Aria somewhat of an ominous vibe. Granted, there weren't many exorcist students to begin with and even fewer of those spent regular hours with extra studies, but being completely alone now gave him a feeling of being left out, of having slipped on the outside of things.

Ryuuji grew more and more nervous as he was setting the files and papers on a random desk and doubt suddenly kicked in as to the correctness of the answer to the blasted project! He'd so gotten carried away by Okumura's fantastic intuition, but what if it was all bullshit?! He checked his watch, Kirigakure-sensei was already fifteen minutes late, damn it! The building pressure was suddenly too much, so he stood up brusquely from his seat and headed for the restrooms.

* * *

The bad feeling was still there when he got back, settled for good in his guts this time and the teen couldn't help wondering if he hadn't in fact opened up way too much to this whole intuition crap. He was pulled back from his dark musings upon hearing footsteps, but it quickly turned out that they were moving away from the library, so it wasn't the teacher. With a sigh, Ryuuji walked back to the desk where he'd left his stuff and immediately noticed that something was wrong.

Someone had been through his papers. With some care, without scattering them too much, but enough to make it obvious, and when he closed the cardboard-covered file which currently lay open, the Aria noticed that a blank page had been roughly torn from his notebook, the jagged edges of paper standing up in mockery.

And then, partially stuck under one of his books on Hebraic demonology and a lidless roller-ball pen, he found it.

' _Guess what, your friend Okumura was the best fuck I've ever had! As expected of a demon…'_

Ryuuji read that single line again and again and again, thinking that this was a nightmare he had to wake up from. It wasn't real, it couldn't have been, who would-

"…-out of it! Suguro! SUGURO!" Shura shouted and the student finally lifted his gaze to meet hers, eyes wide in horror. "What's that?" Before he could react, the redhead snatched the note from his hand. Immediately afterwards, she swore something particularly foul.

"No-… no, it's not-…" the teen mumbled weakly."He wouldn't do that, I know Okumura, he wouldn't-…."

"Sit down, Suguro," Shura prompted, drawing the chair across from his. "Where did you get this? Who wrote this?!"

Ryuuji simply shook his head, slipping limply into the seat. "I left my things here not twenty minutes ago and I-… I went to the restroom and when I got back it was here, a-and someone had gone through my stuff…"

"And you didn't see anyone?! Anyone leaving? Maybe someone was here when you got in?"

He shook his head again.

"Fuck."

That man back at the club and now, suddenly, this. Ryuuji scrubbed a hand over his face and straightened up in his seat. That exorcist… he must have seen him and Rin together, he must have watched them and then… he must have followed him here. As expected of a demon! Okumura hadn't done anything wrong, how could someone be so hateful as to go as far as try to ruin their friendship with-

"It's just a bad joke. He always got slandered because he's a demon, and the son of Satan. Hell, even the Paladin wanted to-"

But Kirigakure-sensei pressed her lips into a helpless grimace, looking at a loss as to what to say for the moment and a horrible suspicion arose in his mind.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Suguro. It's my fault, I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this in the first place. I'm afraid that now you must have become a target to… well, to those who think that Okumura dropping out of Cram School and his withdrawal to Middle Strip are proof of… uh… his true intentions or something. Proof that no demon could ever be loyal to the Order."

"What, after they tortured him?!" the student snorted. "I saw _that wound_ , he's in pain to this day! And… and someone who had something to do with his test showed up at the club to-… that… that man he can't talk about because he's cursed!"

"Suguro…"

"Please… tell me it's not true… what I think this is. Tell me he wasn't-"

"We don't know what happened," the redhead said sternly."There was no witness and Okumura is unable to talk about it, as you know. We only know that he was tortured because the Mortal Instrument wound prevented all his other injuries from healing… I only saw his medical records and there was no such a thing mentioned."

She wasn't telling the truth, Ryuuji realized. Not when she was barely making eye contact and she'd carefully stuffed that awful note in her pocket, for safe keeping. _'Bon, you wouldn't hurt me, would you?'_ He'd tried taking things a bit too far and Rin had really gotten scared, even drunk and half-asleep, because… he'd been through that before.

"Ryuuji," Shura said on a softer tone. "If you're done with the project hand me your notes and I'll check them later tonight. I'm sure you did okay."

The Aria nodded, yearning to be alone again so he could let his tears flow. Or maybe he should smash something to bits? Would anything, _anything_ make him feel better?!

"He did help me," he said, as the teacher collected the papers.

Shura gave him a small, reassuring smile."Yeah… Anyway, do focus on your revision for the authorization exam now. As for this, we'll get to the bottom of it, I promise. And don't worry about Okumura, he's gonna be okay, Mephisto is taking good care of him."

* * *

Arthur A. Angel lifted his gaze from the pile of papers he was currently examining and his expression turned sour at the sight of the red-haired inspector who had just barged into his office without prior invitation or appointment, even more so as the determined look on her face clearly spelled that it wasn't something easily thwart-able.

"I'm busy," the Paladin grumbled ill-humoredly, just in case.

"Sorry, baldie, but there's something I thought you'd want to see," Shura said without any introduction, stuffing her hands in the jacket pockets. "Not that I have high hopes of you doing much to pursue _that certain investigation_ , but knowing that at least you're interested in keeping things safely under wraps…."

This was beyond doubt a horrible development and the look on that poor kid's face had made Shura's stomach cringe – damn, he was way, way too young for this kind of shit and she wished she could have lied to him, told him it was only that, just unfounded slander, just cruel words scribbled by a hateful hand, but Ryuuji Suguro had read the truth in her briefest moment of hesitation. Yet there still was an almost perverse spark of excitement at the thought of seeing the Paladin's face turn ashen with humiliation in the perspective of everything coming out like puss from a festering wound. What a slap in the Grigori's face this was!

The blond straightened in his chair, scowling openly now. "What do you mean?!"

"I mean that the man who raped Rin Okumura has started to brag about his fantastic 'accomplishment'," Shura said, pulling the now badly crumpled note out of her pocket and handing it to the Paladin. "Earlier today he slipped this into the notebook of one of Rin's classmates from Cram School."

Angel took the note and examined it skeptically.

"Yeah, but this could have been-"

"It wasn't a student," Shura cut him off sternly."I know the kids in his Cram School class, none of them could have done this, and the others from his regular classes at the Academy don't know he's a demon. If they know he's a demon it has to be an exorcist and since they had access to the Cram School library I'm also guessing it has to be one of the teachers, too." She plopped in the chair set in front of the Paladin's desk and stretched her legs, with a deep sigh. "There's more, Arthur. This man – and I'm sure it was _him_ – went as far as to go down there, to Middle Strip, to taunt Okumura openly at one of his gigs. He showed up there, despite the express ban, in the True Cross Order uniform… looking for a fight."

She saw the crease between the other's golden eyebrows deepening as he turned things over in his head with the cold logic she was accustomed to by now. Arthur A. Angel was arrogant and vain and overall a sum of many other wrong things, but in the end he wasn't really an idiot and the redhead figured that upon being faced with the hard facts he _would_ be useful, at least to some extent.

"Well," the Paladin said at last, gloomily. "We cannot afford to sit and wait for the demons to slay him, whenever they finally decide that the fragile truce with the Order regarding Middle Strip is no longer worth it… He must be found and apprehended before he becomes _way too much of a liability_ for the organization. "Look at this note, it makes it sound like we're making such a fuss about hunting demons only to turn them into our playthings as opportunity arises. This is a mockery of everything I've been working and fighting for!"

Shura took a deep breath, feeling suddenly drained and exhausted after the moment had been consumed. There was so much she wanted to throw in the Paladin's face in reply to this disappointing but not unexpected conclusion. She wanted to tell him about that boy's horror, about the possessed girl abused in the Vatican's dungeons on the grounds that she hadn't been human anymore and God she _so_ wanted to tell him that this rotten organization deserved public exposure and radical reform instead of being allowed to sweep dirt under the rug indefinitely for the sake of a so-called higher purpose… but it was pointless.

"Well, then… at least he's not hiding."

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – okay I know that this chapter was rather short and not very interesting, but it had to be stuffed in for plot purposes, so please bear with me. Anyway, now that Ryuuji finally found out the worst, what do you think he will do? Well, we'll have to see about that, at any rate I promise you guys a longer chapter next time ;)


	15. Surrender

**Surrender**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! Since here we are in 2017, I want to wish you all an AMAZING NEW YEAR with lots of love, fun, progress, (and reviews if you're also an author ;))) and whatever else you wish to see fulfilled! I must confess that during the holidays I really felt like I should write something, given the days off, but no sir. Nope, my muses also went away and would absolutely not return until I was back to work and of course, I had a million other things to do and take care of. So here we are, almost a month later than initially planned, yaaay… Anyway, enough ranting, enjoy the new chap!

 _ **Warnings:**_ Oh, in case you haven't noticed, the rating of this story has officially changed because of this chap and its shameless contents. If you ask me, it was long overdue. And one mystery (or THE mystery?) is finally revealed!

* * *

Having woken up to find Ryuuji gone, Rin decided to occupy his free time with cleaning and putting things in order around the flat. His back was better now after taking the long nap, but a feeling of doom overtook him more and more with each passing minute, even as he was moving around, keeping his hands busy and pretending that everything was alright. He was alone again and only now fully realizing the unexpected sense of comfort Ryuuji's presence had brought into his new, dreadful existence, a sense of security which he would lose very soon. The worst was that he'd gotten used to it in this short time, reason for which he was so horribly scared right now.

The half-demon boy halted in mid-movement, a plate still in hand above the sink, and watched his cat familiar intently. Kuro was still curled up at the end of the couch, dozing against the backrest, and Rin wondered warily if in his full form the Sidhe would have amounted to anything against Igor Neuhaus and his ghoul familiar. Probably not (and he wouldn't have risked getting Kuro hurt anyway). No, Astaroth and the others were supposed to protect him, but they weren't here now!

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and the brunet jumped, the cheap porcelain dropping from his hand and shattering in the sink with a startling clatter which woke up the cat. He gaped blankly at the dirty rectangle which was the doorframe, unable to make a single movement.

 _No! No, it's not… It can't be him, he wouldn't come here, he wouldn't-_

"Open up, young master, there is a message for you," said a squeaky but impatient voice.

Taking a deep breath, Rin finally budged from his spot and went to open the door, still feeling weak in the knees and his hand shook on the doorknob. The little demon tilted his colorful face upwards as he thrust a glittery-pink envelope into his prince's hand and offered him a scowl.

"You look bad, young master," Mephisto's familiar observed. "Worse than a human, you do. Get some sleep sometime!" With that he turned on his heels and was gone without another word, leaving the half-demon boy once again in the grips of his previous anxiety.

Rin stared for a long while at the envelope he was clutching, until the paper was damp with the cold sweat of his palm, before he finally decided to open it and read its contents.

* * *

Ryuuji twisted the key in the hole hurriedly and stormed inside, bag thrown aside the moment he'd stepped into the flat, and only paused upon noticing his classmate hunched oddly over the kitchen sink, nearly stiff with a hidden tension. His momentum was lost for but a second, because he walked up with large steps and grabbed Rin's shoulders, turning him around roughly.

" _WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH?!_ " the Aria all but yelled."It wasn't just torture, not just that god-awful wound on your back, he _raped_ you!"

Rin's eyes looked empty even as his gaze dropped to the ground, his face equally expressionless and his body limp. And obviously, with the Grigori's curse tightly around his throat he couldn't have been able to say anything. And even without it…

"H-How do you-…"

The husky whisper that were those choked words, broken mid-sentence, sounded to Ryuuji's ears like the worst thing ever and he inwardly shuddered. His fingers relaxed on the half-demon boy's shoulders and he pulled him tightly against his chest, burying his nose in the smooth, raven-colored locks.

"He sent me a message, while I was at the library, but wouldn't dare show his face, the bastard! Damn, now I understand why you're so scared, you're afraid he's coming after you again, that he'll hurt you again, but I'll take care of it, I'll find him and I-"

"Suguro, stop it!" Rin said abruptly, pulling away and looking the other in the eye sternly. "You _don't_ want him to show his face! You can't take him on, no-… not yet anyway and besides, what the hell are you saying?! He would go for the kill and you don't want blood on your hands! No, he needs to-…"

 _He needs to burn…_

He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to escape that terrible voice in the back of his mind.

"But I want to help you, to protect you, I have to do something, I want-…" the Aria trailed off, slumping visibly in defeat.

Right, getting Bon involved in this had been a horrible idea, horrible, just so fucking _wrong_. And to let it go as far as he had – unforgivable! No, his friend needed to go back to the others, to the Cram school, study for the authorization exam, lead a normal life around other humans, as sheltered as possible from the dark inner machinations of the Order.

"Bon… " Rin said as dryly as he could. "I was never pure to begin with, I'm a demon. And if that fuck really comes after me _here_ , I will torch him."

Ryuuji leaned back against the hard edge of the table, his scowl fading into an indefinite bitterness and not believing a single word. "As if… And what… what am I supposed to do now?" he asked no one in particular. Now the thought of going back to the school and facing everyone, Shima and Konekomaru's questions, Okumura-sensei, the other teachers – _that beast of a man_ very likely being among them - seemed even more unbearable. What was the point of the authorization exam anyway? He'd joined the Cram school for the knowledge and training itself, but working for the Order afterwards was not compulsory, was it? He could always just go back to the temple in Kyoto, if-….

… _but what about Okumura? I know what he's trying to do, but I can't just leave him, just walk away like none of this has ever happened…_

"I don't care what you say. You've always been like that – trying to handle everything on your own, as if you had no one to care for you in this world, and you have no idea how much it pisses me off! You need help and I want to help you, damn it!" His back straightened with renewed determination and he towered above the smaller teen.

Rin exhaled slowly, audibly and moved closer, tangling his fingers with the Aria's and tilted his head until his lips were just below Ryuuji's ear. "Then help me forget him," he whispered.

Ryuuji felt a cold but not entirely unpleasant shudder down his spine at the implication – and it was _obvious_ from the other's tone in a way which left no room for doubt - and lifted his hand to cup the half-demon's boy face, rubbing his thumb over the pale cheekbone, surprised at its porcelain smoothness. Rin was observing him with half-lidded eyes now, a mixture of temptation and challenge into the deep blue of that gaze. And then the shudder became a flaming urge and his hungry fingers tugged at Rin's hair as the Aria kissed him roughly driven by want and newfound despair alike, traveled down his body and eventually gripped the back of his thighs, lifting him up.

' _Last night you asked me to not hurt you, not to do_ this _'_ Ryuuji wanted to say when they were in the bedroom, tucked under the sheets skin on skin and all their clothing was lying in a messy heap next to the futon, his lips on Rin's and the half-demon boy's arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, even if now, sober, there was an urgency to his friend's movements, a silent need he'd carefully kept hidden so far, a need to be rid of his body's memory of the _other_ 's touch, but Ryuuji lacking the experience couldn't judge it, couldn't say if it was right or wrong, he could only be concerned about not making things worse.

"W-what are you waiting for?" Rin asked softly, when they at length pulled away for breath.

On top of him, the Aria shifted and propped himself up on one elbow, looking uncertain. "I don't know… I mean maybe you should-….?"

"No, Bon, it has to be _you_."

"Okay, but how do I-"

The half-demon boy stretched his arm and pointed to a small plastic recipient on the side of the bed, half-filled with a clear liquid of sorts. "Use that, it's… uh…"

"I know what that is, I live with Shima, remember?" Ryuuji grumbled rapidly, cheeks flaring, and snatched up the tiny bottle.

Rin exhaled audibly. "I only… I mean when I'm in pain and I really can't sleep and the other stuff is not working I-"

"You don't have to explain, damn it!"

He pressed a quick kiss to the tip of Rin's nose, then proceeded to tease his lips with his own as he fumbled blindly with the bottle, increasingly nervous and alert to his friend's every breath. His fingers trembled impatiently, exploring the smaller teen's thigh as he struggled to take it slow, but it was hard, so hard when his own body was pulsing with want and Ryuuji was literally shaking when at length pushed in and the new sensation was just-…

"A-Are you okay?"

For a moment the half-demon boy looked like he'd forgotten how to breathe, but then nodded quickly. "Bon, kiss me," he whispered and the Aria crushed their lips together clumsily, stifling his own moans as he settled into an erratic rhythm of movement, in the same time the fingers of his free hand closing around Rin, now with the assuredness a of familiar gesture.

Alas, it was over much too soon.

"I-I'm sorry… I'll… fix it…" Ryuuji muttered, mortified with embarrassment, nose buried into the side of his classmate's neck as they both panted. Rin was still hard and hot in his hand and his hips thrust into his fist ('please don't stop') and he apologized again, even as Rin's fingers stroked the fuzz on his cheeks and treaded through his unruly hair with just the right amount of tenderness and pressure. That alone was enough to get him hard again in almost no time, flaming want sweeping anew and he straightened, gripping the smaller teen's thighs and, adjusting their position a bit, thrust in roughly.

"H-Hey! Don't-…"

The Aria nearly panicked for a second, especially when Rin's choked protest morphed into a deep-throated growl and he felt something awfully like claws grazing his bare back. And then-

"Fuck, yeah… t-there!"

That one jolt of pleasure was so good, so overwhelming that Rin moaned loudly, his body arching off the mattress and legs wrapping around the older teen's waist while on top of him Ryuuji was now just sheer power of wild muscles pumping with a sense of absolute abandonment. And he'd never felt so unrestrained, so free…

"Should have… h-aaahhh, f-fuckin' …hah… done this… l-long ago," Ryuuji growled, eyes closed and damp hair falling wild on his forehead, and Rin smiled.

* * *

Ryuuji opened his eyes to find Rin's face hovering curiously over his own, as the half-demon now laid on his front, propped up on his elbows.

"Are you… okay?" the Aria asked softly, a bit embarrassed.

The brunet nodded, lips stretching into a small smile. "So, what do you think?"

The older teen sighed softly, staring up pensively at the cracked ceiling. "Well, I don't know why but it kind of reminds me of that time in practice when the leaper was chasing us and I…" he averted his gaze feeling himself blush. "I tripped you."

Rin's thin eyebrow shot up in genuine surprise and he tilted his head, the small smirk still lingering at the corner of his mouth. "So back then you actually wanted to-"

"No!"

"So, it's like a… a sport," the half-demon boy concluded.

"OKUMURA!"

Ryuuji rolled abruptly, pushing his classmate down on his back and pressed his lips on the boy's mouth roughly. He kissed him leisurely, all want-induced hastiness from before momentarily consumed, and eventually ended it with an almost-bite to Rin's bottom lip.

"Don't say that, you idiot," he admonished severely, still scowling a bit, after which his features softened. "Okumura… I want to see you."

Rin blinked questioningly, but the Aria's hand drifted suggestively to the hem of the sheet currently covering the both of them up to their shoulders. Indeed, they'd messed up the order of things a bit, but mostly on Ryuuji's assumption that his friend was bound to be body-shy given the circumstances. But now…

"I don't know if there's anything worth seeing," the half-demon boy murmured, eyelids dropping lazily. "But if you want…"

"Hmmm… "Ryuuji said. "It depends. How many piercings do you have in total?"

"Seven."

The Aria used his index finger to count – three silver studs on the left ear (and he couldn't help running his finger all the way up to the pointy tip which looked awfully chewable), two on his right ear (also an opportunity to tread his fingers through the luscious raven strands, brushing them away to reveal the ear in question) and another, tinier one nestled on the side of the small, rather sharp-tipped nose.

"That's six. But… " Ryuuji said tentatively, hand grasping the sheet and beginning to tug it downwards slowly. "I think I felt _something_ earlier…"

His gaze trailed at length over Rin's pale chest, rising and falling almost inconspicuously with every breath, over the supple stomach where taut muscles were only barely contoured under the smooth skin, until he finally discovered that wicked silver contraption adorning his belly button – one end a tiny ball, the other an arrowhead.

"Did it hurt?" he asked with the connoisseur's awe, lowering his head to better inspect it from up close.

"Like hell," Rin confirmed. "But I just wanted to do it, don't know what came over me. Maybe I'm turning into a… what are those, who come at night when you sleep and-…"

"Right. I'm sure that must be it," the other agreed, (inwardly rolling his eyes at the thought that Rin couldn't name incubi if his life depended on it) and proceeded to put his mouth on the dainty belly button, teasing the piercing with his tongue.

A small moan escaped Rin as he laid there with his eyes closed and with the corner of his eye Ryuuji spotted a sharp cat-like canine digging into the half-demon's bottom lip. Smirking against the wet, hot skin under his lips, the Aria slid his hand cunningly under the sheet which was now barely resting on the top of Rin's thighs.

* * *

The next time Ryuuji's eyes fluttered open it was day again, the futon was empty and an ominous silence filled his ears. The Aria jerked up fully awake all the sudden and rolled out of the sheets in an instant. Barely bothering to pull his boxers on, he rushed out of the bedroom and threw a dismayed glance around the flat, which was equally bare of any signs except from a conspicuous sheet folded in half and glaring white against the tabletop.

" _Dear Bon,_

 _Mephisto has ordered me to go back and surrender myself to the True Cross Order. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you anything about it last night. Please forgive me. Also, please focus on studying for the exam, or Shura will rip my head off._

 _Rin"_

 _ **To be continued**_


	16. Intermission - Consequences

**Consequences**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! It's a busy period at work for me, hence the slow updates in all my endeavors but hell, I figured that I need to write and this story is so close to my heart :) Now, I have to warn you, this intermission half-chapter I decided to put up as an extra to the already established chapter plan I have is really dark and not for the faint of heart, so if you feel like skipping it, by all means do. There's life after that as well.

* * *

Rin could barely stand. He was tired, so tired and the light was too strong, hurting his eyes even if there was no sun shining. The wind was chilly too, and the half-demon boy was shivering – he was only wearing a light t-shirt and track pants and his feet were bare – and all that noisy crowd which surrounded them was suffocating. They were in the upper square of the True Cross town, usually deserted but now packed with excited and angry-looking people gathered around the podium assembled in the middle, surrounded by a row of armed men in black True Cross Order uniforms.

"What are we doing here, Yukio?" Rin asked, turning to his brother who stood stiffly by his side, eyes trained forward with a blank expression.

The younger twin didn't answer, but the brunet began to discern distinct words in the buzz of the crowd which had been only a blur of noise until then – _DEMON_ … _SATAN'S SPAWN!_... _BE CLEANSED! CLEANSED!... ABOMINATION!… MUST DIE!… OFF WITH HIS HEAD! –_ and he grimaced in pain _,_ gripping his aching forehead with his fingers. What the hell was going on?! He couldn't comprehend, couldn't-…

"I'm cold, Yukio," Rin grumbled weakly, hugging himself and curling his toes helplessly on the icy cobblestones. "I want to go back to the dorms!" He looked away, for a possible path through the crowd away from the center of the square, but before he could leave his spot his brother gripped his arm firmly and held him in place.

"Wha-"

"It won't be much longer now," Yukio replied, as if irritated by the other's fidgeting.

Rin scowled and tried to yank his arm off, but his twin refused to let go, fingers closing ever tighter. The buzz increased, the shouts got louder and louder, and he saw the people clearing the way for a group of exorcists in uniform. The group advanced towards the podium and when they reached it, the half-demon boy noticed that they were bringing a prisoner.

It was a young boy, blindfolded and with his hands cuffed behind his back, he was stumbling at every step as they pushed him forward roughly, but even so, his identity was unmistakable.

Rin gasped, eyes widening and suddenly unable to breathe as he looked at the boy who was wearing exactly the same clothes as he was, was just as sheet-pale and thin and the same subdued tail curled between his legs. Yukio held him tighter, even wrapping an arm around his brother's torso from behind to keep him from struggling.

A wooden crate of sorts, no, a wooden block was brought up onto the podium and the two men standing behind the boy forced him down on his knees in front of it.

"No! No, let go! Yukio, let me go! LET ME GO!" Rin begged and uselessly tried to push his twin's iron-hard arm away.

"It will be over quickly," Yukio said again, calmly and coldly, raising his free hand to grip the half-demon's jaw and turn his head forward. "Look, Rin. I want you to look," he added smoothly, almost gently.

The Paladin's sword gleamed wickedly in the light as it was raised above the block and the prisoner and Rin squeezed his eyes shut, he heard the swish of the blade piercing the air in that sudden, deadly silence, followed by the thud of something dropping and rolling onto the boards of the podium. Only he couldn't help opening his eyes again when the crowd broke into mad cheers, just in time to see the severed head being collected from the widening puddle of blood, held up for everyone to see and then tossed into a black plastic bag.

* * *

Rin sat up, suddenly wide awake and panting violently, and quickly leaned over the edge of the bed, in desperate need to empty the contents of his stomach. Only it was empty to begin with and he only coughed and coughed until his throat and chest began to hurt and he felt a slow but steady trickle of blood running from his nose.

"Easy now, easy, easy, it was only a bad dream," said a voice and the teen finally looked up and turned his head, noticing a woman sitting at the other end of the bed. She was thin and olive-skinned, with piercing eyes of a dubious golden color and her white hair fell in a long braid over the official robe of the Grigori Council.

Right.

The half-demon boy had been in the Vatican dungeons before, this deep, disturbing darkness only broken by pale torches and narrow light shafts wasn't unfamiliar, although now that his torso was bare that damp cold was so much worse than before. Still heaving, he made an effort to remember how the hell he'd ended up here _again._

…meeting up with Mephisto, then using a port-key to get directly into the Vatican headquarters… what else?

He stared blankly at the worn stone squares of the floor, now stained with small crimson droplets.

…the long, empty hallway leading to the Great Hall of the Grigori council… walking… walking… it had taken fucking forever to get there and then the two guards at the door, Rin had said something to them, he'd tried to explain… but they'd fled in horror anyway.

What else? He was getting dizzy by now and the dirty contours of the stone squares were starting to fade before his eyes.

…yes, that bright, golden hall, red and gold, enormous, blinding with too much light, Rin had tried to look up to where the Grigori were and say something, explain why he was there, but then-…. Right, the Paladin was there too, he'd started to shout something Rin was unable to make out, suddenly he was feeling horribly ill, then burning pain had exploded at the bottom of his spine and his legs had given out, blood gushing from his nose and mouth and… he'd collapsed on the black-and-white marble and he had been out like a light, before Angel could even get near him.

"Lay back down," the woman instructed, gripping his shoulder with a bony hand, dry and wrinkled like a claw, and gently pushed him back onto the mattress. His face was then tilted upwards and she used a damp cloth to wipe his forehead and clean the blood off his face.

Snorting lightly, Rin glanced at the thick grates making up one wall of the tiny cell, beyond which the corridor stretched like an accursed cavern.

"Am I… going t-to… be executed?"

The woman only tsked and shook her head in reply, pulling the blanket over his limp body up to his shoulders.

 _Go back to sleep now, little demon._

 _ **To be continued**_


	17. Healer's words

**Healer's words**

A/N – Hello everyone! Now, I know that you all hate me with a passion after the intermission chapter (but hey, that's me, a horrible little person) and it sure looked like things were seriously going down the drain, but you know how they say, 'it's gonna get bad before it gets good'. Or that was a song? Idk, I don't really remember right now, but you get the idea. So don't despair just yet, because the glorious Mephisto Pheles and his purple pants are here to brighten your day ;) Also, some things are finally explained.

* * *

Up in the gilded balcony hosting the usual seats of the Grigori council, Lord Melchior stood and clasped his hands together, his unseen eyes trained on the blonde Paladin and the report folder in his hands.

"To conclude on this matter then," Melchior stated, "Are we absolutely certain that the wielder of the Mortal Instrument blade and the perpetrator of the rape of Rin Okumura are one and the same, namely the Upper First Class Exorcist Igor Neuhaus? Do we have conclusive evidence?"

Arthur A. Angel nodded. "Indeed, milord. I have asked a graphologist to compare the anonymous note written by the culprit to all the handwritten reports in the archive and thus the identification was made. And later on, when I confronted the man, he did not deny it. "The Paladin paused and cleared his throat, fidgeting. "Furthermore… it turned out that Neuhaus has a sense of entitlement to the son of Satan and he also seems to believe that the Order and… I suppose the Council as well… acknowledge his entitlement."

"What do you mean?!" the oldest of the Grigori inquired, over the others' muffled gasps.

Arthur scrunched his face, clutching helplessly at the file he was holding. "I mean that he… uh… thinks that he had the right to do what he did…", he said uncertain, not so much frustrated by the inability to explain Neuhaus's lunacy in a coherent manner as by the fact that the man had subsequently escaped him and now here he stood, empty handed.

"It's very simple, really," the Healer observed, breaking the young man's embarrassed silence. "Igor Neuhaus has lost his wife during the Blue Night, so his logic is that since Satan took his spouse, he has the right to take Satan's son as a replacement. At least that's what he told the boy during the test, I _saw_ it in his memories. He made his point very clearly and very openly."

Lord Melchior half-turned and threw an invisible glance from under his hood towards the golden-eyed hag simply known as the Healer and who had always been a pain in his side. He snorted audibly, turning his attention to the Paladin.

"And what is this anonymous note you mentioned? What does it say? And where did you find it?!"

Now the blond looked even more troubled than before, opened the file and leafed through it rapidly, then cleared his throat awkwardly once more upon stumbling on the respective page.

"It was… ah… left in the Cram School library, back at the True Cross Academy, milord. In the book of one of son of Satan's classmates. An Exwire, milord. And it says, well, _'Guess what, your friend Okumura was the best fuck I've ever had! As expected of a demon…'"_

Melchior slammed his palms on the railing. "And _this_ man is still at large… somewhere out there! Doing _Hell knows what_?!"

"Fret not, Paladin," the Healer said smoothly. "Igor Neuhaus will come back. Now that the son of Satan is here, Neuhaus will come back for him."

* * *

"Eins, zwei, drei!"

With a puff of purple smoke the King of Time popped up in the middle of the dark corridor, right next to the Healer who was heading for the dungeons, falling in step with the woman.

"So," he began, "I hear things are finally drawing towards a conclusion. Any whiffs of… reform? After all, this whole unfortunate incident did happen under the Grigori's rule…"

"Not on my shift," the Healer replied simply.

"Oh, I know, I know, but it's just that I was naturally disappointed to see that no one is taking any responsibility…"

She laughed. "My dear Sir Pheles, I refuse to think that someone like you could ever be so naïve. The True Cross Order is an institution just like any other, of course no one takes any responsibility for anything. Consider yourself pleasantly surprised if Melchior issues as much as an official apology. But speaking of responsibility… and politics, unless you had a plan of some sort, this 'unfortunate incident' is just as much your fuck-up as it is theirs."

Mephisto pouted. "Really, is it too much to ask to have Melchior removed from his seat?! He's been occupying it for the last two hundred years, I have had it with him! And there's ground for me to ask it too – there just have been too many hiccups as of late, you said it yourself – you came back to the Vatican now after only three years away, to find Fujimoto dead and things gone down the drain. Think only of Ernst Egin, they let him run amok and nearly bring about the apocalypse!"

"Ernst Egin misled everyone," the Healer stated, not without a note of sarcasm."They truly believed in the purity and selflessness of his intentions, and so on. It was a dreadful disappointment, I was told."

"And what of Igor Neuhaus? I confess that I only spared his life – even if he threatened to ruin _everything_ \- in the hopes that when he is apprehended by the Order, there _will_ be a proper trial."

"And?"

"And that some long-awaited results will come along with it!" Mephisto dug under his cloak and produced a hardcover file. "Look, my dear. Someone has stumbled upon this in the archives a short while ago. It seems that, between these very walls," he pointed vaguely towards the dungeons ahead, "something similar has happened one hundred and fifty years ago, to a human girl."

The Healer snatched the file with a claw-like hand and fixed it with a narrowed gaze. Slowly, she tilted her head until it nearly touched the demon's shoulder.

"So, you are saying…"

"It's quite clear from the transcripts that Melchior knew about this unfortunate occurrence… and he saw fit to cover it up," the King of Time murmured seductively. "I think it's time to dig up the dead."

* * *

"You asked for me, sir?"

Yukio was already tense, sensing an ominous vibe in the way Mephisto's light green eyes were watching him and his elbows were resting on the mahogany top of the desk, whole body reclined forward as if something interesting was finally about to happen. Even more so as the corners of the Headmaster's mouth twitched almost imperceptibly, holding back a grin.

"Indeed," said the Kind of Time neutrally. "I thought you would like to know that your brother is here."

"Here?"

The purple-haired demon nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid it became imperative to end his exile to Middle Strip after Igor Neuhaus openly threatened the already fragile truce between demons and the True Cross Order by coming to taunt your brother in public. At least… I suppose that's all he intended at the time, _to taunt_ , but who knows…"

"…. Igor Neuhaus?" The younger twin blinked, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. "You mean to say he's-…?"

"Quite so, yes."

Mephisto looked calm and indifferent now, that look of interest utterly gone and Yukio was confused, confused _and angry,_ because once more things seemed to be happening over his head, beyond his knowledge or control, just like when Rin had been taken away from him and just like when the higher-ups had refused to provide any information about the subsequent investigation related to Rin's test, had refused as much as to confirm that there was any investigation at all! And now Mephisto was throwing this bit this like it was nothing! _Neuhaus…_ He should have known! He should have-

"How long have you known this?!" he inquired, momentarily disregarding that maybe he was crossing the line with his superior.

The King of Time sighed. "Oh, not that long. In fact, not until he decided to step forward and _make it known_."

"He… confessed?"

"You can say that." Mephisto waved his hand dismissively, clearly unwilling to go into further detail. "Don't you worry, he will be taken care of, I promise you," he added smoothly, head tilting, and for some reason to Yukio those soft words sounded deceitful and poisonous.

The younger twin blinked and tried to pull himself together, even if there was slightly too much to take in all the sudden. "And you said… that my brother is here?" He was both relieved and wary of this last piece of news, the last time he'd wanted to see Rin… things had just gone so horribly wrong! _I could never forget that look on his face, that pure, unadulterated horror…_ It had literally made his heart ache.

"Ah, yes," the demon confirmed. "Um, I'm afraid though that he's in the Vatican's dungeons again. But you can visit him, of course," he explained, again like it was nothing. Like he was toying with Yukio right now and this whole thing was incredibly entertaining.

The boy froze, all color draining from his face in an instant. What did that mean?! Rin had done everything they'd asked, he'd passed that damned test! Were the Grigori still unsure, still suspicious of him?! Was it because of his absence and dropping out of Cram School?! Or maybe…

"…did he do something?"

Mephisto shook his head. "Eh, a minor breach of protocol, showing up at the Council Hall without an appointment and a proper escort, they said. The guards just turned tail and fled at the mere sight of him, without waiting for as much as an explanation, the idiots."

Yukio felt his knees go weak – the Grigori certainly wouldn't take it so lightly and the Paladin was bound to make a big problem out of it too, such that he was quite sure no one else but Mephisto would regard it as a 'minor breach'! _'And I bet he did that because you ordered him to, you bastard!'_ he wanted to shout in the other's face, to punch that damned, content smirk off his face, but all he could do for now was to keep his tears from spilling.

"But there's some good news too – the Healer has finally returned to the Vatican and has taken care of your brother's wound, as well as that… ridiculous curse Lord Melchior had put on his mouth. So he will be alright now, at last. Beware of the Healer though, people who read minds can be extremely unpleasant…"

But Yukio barely heard that last part, having already turned on his heels and rushed through the door, he didn't know who the Healer was nor did he much care in this very moment, he _had to_ see his brother.

Now.

* * *

The Vatican's dungeons were a dreadful sight even for the visitor not intended for their bowels and once he had passed the two guards at the main entrance Yukio gave in to the urge to hug himself as he walked. He was shaking now, from the cold – why the hell was it so freezing down here?! – and from sheer fear of what was to come, of what he was about to see, every step and every thought taking him further and further from the happy outcome he so desperately craved. He so wanted to pull Rin into his arms and hold him tightly, confess all of his sorrow and remorse and promise, swear by all angels that he would protect his brother from all the evil of this world! _No one will ever touch you again, no one will ever hurt you again, Rin, I swear! I swear!_ But that was a bitter lie, a lie because Yukio was helpless, he couldn't protect his brother, someone else was pulling the strings and they were - both of them - limp, disarticulated puppets driven by someone else's unseen hand, he'd seen it plainly in Mephisto's eyes.

There were another two guards at the top of the stairs leading to the bottom level – the highest security level – and the teen wiped his eyes behind the spectacles quickly before reaching them and presenting his authorization.

"Last cell on the right," replied one of the armed exorcists sternly. "The Healer said you'd come, she's waiting for you."

Yukio nodded curtly and started down the stairs, giving no indication of how disturbing that information had actually been. Were there more bad news waiting for him?!

Down in the corridor someone was digging in the supplies closet and when the door was closed he saw an old lady, rather on the petite side, white hair swept into a simple bun at the back of her thin neck. She was wearing the distinctive and unmistakable Grigori robes, but unlike the rest of the Council members, her face was not hidden by a hood or veil. She had a folded blanket in her arms and when she looked up, the pair of piercing golden eyes sent a cold shiver down Yukio's spine. Suddenly, he felt like a tiny, helpless, sniveling child again.

"I n-need to see my brother," he said, voice breaking slightly.

"He's asleep now," the Healer replied simply, continuing to observe him in a fashion that was utterly frightening.

'In there?' Yukio wanted to ask, peering past her shoulder into the all-absorbing darkness of the dungeon and shivering from the cold even in his uniform coat. It looked so much like a tomb and the thought of Rin lying somewhere in there made his stomach cringe.

"It seems that Sir Pheles forgot to mention what happened to your brother," the Grigori said and sighed. "You see, the Mortal Instrument wound he'd sustained had not healed completely because typically some tiny fragments of the blade shatter and remain in the victim's body unless they're properly removed. When your brother walked on the hallowed ground of the Grigori Hall, they did a very bad number on him."

"A… bad number?"

"He nearly died," the Healer clarified. "Come."

She started towards the end of the corridor with small steps, clutching the rough blanket in her arms and Yukio followed, numb with dread.

"But… he's alright now, isn't he?" the teen asked, almost not daring to hope.

"His body is, but he will need a lot of rest for a while. Unfortunately, the holy fragments did a number on his mind too, he has awful nightmares and I don't know what to do about those just yet…"

Right, Yukio remembered – she could read minds, that was what Mephisto had said. It meant that she could… no, she _had_ read Rin's mind and she could tell him if his brother really-…

"He keeps having very vivid and graphic dreams about his head being chopped off, and I wonder where the hell that comes from," the Healer said neutrally. "And then there's other things…"

The younger twin flinched. "I-I think it's because at some point the Paladin wanted to… uh… but could you tell me if-"

The Grigori turned her head and threw a rapid glance at the boy, shaking her head. "People like me are very keen on confidentiality and on respecting the privacy of those we tend to. If there's anything personal you want to know, you will have to ask your brother when he wakes," she said and the young exorcist flinched again, feeling rebuked. "And speaking of that, if he does wake, please, be gentle. He's terrified."

"What… what's going to happen to him?"

She smiled lightly, offering the blanket to Yukio as she motioned towards the cell door. "If you plan to stay a while, make sure he stays tucked in, it's freezing in here. I'll be back in the morning." With that, she walked away without another word.

Fingers gripping the rough fabric in his hand, Yukio twisted the iron key left in the lock and slowly stepped inside the cramped cell where, on a small cot, his twin was fast asleep. He lowered himself on his knees on the cold squares of stone, picked up the limp tail hanging over the edge of the bed and tucked it in under the covers with automatic gestures, after which he unfolded the extra blanket and set it over the slumbering form, all the while wondering for how long he would have to endure seeing Rin lying out cold in a bed, lips chapped and cheeks without a drop of color, helplessly waiting for that dreadful moment when his chest would stop rising and falling.

He sought the older twin's limp hand under the covers and gripped it, the slender fingers of his brother feeling light and thin like bird bones in his own.

"Rin… I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry," he murmured, tears spilling at last and rushing down his cheeks to drip into Rin's raven strands as Yukio gathered him in his arms and embraced him tightly. "Please… Please… don't leave me!"

 _If your brother lives, he_ will _be the next Paladin, and before he is even twenty-five._

" _If_ he lives?" Yukio whispered, eyes widening in horror. "Are you planning to test him again or something?!"

 _No, this is a test for you._

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – Okay, so… I guess this chap is half-assed, there's too much politics and Rin is out cold. And a certain someone hates me even more. Damn, I'm sorry. Mea maxima culpa. I'll make it all better.


	18. Of love and other horrors

**Of love and other horrors**

A/N – Hello everyone! It seems that I was struck by sudden inspiration and so, aiming to please my dark muses who may or may not have a human nature, I have altered the chapter plan a bit to bring you this fantastic, much longer 'episode' that you are bound to enjoy (or really, really hate :)))))). So, like I said, enjoy!

 ** _Warnings:_** mentions of PTSD, some non-con and violence

 **Also, let me remind you that the plot of this fic takes place post anime season 1, in which Yukio's demonic side has been awakened. There, you have been warned.**

* * *

"Are you sure he'll come?"

"I'm sure. By now he must have found out that his prize is down here and he _will_ come for it. Warn the guards to be on standby."

Yukio stirred from his sleep at the sound of voices and his eyes cracked open. A dull ache at the base of his skull and an impressive stiffness in his neck immediately made themselves felt as the teen woke fully. He straightened his glasses and groaned at the pain present in his tormented body after he'd fallen asleep half-hunched over his brother, still cradling him in his arms. He saw that Rin had rolled away from him at some point during the night, also kicking off the blankets in the process, and now slept curled into a tight ball, tail wrapped around the rest of him like a small animal's.

Rin only had on a pair of sweatpants and the younger twin's gaze trailed down his bare back, along the spine, discovering nothing but flawless ivory skin where that horrid scar had been until recently. He also noticed that the tail ring was gone and flinched in dread. The examination was brief though, because Yukio saw the Healer, this time accompanied by none other than Arthur A. Angel coming and all he could do was scramble to his feet and collect the fallen blankets from the floor until they reached the cell.

The Healer – who was carrying a lidded bowl on a tray - offered him a small smile, but the look on the Paladin's face was ominous.

"Did you sleep here, kid? You don't look too well," she said.

"What's going on?" the younger exorcist inquired apprehensively, involuntarily making a move to block the way to the bed. He looked at Angel intently, but the blond remained silent, his lips set into a tight line. The Healer sighed. "What's going on?" Yukio repeated, nearly choking this time. "What are you going to do with my brother?!"

The Healer set the tray in a niche and shrugged. "I'll try to wake him and feed him, for now. But why don't you run off now and bring him some spare clothes? His own were drenched in blood when he was brought here."

Yukio blinked. Were they seriously trying to get rid of him?!

"Why is his tail ring gone?"

"Because his body must be allowed to recover without any such impediments," the Grigori woman said simply, rolling up her sleeves with slow, meticulous movements. "Also, I think he's had enough torture as it is. You know how that thing works, don't you?"

"The son of Satan needed to be controlled," the Paladin cut in sharply. "Not everyone has your tricks!"

"Indeed," the Healer agreed lightly, not heeding the rude comment. "By the way, the Paladin is here to make sure that we won't get any nasty surprise visit from Igor Neuhaus, since that would be really unfortunate on top of everything else." _And not just to annoy us first thing in the morning…_

Yukio paled, a cold shudder running down his spine upon hearing _that_ name again. "You mean-… he'd come here? Why?!"

"Because," said the Healer, who had slipped on the other side of the bed and had proceeded to examine the still slumbering Rin. "Even if his act was undoubtedly one of revenge and hatred, his passion for your brother is genuine." She paused, scratching her head as she observed the teen's perplexed expression. "What I mean is that he finds your brother very attractive, in the way someone would find an incubus attractive," she clarified, in a neutral tone.

The Paladin snorted, hard to say whether in amusement or indignation.

"My brother is not an incubus!"

"Clearly. Neither of you is," the Grigori woman stated, waving her hand quickly in dismissal. "Now off you go."

* * *

Unlike his brother, Rin had not been so easily pulled from slumber by the buzz of voices around, still on the edge of sleep. He did finally wake when his shoulder was shaken gently and realized that he was frozen stiff, only uncurling from his fetal position when a blanket was wrapped around his shoulders. Still plagued by the ghost aches of past nightly horrors, the half-demon boy had to go again through the whole exercise of remembering where he was and how he'd ended up there. And this was quite the bad news, actually.

Rin struggled a bit to prop himself up on one elbow at first, then sit up fully. The Healer leaned forward to look at his face and even reached out to pinch his cheek between her claw-like fingers, ignoring his flinch upon noticing the Paladin's presence.

"Still no color here," she said. "But you do look a bit more rested. Are you hungry?"

There was food? Rin could smell something appetizing nearby, a rich, meaty scent which became vaguely appealing, but then he also smelled something else – his brother's scent lingering close. On impulse, he leaned in and sniffed the rough pillow next to him, Yukio's scent now beyond doubt.

The Paladin snorted disdainfully again, murmuring something out of which only the word 'beast' came out loud and clear and Rin's hand flew to his mouth instinctively as he straightened up, barely resisting the urge to curl up again. That was right, to the Order he was a beast and now he'd just proven it again. His gaze trailed warily from Angel's scowl to the Grigori woman's tanned, wrinkled face, on which he could read nothing. Only her unnaturally golden eyes seemed to hold a million secrets.

"My brother was here?" Rin asked shyly, pulling the blanket closer around his body. Damn cold! And why had Yukio come, now that-…? What more could he possibly want? To make sure Rin didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to? To give some more instructions?

The Healer nodded, standing up to retrieve the tray she'd set down earlier.

"What… what did he say?"

She shrugged. "Nothing important… He did say that you're not an incubus, for some reason I cannot fathom. I sent him to bring you some clothes, so I guess he'll be back soon."

Rin blinked a few times, uncomprehending.

"Come on, you must eat now," said the Healer, sitting down with the tray in her lap.

There was a fork next to the lidded bowl and the half-demon wondered if he should reach for it or not. If he didn't take it, they'd think he was a beast who used claws to feed, but if he did… they might think he wanted to use it as a weapon, to threaten them and try to escape? Mephisto must have informed the Order that he only wanted to surrender to them, but what if this was a test? What if everything was some sort of horrible, cruel, never-ending test?! He suddenly wanted to cry, the small bit of appetite gone.

" _Would you feel better if the Paladin stepped out?"_

Rin looked up brusquely, startled, but the Healer's lips hadn't moved, only her eyes observed him intently. He breathed out slowly, wondering if she could really… _speak_ in his mind or whatever this was. And was he just supposed to think the answer? How did this work?!

 _Yes,_ he thought anyway.

"Okay, here's how we're going to do this," she said, pulling out something from her pocket – a black, plushy sleeping mask. "Before anything else, I will need you to put this on."

A blindfold, the brunet realized and his panic soared. "Why?"

"Eh, I've never had children and I have no idea how to make someone eat something they might not want to," the Healer confessed. "I mean, you _will_ like it and your body needs it too, but it's best if… if it's a surprise," she clarified, waving her hand dismissively at the Paladin.

The image of the horrid gaebul fish (supposedly good for vigor!) prepared by Mephisto instantly popped into Rin's mind and he grimaced, even as he took the sleeping mask and put it on. He mentally braced for something really disgusting.

"The thing is," the Grigori woman said, gently taking his hand and guiding it towards the fork. "The Mortal Instrument, being a holy blade, nearly annihilated your demon half and without it you cannot live. So we must nourish it back to health, including with proper food. Just let your instinct take over."

" _But you will think I'm a beast"_

Rin did take a forkful to his mouth though, slowly and clumsily. It was meat – cold, raw and still covered in a thin sheen of blood. It was _delicious_. The contents of the bowl were gone almost in no time and he licked his lips at the end, taking the liberty to remove the mask as he set the fork back on the tray.

"T-Thank you…."

She smiled lightly. "We'll have a lot of work to do, little demon, but for now you will need more rest. Keep the sleeping mask. I'm sorry that I cannot give you any more Demon's Bane for now, at least until you're fully recovered. " She quirked an eyebrow. "And you'll have to quit smoking too…"

The half-demon boy leaned back on the pillows and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "I-It's alright. It doesn't hurt anymore," he said.

"No, but otherwise you're not well at all. We'll have to find another way to deal with the anxiety."

Speaking of, Rin briefly thought of asking what was going to happen to him, considering that he was being imprisoned. But he was afraid of the answer. He was afraid that Yukio would come back and make a fuss and didn't know how to ask to be spared of it. He was afraid that the Paladin might have a plan of his own to hurt him when the Healer was gone. He was afraid of everything, just horribly, horribly afraid.

* * *

Yukio hurried out of the dungeons in a fear-induced daze, all other daily duties forgotten, he shouldn't have left, he shouldn't have left! God, he shouldn't have abandoned his brother, lying helpless in that bed, at the Paladin's mercy! He didn't think that the Order would actually go through the trouble of protecting Rin from Neuhaus, no, _that_ must have been some lie to put his suspicions to rest!

He used the port-key and rushed out into the main corridor back at the Cram school, throwing a wild look around. It was still very early in the morning, would Sir Pheles even be at his desk at this hour?!

"Yuki."

The familiar voice, shy, subdued and echoing eerily in the empty hall startled the teen further and he flinched, suddenly self-conscious of his disheveled appearance as his hands instantly flew upwards to straighten the uniform collar and pull off the undone necktie. His hair must have been a mess too and fingers hastily combed through the front strands as he cleared his throat awkwardly before turning to meet his student.

Only upon doing so Yukio was instantly stunned by a sight far worse than he himself must have been presently. Shiemi Moriyama stood in the middle of the corridor, in one of those colorful pools of light allowed by the tall, stained-glass windows, an out-of-character, complete and utter mess. She was wearing a grotesque, skimpy version of a school uniform, black make-up was smeared across her doll-like cheeks and her lips were horribly white under the remnants of rouge.

"S-Shiemi… w-what… wha-…"

The blonde tilted her head slightly and a small, sad smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I'm done, Yuki," she said, whispered almost, "I'm quite done with all this…"

"No!" The young teacher finally snapped out of the initial shock, straightened his shoulders and walked towards her, determined to deal with this rationally – whatever the hell this was and even if it was the last damned thing he needed right now – because Shiemi was his student and his responsibility and-… "Shiemi, I will have to talk to your mother-"

She snorted, forcing a wry, twisted smile on the edge of tears. "My _mother_?" Her small hand dipped into the messenger bag resting on her hip just before Yukio could reach and grab her wrist and pulled out a bunch of crumpled bills and brownish little bags, and held them up under his nose. "Here, she's right here! Talk to her!"

The whiff of Demon's Bane mixture reached Yukio's nostrils, but he shook his head even as the wheels started turning in his mind.

"Never enough money… never enough money… " Shiemi repeated numbly, letting the stuff drop to the ground. "What must I do more? Why can't I never, ever get what I want? Is it so much to ask?"

Yukio realized that she was drunk. Drunk with so many deep sorrows she'd been stuffing down and hiding behind that meek, dutiful smile for far too long. He gripped her upper arms forcefully, desperate to shake her from that accursed daze which made her eyes glazed and dead and her body limp like a rag doll's.

"Shiemi! You must never do this again!" the exorcist nearly shouted. "Promise me you'll never do this again! Promise me you'll never drink again!"

"I'm sorry, Yuki…" she murmured. "But if I don't do this – _right now_ – I will go mad."

In the next moment her small hands fisted in Yukio's coat lapels and she crushed her lips against his mouth, violently, desperately, making him taste smoke and alcohol and so many tears and feel the tremor of her body pressed flush against his.

* * *

After the Healer had left, Rin had tried to go back to sleep – indeed it would have been better if he was asleep again when Yukio came, he didn't have enough strength to deal with his twin just now – but could only doze on and off, wrapped tightly into the double blanket. At some point he could vaguely pick up some noises above – shouts and such reverberating oddly in the stone walls – but then there was nothing but silence again. The Order must have kept other _creatures_ in these dungeons aside from him.

After a while… there were steps drawing near, heard in a dreamy blur, still he did not stir. He did not open his eyes when the mattress of the bed dipped as someone sat on the edge, pretending to be fast asleep. He wouldn't face Yukio just yet….

But then an unseen hand reached out and began peeling the blankets off his slumbering form and the half-demon boy realized in utter horror that its owner couldn't have possibly been his twin. Neither was Yukio's breath labored with twisted anticipation, nor did he smell of smoke and dried blood and that subtle deathly stench which followed a ghoul tamer. Had he strayed into another one of those much-too-vivid nightmares?! Because it couldn't be true, Igor Neuhaus could have reached him again, not here, in the Vatican's dungeons, it was impossible, _impossible_!

Calloused fingertips explored Rin's shoulder and trailed down his bare arm and he futilely forced himself to breathe normally, to choke down the horror and not flinch, even as he was delicately rolled face-up.

"I know you're not sleeping," Igor Neuhaus said, his voice soft and for now void of discernible intent. His large hand too was warm and gentle and would have been enjoyable had it only belonged to _anyone else_ but him. "You have no reason to be afraid, I won't hurt you anymore. Back then you were a wild beast and you needed to be tamed, but now… Now you're a good boy, aren't you?"

The hand now trailed down his bare torso and Rin wanted to do something, anything, rip off the smile he could guess on the bastard's face, stop him from touching, rip off his fucking throat even, but his body was limp, disobedient, he could do nothing but lie there helpless, waiting to-… And Neuhaus must have been lying, he'd clearly come back to finish the job and it was only a matter of time until he would feel that dreadful, burning blade biting into his flesh again!

"Ohhhh, would you look at that," the exorcist observed. Upon coming to the Vatican Rin had removed all his visible piercings, keeping only his belly button one (which Suguro had liked so much) and now Igor's thumb brushed appreciatively over the tiny silver jewel and the soft skin around it. "So beautiful… and you didn't have it before! Did you get it done for me?"

How did he know?! How could the bastard know that Rin _had been_ thinking of him when he was lying on that sinister metal table back in Middle Strip, had been sickly entertaining the thought of Neuhaus enjoying the bloody, teary mess he'd been back then?

"For now I only came to see if you were alright," the exorcist went on, using his free hand to wipe the fresh tears off Rin's cheeks. "But I promise, I'll take you to live with me. I've a big apartment, with a nice kitchen, you'll cook for me," he said teasingly, hand now advancing lower and rubbing the boy's hip.

The half-demon finally managed to muster enough willpower to move, attempting to curl away from the unwanted touch, but Neuhaus lunged forward, effectively trapping him over his own weight. Rin tried to struggle, to push the other away even as he could hear and feel his own heartbeat much too strong, much too quick and it became hard to breathe.

"Hey, hey, where do you think you're going, _Rin_?" his tormenter chuckled, trying to turn the boy's face so that he could kiss him, "I was forgetting, I also have a nice, big, comfortable bed and I can't wait to lay you in it," Neuhaus whispered, his other hand dipping decidedly under the waistband of Rin's sweatpants.

Thankfully, his prey lost his consciousness before he could feel anything else.

* * *

The dungeons look oddly deserted and quiet as Yukio rushed back after taking Shiemi home (her mother was not there – fortunately, because he had no idea how to deal with that just yet!), clutching a bundle with spare clothes and two extra blankets. There were no guards in sight anywhere – at least the teen failed to notice the two gruesomely mangled bodies lying further away on the corridor a short distance from the staircase leading to the bottom level - but what he did stumble onto eventually was the Paladin, lying face-down on the steps in an undignified heap.

The young exorcist kneeled and rapidly checked the man's pulse – he was alive, thankfully – and proceeded to inspect him for any serious injuries, even as a sinister suspicion began to creep on him.

' _By now he must have found out that his prize is down here and he will come for it'_

He'd heard that! He'd heard it clearly even if he was barely waking, but it wasn't possible, was it?! The Council couldn't have thought of using Rin as bait to capture Neuhaus, they wouldn't have!

Yet they had. The younger Okumura stood up clenching his fists, abandoning both the bundle and the unconscious Angel he could do nothing for at the moment and broke into a run towards his brother's cell, gun at the ready.

Igor Neuhaus was still there, leaning over his Rin's body, lips brushing teasingly against the half-demon's pointy ear, whispering something just as he was touching him, touching him _again_ and Yukio raised the gun, aiming for the head. The older exorcist looked up at the sound of the safety being pulled back and offered him a smirk.

"You can't kill me," he stated with a hint of amusement. "Neither of you can kill humans, quite a pair of useless demons you are, Okumura. Daddy Satan must be terribly disappointed," Neuhaus added, stroking Rin's cheek with his knuckles. "And I have some more bad news – see, I'm afraid that your brother can't get it up…"

Yukio was barely aware of his own movements as the wave of pent-up, age-old rage he'd stuffed down swept over him like hot lava, making him toss the gun and lunge forward, fingers extending into claws, a deep, beastly growl erupting from his throat. Neuhaus jumped from his path and pulled something out of his belt – something white and gleaming, a perfect blade.

 _A Mortal Instrument._

The mere glow of it hurt Yukio's eyes, making them water, but did nothing to stop him from grabbing the tamer and slamming his body against the wall with all his strength. The blade wheezed past his shoulder, cutting into his uniform sleeve and grazing his skin, and a burning pain shot through his upper arm, fuelling his rage. He punched, clawed and kicked, growling and screaming out of control, even after Igor Neuhaus had become a bloody, unconscious heap at his feet.

"Yukio…. stop."

The younger twin barely heard that faint voice through his own ragged pants, yet his arms dropped limply at his side and he turned, blinking owlishly. His shoulder throbbed and he felt suddenly dizzy, gaze trained onto his brother, who was awake and staring at him with an unreadable expression.

"Why?" Yukio murmured, numbly. "Why, Rin?" It hurt horribly and he realized he was going to pass out any moment now, with the surge of adrenaline gone.

"Because you're… not a monster."

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Ryuuji (and my sweet baby Kuro!) they'll be back in the next chap, so stay tuned!


	19. A bit of hope

**A bit of hope**

A/N – Hello everyone! I'm sure that by now you must be wondering just where the hell I have been all this time and to give you all an honest answer – I've been right here, not as much unwilling as unable to update, begging my muses to give me something, ANYTHING! But no. My lesson in this writing life is that things happen at the right time and not a moment sooner… or something. Anyway, all muse-related crap aside, enjoy the new chap!

* * *

"A-Are you sure he's okay?!" the Aria stuttered, each step he took down the white-walled hospital corridor stirring new dreads inside of him, like coiling snakes.

"Yeah, kid, he's fine, I told you," Shura replied with a sigh, for the umpteenth time that morning. "I'm not so sure how fine are you though, you look like shit and just when you should be studying for the exorcist authorization exam. If you fuck that up on my shift, Ryuuji Suguro, you won't die a quick death," she warned.

Ryuuji had spent the past week in hell. After leaving Okumura's apartment in Middle Strip with Kuro in tow, he'd gone back to the dorms in a zombie-like state, utterly frightening his two roommates. Rin's cat familiar had stuck to him like glue, probably sensing a part of its beloved master somehow _imprinted_ on him, bonded to him and holding Kuro close had been bringing him unexpected comfort as well, in the middle of terror. It was as if each of them was desperately clinging to the little bit of Rin they had left in this world. And eventually, he'd relented under Shima and Konekomaru's persistent questioning and had blurted out everything… well, minus _certain parts_ , but he'd told them all the things he wasn't supposed to – namely about Rin's 'test' and the horrible things he'd suffered at the hands of the Grigori Council, who had just gotten his hands on the half-demon again.

"So, what now? What will they do with him?" the teen asked, despite dreading the answer. But the uncertainty was worse than anything, he reckoned.

"I'm not sure yet," Shura shrugged in a rather helpless fashion."There will be a hearing soon, since… "She paused, wondering whether that certain piece of information should have been shared with this boy who had already been through way too much shit for someone his age. In the end she decided that it was better if he stopped wondering about it to no end. "Since Igor Neuhaus was finally captured. They will trial him, that's for sure. As for Rin, he still needs rest… but I have no idea in what way he will be put to use in the service of the Order.

 _So… Igor Neuhaus. That man was Igor Neuhaus._

But Ryuuji quickly dismissed that bit of news, finding that last sentence particularly ominous. "But they said that if he doesn't pass the authorization exam… And he can't, there's no time left to study, he doesn't stand a chance!"

"There isn't much time left and you should use it wisely. The future Paladin wants you to pass and I wouldn't make him mad if I were you. You know how short-fused he is."

The Aria stopped dead in his tracks upon hearing those words and suddenly being met with the sight of an old woman wearing the typical Grigori robes, dry and witch-like and with bright, unnatural golden eyes. Before he could even think of something to say or ask in reply, the woman barely spared him another glance as she passed by them with slow, measured steps, and disappeared around the corner, leaving him utterly perplexed.

"Um… what was _that_?"

The redhead snorted. "That was the Healer, she is the one taking care of Rin for now. She says the darnedest things, but I heard she's usually right…"

"I've never heard of her…" Ryuuji muttered absently, inwardly pondering what that was about, with the future Paladin. Could she have been talking about Okumura?! If not for the circumstances, that would have almost been amusing.

"Like I told you a while ago, kid, you're still just an Exwire. Lots of things you haven't heard of," Shura observed. "In there, I'll leave you to it," she added pointing to the last door on the left.

The teen took a deep breath and pressed his hand on the knob, still feeling nervous as hell. Was Okumura really alright? The Healer had seemed quite scary to him, if anything. That and he really didn't know what to say, what he should say, what he _wanted_ to say. He wanted Rin back with them at the Cram School, at any rate, but that just wasn't possible anymore.

The half-demon boy was lying in bed under a soft, plushy cover for once, dozing off, but his eyes snapped open the moment he heard the door opening, and propped himself up on the pillows. He looked much better at least, there was even a bit of color in his cheeks, he _almost_ looked just like before any of that awful shit had ever happened. His piercings were gone – Ryuuji noted with fleeting disappointment – but none of that strange, enchanting air about him had been lost, he noted. He also still looked very vulnerable and broken and upon spotting his classmate the expression on his face spelled out that he probably expected to be punched in the face or something.

Which wouldn't have been entirely undeserved, considering the shitty little message he'd left behind, Ryuuji realized. And while he'd intended to say something soothing and reassuring to his boyfr-… friend, something quite different came out as he opened his mouth.

"Okumura! Did you just fuck me and dump me?!"

Rin inhaled sharply and his eyes darted quickly to the door, making Ryuuji think that indeed, someone might actually hear him. Well, fuck! The Aria walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge, still glaring.

"N-no! I didn't, I just-"

"Just what? Couldn't you have told me the truth face to face?! Instead I woke up and you were gone!"

"I couldn't," the half-demon boy all but whispered, lowering his gaze. "Not when you were already mad because you found out about… about…"

"About Igor Neuhaus," Ryuuji supplied grimly.

"I didn't want you to do anything stupid, that's all."

 _Right, because that's your job_ , the Aria thought and snorted bitterly. "So you dumped me."

"I didn't dump you, damn it!"

"That so?"

Rin glanced up at him again, a bit uncertain, then sat up fully and leaned in, shyly pressing his lips against the Aria's. The taller teen wasted no time in wrapping his arms tightly around his thin frame, nearly pulling Rin into his lap. Damn, he had missed this, tasting the half-demon boy's soft lips, claiming his mouth so shamelessly and feeling the other's body relax in the warmth and safety of his embrace.

But only a few moments later Rin pulled away and turned his head, trying to push against his chest. "Just-just get back! Oh my God, it's happening again!" he whimpered.

"What's happening again?!" Ryuuji asked in alarm.

"It's ha-hahhh-" Suddenly Rin gasped and sneezed violently, a gush of blue flames erupting from his nose as he did, fortunately not in his classmate's direction. He then collapsed back on the pillows with a small moan, hand clamped over his nose.

"Oh, wow," said Ryuuji, chuckling. "That was impressive."

"It's not, I nearly set the sheets on fire earlier," his classmate grumbled, eyes closed in embarrassment.

"So much for controlling your flames," the Aria observed.

"I can control them when I'm controlling them," Rin said with a scowl. "Not when they take me by surprise!"

Ryuuji nodded and smiled, feeling the old impulse to smack him over the head just like whenever the half-demon boy used to say something particularly 'brilliant', like now. Instead, he reached out and treaded his fingers gently through Rin's bangs.

"Kuro moved in with me for now," he informed. "He's glued to me all the time, even if I know it's you he wants… I would have brought him with me today, but pets aren't allowed in the hospital. Just so you know he's okay. "He paused, taking a deep breath. "So, do you know what the deal is now?"

Rin sat up again, chewing on his bottom lip pensively. "Nah… not yet, but… I kind of accepted the idea that, you know, I have to serve the Order, just… do what they want me to. " He shrugged. "Anyway, if it's possible I want to ask Mephisto to let me keep the apartment in Middle Strip, at least… uh… You know, I haven't really talked to Yukio since I got back and I don't think… well I don't want to move back with him at the old dorms and stuff."

 _Yukio…_

Yukio had snapped and done some serious shit, to which there would be consequences, but frankly Rin didn't have the energy to even think about it right now. At least Igor Neuhaus was still alive… and still, just like himself, a pawn in Mephisto's game, whatever that was. Since his older brother had stated that simply killing the ghoul tamer, as Astaroth had suggested, would have been _too easy_ , it was obvious that he had a plan, damn that shit-head clown!

The Aria nodded, reaching out to grasp the half-demon boy's fingers with his own before leaning in and kissing him again, passionately.

"Damn it, Okumura, why do I fucking love you so much?"

* * *

Yukio woke up feeling like he'd spent many centuries trapped inside an inescapable darkness. The white, blinding light of the hospital room made him flinch and cover his eyes with his arm, a dull ache making itself present in his injured limb as he did so. His other hand reached uncertain towards the place a nightstand would normally be, in a blind search for his glasses, but someone else beat him to it.

"I've got them, _scaredy-cat four eyes_ ," a familiar voice said. "Here."

The teen removed his arm and made an effort to open his eyes, squinting. Shura was holding out his glasses for him and he snatched them from her hand almost apprehensively.

"Know what, you really stepped on the Paladin's foot this time," the redhead informed, before he could ask anything.

 _Stepped on the Paladin's foot?_ Yukio only remembered the Paladin lying unconscious on the steps down in the dungeons, struck by Igor Neuhaus in his attempt to get his hands on Rin again. Surely, he'd had nothing to do with it and there had been very little he could have done for the man right then and there.

"Damn, Baldie was really hoping to redeem himself after losing Neuhaus the first time, and now two people are dead and he screwed it up again. They only got him because _you_ beat the guy into a pulp."

Yukio blinked, hands falling limply on the covers after he'd put his glasses on. "Two people are dead…?"

"Yep. The guards in the dungeons, Neuhaus's ghoul ripped them to shreds before getting to the Paladin. Not sure why he was spared and got away with a knock-out, maybe Neuhaus thinks it in his best interest that Angel is not replaced soon. Who knows… So how are you, considering?"

"Considering that I stepped on the Paladin's foot?"

Shura sighed. "Considering you got wounded by a Mortal Instrument as well. Luckily the Healer was here to take care of it a.s.a.p."

Right, the Mortal Instrument…. The young exorcist had only a vague recollection of a white, glowing blade in the ghoul tamer's hand and his own hand flew instinctively to the injured arm, where he'd been cut. It had been just a little more than a scratch, but it had _burned_ horribly, the holy blade seeking to cleanse the impurity that was in… no, the impurity that _he_ was.

A demon.

A monster, claws and teeth bared, ready to rip apart, to crush, to destroy, driven by blind rage and hunger for revenge. In those very moments, there had been nothing even remotely _human_ left in Yukio, only the demon side he so loathed and dreaded had been fully exposed, exhibited beyond any doubt.

"I'm fine," the teen muttered through gritted teeth, hands fisting helplessly in the covers as he averted his gaze from the redhead. His inner tribulations weren't something he was willing to share with anyone, least of all her. "Is Neuhaus-…?"

"Still alive? Yeah," Shura confirmed. "Told you, _scaredy_ , you're the only reason we got him."

Still alive. But not because of him, Yukio thought morosely. No, that creature that _he_ had become wouldn't have stopped as long as there was flesh left on the bones and a drop of blood yet to spill, no, _Rin_ had to bring him back before there was a life on his conscience, pull him back to the light. _Again._

And how ridiculous this was, seeing how his brother was the one who had acknowledged his Satanic powers, his flames, not only he didn't hide them, he used them for show, for entertainment, it was almost as if he was _proud_ of them! And still, it was _Rin_ who had never hurt a human… and who had ultimately prevented _him_ from killing.

The door opened and Shura stood up, leaning in to briefly pat his good shoulder. "Hey… get some rest, okay? Rin is gonna need you at the trial. I heard it's gonna be ugly."

"Wha-… Wait, _what trial_?!"

"Igor Neuhaus's."

Yukio would have wanted to ask more, but the Healer walking into the room with a tray of medical supplies and Shura stepped out to give the Grigori woman the space to work. Only upon seeing her it dawned to the younger twin that he hadn't asked anything about Rin! Was he still in the dungeons?! Had Neuhaus hurt him?!

"What's going on with my brother?" he asked quickly, nearly choking.

"Your brother thinks I have chewing gum in my hair or something," the Healer replied unfazed.

"Wha-"

She huffed. "He tried to take that _unfortunate incident_ upon himself, that's what. I wonder which part of 'I can read his mind' did he not understand – like you youths say – 'for fuck's sake'."

Now that was really the last thing Yukio needed to hear, on top of everything else and a different kind of panic gripped him. "No, he was only trying t-to-… But he is loyal to the Order, I swear to you!"

"To tell you the truth, not only is he not loyal, he is also highly disrespectful too – he thinks we're a bunch of idiots," the hag said calmly, rummaging through the tray and picking up a pair of scissors. "Sadly, he is right for the most part. Could you hold up your sleeve?"

Yukio was speechless. Just _what the hell_ could have Rin said or done this time?!

"No, no," the Healer went on, beginning to cut through gauze carefully. "He too _says_ he's loyal, but he's just terrified because he finally understood that as long as he is unwilling and unable to hurt humans, the Order has him in their hands, there's no escape from it and that these hands will squeeze and crush him at the slightest sign of disobedience."

The young exorcist shook his head. "No, no! No, that's not-"

"Not what? Not true?" Her fingers were light as she removed the gauze and prepared a pad with antiseptic, but her dry lips were pressed into a tight, bitter line. "Oh, I think we have proven it more than enough already," she said. What she didn't say but the teen guessed regardless was that the same would probably apply to him too, now that his own nature was beyond doubt.

"I… I'm sorry. About Neuhaus… there's no excuse for my behavior. He'd hurt my brother and he was hurting him again and I couldn't think straight anymore, I just wanted to hurt him back…"

 _At least now you see why it has to be_ him _. Why it's better that_ he _has inherited the flames and not you._

Yukio cringed at the sound of those words in his mind, shedding light into the darkest corner of his soul – the corner which craved what he had been unfairly deprived of at birth.

"Oh, my dear boy," the Healer said suddenly, with unexpected softness, her bony fingers rising to stroke the side of his cheek ever so gently. "I am so, so sorry that a bunch of cruel, calculating old men have seen fit to repay _your_ loyalty by crippling your soul."

 _ **To be continued**_


	20. Some explaining

**Some explaining**

A/N – Hello everyone! So what do you know – I'm back with a new chapter! I must say, it's more than a year now since I've started this story and it's time for things to draw towards a conclusion… BUT not yet and until then I still have some surprises up my sleeve! I have a twisted mind so expect twisted things, people ;) Enjoy!

* * *

Rin had been allowed outside in the Vatican's hospital gardens for the first time since his return from Middle Strip. There were no guards around at a first glance, but he was sure that the Grigori Council must have had him watched carefully. He was lying on a chaise-longue after being bedridden for quite a while now, because he'd have to be recovered enough for Igor Neuhaus's upcoming trial.

The half-demon boy had also found that some things had changed after the Mortal Instrument wound had almost killed him. His hearing had gotten a lot sharper and could catch all the murmurs of doctors and guards in the hallways outside his room, and whenever someone was actually in front of him he could _hear_ their thoughts too. This had been the most disturbing discovery of all and at first he'd thought it was because of the Healer's peculiar habit of 'speaking' into his mind, until it had happened with others who couldn't possibly have had this power.

And what did this mean?! The implications worried Rin – if someone was to figure that out, the Grigori would only see an additional danger in his person, far greater than his flames, maybe even one beyond their control. And then what?!

"Your body is almost completely healed, but dealing with the rest will still take quite a lot of work," the Healer said, sitting down in front of him (ever faithful to another disturbing habit of hers which was to pop up from nowhere and scare the hell out of people!). "I was told that while you were in the hospital the first time you were not provided with any kind of trauma-related therapy."

Well, it certainly did Rin no good to be reminded of how insensitive everyone aside from Shura had been after his waking up in that awful state, especially Yukio. Just because they'd all assumed that being a demon meant he could take just about anything – since he always healed, didn't he?! – so it was alright to pretend it was no big deal…

"Look, it's none of my business," the Healer said neutrally. "But I'll just point out the obvious here, which I admit might not be as obvious to you as it is to anyone slightly older. Your brother is still a child under that tough front he thinks he has to keep up all the time and as such I'm afraid he's utterly unable to handle many more things than you might think. He just doesn't know how."

 _Probably…_

Rin had always had this notion that Yukio was his younger twin that he had to protect, but couldn't possibly have gone as far as to consider him a child, certainly not with how much more mature and poised Yukio always seemed to be… But then suddenly he remembered what Shura had asked him to teach Ryuuji and realized that the Healer was trying to tell him the same thing. That he had the ability to see into people's hearts even more than into their minds, and that this was his most precious quality, as much of a burden as it may have been…

"I'm not worried about my brother now…" he said after a while, biting his bottom lip, "I'm worried about the trial. I'm sure that Neuhaus will find a way to turn everything against me… say it was my fault, or that I somehow got him to do it. I mean since I'm a demon he could just say I'm an incubus or something…"

The Healer looked amused by the idea. "That's just ridiculous, everyone knows your mother was human, while the mother of all incubi and succubi is Lilith. And I know for a fact that your father and _my_ mother never had any children together. It's just out of the question."

Rin blinked. Well, if there ever was an explanation for her strange powers and her unnatural, golden eyes…

"You're a… _succubus_?"

"Yes, little demon, indeed I am."

"Then how can you call _me_ 'little demon'?! Huh?" Rin nearly shouted, still in shock. " _You_ 're just as much of a demon as I am! And you don't even look like a… like a… I mean you're not beautiful or-…"

She laughed, completely unfazed by the outburst. "First of all, we have different _affiliations_ , so we can't be thrown in together, little demon. Second, being an incubus is not a matter of looks (which we can choose as we please, by the way), but a matter of _skills_."

Rin decided not to dwell on the implications of that last word. "But… you're part of the Grigori Council! Do they know you're…?"

"Of course. I must say that it irritates Lord Melchior to no end, but they need me. I will not endeavor to explain as to why I chose to do this job as a healer in the first place, but just so you know, there are some humans I actually care about. One of them was your mother. And that's why I wish-…"

 _I wish you didn't judge her too harshly, Rin. She was a lovely, kind girl and wanted to be loved in return. Love is a basic human need, but you have seen firsthand what your grandfather was like… and what the rest of the Order are like. Fujimoto was only an exception which confirmed the rule, he was alone and so was your mother, all her life, confined between these cold walls. These people, with hard faces and cold hearts have pushed her into Satan's arms and however deceitful their relationship might have been, he made her happy, he made her feel loved._

 _And why are these words you cannot say out loud? Is this some sort of test again? To see if I'd be tempted to turn against the Order and the Grigori Council?_

The Healer smiled.

 _Oh, but I already know that you are not_ loyal _to the Grigori Council, you are simply resigned into obedience because you've realized that there's no other choice. Anyway, what I'm expecting from you is loyalty to the idea the True Cross Order stands for, at least in theory. Anything else is politics and supporting this person or the other can always prove a bad idea in the long run. The truth is that we all navigate an unseen, treacherous ocean of personal ambitions here, as Sir Mephisto Pheles will confirm to you if you ever catch him in one of his rare moments of sincerity. See, I'm telling you all these things because you must know where you stand and what's really going on._

"But where do I stand now? What's going to happen to me? Because last time the idea was that if I failed the exorcist authorization exam… And there's no way I can pass now."

The half-demon boy really dreaded the answer to that question, but it had to be asked eventually. When Mephisto had ordered him to come back and surrender, Rin had assumed that the King of Time had a plan to bypass that certain stipulation, but seeing how Mephisto had failed to as much as show up in the meantime, leaving him completely in the Healer's hands, he'd grown more and more worried. What if he was only needed for the trial of Igor Neuhaus and afterwards-… ?

"Well, I believe one who can read minds should be able to pass any exam… But the exorcist authorization exam is for humans, and so are the meisters and all that. Humans need to acquire a wide range of skills in order to become effective, fight-ready exorcists, but not you. You have just gotten stronger and stronger, didn't you?"

Rin pulled his knees to his chest and rested his forehead against them, feeling suddenly cold. She knew. _Of course_ she knew.

"Why?"

"Well there's an irony to it if you will, but if a demon receives and survives a Mortal Instrument wound it's similar to a human receiving a temptaint. They develop new abilities, most of the time related to some ability they already had before. And you, little demon, were already good at reading people in a way, weren't you?"

Indeed. And that was already difficult enough to deal with, more often than not.

"So… now what?"

"I'm afraid you'll still have to go to school, but you'll be taking a couple of different courses."

* * *

The younger twin had been discharged from the hospital relatively quickly, yet getting back on his feet had not done anything for his reluctance to deal with the matters at hand, namely Rin and Shiemi. He'd known that sooner or later he'd have to see both of them, but Yukio had dreaded the moment to no end and carefully avoided thinking about it, because whenever he did he'd feel helpless and alone, for once at a complete loss as to what action he should be taking.

For one, he'd never imagined that Shiemi's mother would resort to such means to increase the income of her little herbal shop and that she would think of exposing her only child in that irresponsible and exploitive manner. His childhood friend had been reduced to a lost soul, desperately clinging to him as a last resort – because Yukio did not believe any other feeling beside despair could have caused the blonde to throw herself at him like this – and he honestly had no idea how to help her right now. What was he supposed to say to Mrs. Moriyama?! And what authority did he have in this matter anyway? The worst was that somehow he strongly suspected that Sir Pheles would choose not to interfere, even if the safety of one of the Academy's students was involved.

As for his brother… As much as Rin's recklessness, immaturity, irresponsibility and overall handful-ness had always irritated the younger twin, he was now even more terrified to see all that suddenly gone, replaced by an empty sort of meekness which transcended Rin's every expression, every word and every move as of late. Even as he'd asked him not to kill Neuhaus… it was the typical attitude of someone who had just given up on everything and more – it was the expression of horror.

Yukio had realized that Rin didn't, _couldn't_ even hate him now, he was much too scared. _"And speaking of that, if he does wake, please, be gentle. He's terrified."_ But now the day had come when the trial of the former Upper First Class Exorcist Igor Neuhaus was due to begin and Yukio would meet his brother whether he was ready or not.

The hearings were going to be held in the hall the Grigori Council always used when in session and now there was a small crowd gathered in front of the tall double-doors. There were mostly upper rank exorcists and a few guards, and Yukio caught a few whispers of the Paladin attending the hearings as well before spotting his brother leaning against the wall on the opposite side, away from the crowd.

To his twin's surprise, Rin was not wearing his regular school uniform and had instead been given a simple uniform with the True Cross Order insignia but purposely showing no rank, the black fabric bringing out the almost surreal whiteness of his skin and the overall weary air of his hunched frame and crossed arms. And Yukio also found it odd that Rin was alone – with neither the Healer nor Mephisto in sight – even if the guards were probably keeping an eye on him.

"Well, people, it looks like it's gonna be a while until the first hearing begins, the Council is still in preparations," one of the guards from inside the hall announced. "I'm afraid it will be at least another hour. Thank you for your patience," he added, again closing the doors.

Yukio walked over to where his twin stood staring absently at the marble floor pattern and reached out awkwardly to lay a hand on his shoulder, half-expecting him to flinch and pull away. But Rin only looked up slowly, meeting his brother's gaze with an unreadable expression.

"Rin… are you alright?" the bespectacled teen asked, as soft as he could muster.

The half-demon boy shrugged briefly, stuffing his hands deeper in the pockets of his jacket. "Yeah, I'm…" he broke off, worrying his bottom lip. "I just… wish I didn't have to be here and see him again."

Yukio nodded. "Well, looks like there will be some time until they begin. Um… did you have lunch?" His brother looked like he still wasn't eating well, despite being under medical care and all. Was he refusing food?! And to think that before nothing used to excite Rin more than the thought of a meal! _Before_ … And now he looked like having lunch hadn't as much as crossed his mind. "We could go back to the Academy and get something at the cafeteria until they're done talking. Come on."

 _ **To be continued**_

 **A/N – oh wow… this came out like… short and uninteresting DAMN IT!**


	21. For now

**For now**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! Well, it seems that I somehow managed to mess up the chapters schedule for this fic (AGAIN!), but no worries, no major hiccups in what's left of the plot! Also, I want to thank you all AGAIN and AGAIN for all of your amazing feedback, I appreciate your support and it makes my day every single time hearing from you! That being said, enjoy the new chap ;)

* * *

The cafeteria was mostly empty at that hour, it was past lunch time and there were still ongoing classes, such that the two siblings did not attract too much attention upon their arrival. Yukio had worried it would happen, right after suggesting it, since Rin had been gone from the school for a long while and now he wasn't even wearing the uniform anymore. Speaking of which, what was with _this_ uniform he'd been given?! What did it mean? Was it purported to place Rin among the ranks of the Order, in a position yet to be determined? The younger twin could only hope so. And how would Rin feel to be back here again, even if only momentarily?

The young teacher was assaulted by all these tormenting thoughts as he desperately struggled with keeping things at a minimum level of awkwardness between him and his brother. His stomach churned with worry, food was the last thing on his mind, yet he picked a meaty dish for Rin (the Healer had advised that it was what the half-demon boy needed for his recovery)and only a salad for himself.

Once seated at a secluded table, he sighed, observing his twin poking indifferently at the food.

"Rin, it's going to be alright," he began. "They have a strong case against Igor Neuhaus, he's wounded the Paladin and killed two of the guards, on top of… of… everything else, so there's no absolutely way he could be acquitted."

"Are they going to interrogate me again?"

They'd done it before, just after Rin had woken up and after a half-assed and failed attempt to lift the curse on his mouth. The truth serum they'd used to make sure they'd get 'the truth and nothing but the truth' out of him had only succeeded in making Rin pass out from the excruciating pain.

"No! No, they wouldn't do such a thing again! Not when the Healer already read your mind," Yukio hurried to say, realizing that _that_ bit had slipped his mind completely. To his horror, he suddenly figured that aside from seeing Neuhaus again his brother still expected the worst from the Grigori Council. He so wanted to say 'I won't let them hurt you again', but fear made him swallow back his words. Fear that he would see nothing but mute distrust plastered on Rin's face, breaking through his empty, absent gaze.

The silence stretched between the two of them for a few moments, unbearable for the younger twin.

"Rin, I have to ask you… since I know that Ryuuji Suguro has been… close to you lately…" the bespectacled teen paused, clearing his throat. "Um… how much does he know? About what happened, I mean."

There was a sudden tension in the half-demon boy's shoulders as he kept his eyes trained on his plate and Yukio suspected he'd made a mistake. But the thought that someone else had become more privy to Rin's feelings-

"He knows everything," Rin replied calmly, popping a piece of meat in his mouth and finally eyeing his brother. The other expected at least a spark of provocation in his eyes, but there was none. It was as if Rin didn't care at all.

"… _everything_?" Yukio murmured, nearly dropping his sticks. "You… told him?"

"No, of course I didn't. But Igor Neuhaus sent him a note," the brunet replied and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "I suppose he wanted to make sure that my friends find out that I'm a slut." The sheer violence of those words hit the younger twin like a slap in the face, yet Rin had uttered them as if he were talking about the weather - completely neutral and just… horribly _accepting_. "I'm sorry, Yukio. I never meant to embarrass you like that," Rin added, just as neutrally, gracing his brother with that empty stare to which even the most venomous outburst would have been preferable.

"Rin… never… _ever_ say that again! My God, how can you even-?!"

"Because it's the truth," his brother said, leaning back in his chair. He looked even more worn out all the sudden, as if this was something he'd gone through countless times before. Like an old explanation. "I wanted to pass the test, so I _let_ him. He couldn't have possibly forced himself on me, _no one_ can force themselves on me. Isn't that obvious? Even after he wounded me, I still could have scorched him alive, but I didn't. I just didn't do anything," he pointed with a shrug.

Yukio felt like suffocating, this was by far the most disturbing conversation he'd ever had and he'd never, ever imagined the depth of damage he was now seeing in his older twin, he would never have believed that Rin could be _this_ broken, never!

"Rin, this is absurd!" he nearly shouted, fists clenching so hard that he could almost feel claws coming out and digging helplessly into the heels of his palms. "You can't possibly think that you… that _you_ 're in the wrong because you didn't kill him! Because you didn't let _me_ kill him! Do you really think that's what-…. what Shura or… or Suguro think of you?!"

And now that it had come up, Yukio wondered with added dread just how the Aria had reacted to this.

"No, but Suguro is human," Rin replied softly. "He does not comprehend what it's like to possess such a power of destruction. He has no need to hold back in a fight, nor does he understand that I haven't much of a choice. I can be either a murderous monster or I can be this. The Healer has admitted to it, too."

' _He too says he's loyal, but he's just terrified because he finally understood that as long as he is unwilling and unable to hurt humans, the Order has him in their hands, there's no escape from it and that these hands will squeeze and crush him at the slightest sign of disobedience.'_

Yukio decided that he would rather dodge such fundamental truths for the moment. It had been a very wrong time to open this subject with his brother, now that Rin was still so frightened and seeing everything grimly. Such that the younger twin simply checked his watch and muttered a 'let's go, they must be ready by now' in conclusion.

* * *

The Grigori Council was indeed done with whatever preparations they'd been busy with and upon their return Rin was ushered in by the guards, while his brother slipped in more discreetly to join the senior exorcists occupying the back of the room. From there he watched with some concern as his twin was directed to a wooden bench placed in front of the Council's balcony and how terribly uncomfortable he looked as he sat down.

The golden double doors were finally closed with an ominous thud and Rin allowed himself a quick glance around, nervously gripping the worn edge of his seat. Igor Neuhaus wasn't anywhere in the hall, instead the Paladin stood leaning against one of the ornate pillars, a scowl on his face as he eyed the brunet and hand resting on the hilt of his sword. It seemed he'd made a quick recovery.

"Now, then," Lord Melchior spoke, making the murmurs die down. "We can begin."

"Wait!" Arthur Angel peeled himself from his spot and walked over to stand right behind the bench. "Are you going to listen to what the son of Satan has to say just like that?! Without the truth serum?!"

The head of the Grigori waved his hand in dismissal. "We have now other means to determine whether he speaks the truth or not. If he doesn't, rest assured that we will deliver him into your capable hands."

Rin was suddenly reminded of the horrid moment in which the Paladin had dragged him in here for the first time, had pushed him down on his knees and severed his foot, supposedly to 'prevent violence' and the memory caused a brusque surge of nausea. His tail curled instinctively around his legs as he fought the urge to curl up and make himself as small as possible, to shy away from the too-bright lights and the numerous eyes watching him. Panic took hold of him, almost paralyzing – they were planning an interrogation after all! So, how was this Neuhaus's trial?! What if it had all been a lie?! The man wasn't even here!

Leaning back in her chair inside the balcony, the Healer tsked in slight irritation, and even more so when Sir Pheles poofed behind her seat and rested his elbows just above her head.

"Let him speak, it's his last opportunity as the Head of Council," the King of Time said smoothly.

"Is it decided then? You were hasty to pull the strings, it seems."

"Why, I only brought to the Council's attention that the Order has come a long way and in these new, _evolved_ times, a man who has openly allowed the abuse of children upon several occasions cannot stand at the lead anymore. I only made a sensible point, my dear Healer," Mephisto stated meekly.

She snorted lightly. "As sensible as it was for _you_ to replace him, I suppose?"

"Quite so."

"Rin Okumura," spoke Lord Melchior loudly. "Before we begin these proceedings, there is one very important thing that the Council would like to make clear. The test you have been subjected to was only purported to demonstrate your capacity for self-control, which is crucial in your particular circumstances. It was _never_ our desire – or intention – to hurt you in the manner in which it most unfortunately happened. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good, then."

"I'm sorry, is this the much advertised 'formal apology' that he was to deliver to my little brother?" Mephisto whispered.

"Well if you really believed that Lord Melchior would actually apologize for _anything_ , then you are more naïve than I thought and you have lived six hundred years for nothing," the Healer countered dryly.

Yukio too found the statement bafflingly disappointing – it was as if the Council had told Rin that, since the outcome of the test had not been _intended_ , they were waiving off any responsibility and he was not entitled to any hard feelings against them! Of course, he knew that Lord Melchior and the Paladin had been less than happy with his brother from the very beginning, but the show of contempt was still striking to him.

Meanwhile, some orders had been given and the doors opened again, this time letting in the guards who were bringing a cuffed Igor Neuhaus. His face still bore the marks of Yukio's wrath and there was a slight limp in his step, but otherwise he appeared to be in good strength. The guards removed his cuffs as he was seated at a desk and his lawyer came to sit by his side a moment later.

Rin knew, even without looking in his direction, that his former teacher was staring at him intently and the Paladin's proximity offered him no comfort.

Lord Melchior waited for everyone to be settled before he cleared his throat purposefully and spoke again. "Now, we won't start this over from the very beginning, since most things we have already been through. But as it is, Rin Okumura, we will need you to give us some more details in this matter of Mr. Neuhaus's… motivation. Now, we will not go through what has happened during your test, the Healer has got that covered quite effectively through your memories. We want you to tell us, before this court, what happened when Mr. Neuhaus broke into the Vatican's dungeons recently."

The half-demon boy closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Um… I was asleep and… when I woke up he was standing by my bed."

"And?"

"He said that he… uh… that he wouldn't hurt me anymore, because I was tamed now. He said that he'd only come to see if I was alright, but that later on he would take me with him."

"Take you, where?"

"Uh, I think… he said something about his apartment and that I should cook for him." Better leave out the rest.

At this point Neuhaus's lawyer stood up and raised his hand. "May I intervene?"

"No," said Lord Melchior. "We're not done asking questions. So, Rin Okumura, what else happened? Was there anything else Mr. Neuhaus said? Anything he did? Did he touch you again?"

Neuhaus _had_ touched him. Rin could remember the feel of the exorcist's calloused hands on his bare skin, but it was all a blur, just bits of a nightmare. But he was going to do more, and if Yukio hadn't come-… He only nodded briefly, unable to say anything specific.

"And what did you do, while all this was happening? You didn't try to defend yourself? After all, this wasn't part of any test," the lawyer cut in, without waiting for permission.

Rin turned brusquely, confronting the man who had spoken and being met with an unyielding expression. Beside him, Igor Neuhaus was motionless; staring at his own hands clasped together on the desk, but there was a light smirk hovering on the corners of his mouth.

"We would like the witness to answer the question," the lawyer pressed sternly.

Lord Melchior nodded in agreement.

"I did nothing," the half-demon boy admitted in a low voice. "I wasn't feeling well, I was dizzy-"

Some papers in hand, the lawyer rushed from behind his desk - apparently spurred on by the reply - and walked up to the witness' bench, ignoring the Paladin's muttered warning to step back.

"So… you did _nothing_ ," the man said, nodding suggestively. "You did nothing when Mr. Neuhaus showed up in your cell, just like you did nothing when my client met you down in that club in Middle Strip. But back then not only did you not do anything to 'protect yourself', your demon bodyguard – what is his name, Astaroth? – didn't do anything either, did not as much as bare his teeth! Was it not because you ordered him to hold back? And is this all not because you actually enjoy my client's attention?"

Rin blinked. " _W-What…_?"

"Mr. Okumura, was my client your first sexual experience?"

"Y-Yes!"

"I said 'get back', he's dangerous!" the Paladin barked, drawing out his sword and holding it as a barrier between the lawyer and the half-demon boy, who gasped and pressed back against the backrest of the bench, noticing that the sharp side of the blade was directed at him.

"But he wasn't your last, was he?!"

Rin gulped and looked over to where Neuhaus sat, in utter horror. Damn it to all Hell, he couldn't let Ryuuji dragged into this, he couldn't! But Neuhaus had seen them together and with a bit of bad luck-… Murmurs broke out across the hall and he shrank in dismay, not daring to throw as much as a brief glance to where Yukio stood – his twin was probably thinking the worst right now.

"Silence!" Lord Melchior asked, slamming his palm repeatedly on the polished railing of the balcony. "Mr. B, what are you doing there?!"

"I would like the witness to answer the question!" the lawyer insisted, all worked up and still trying to get into the boy's face as much as possible, even if the half-demon remained stubbornly quiet. "Or those who have investigated this matter! Healer, you have examined the witness' memories _in extenso_ , haven't you?!"

"Mr. B, I will not allow you to harass the members of this Council!" the Head of the Grigori nearly shouted. "What is your point, anyway?!"

The lawyer sighed. "Your excellence, we are well aware that most of the charges pressed against my client are undeniable, such as the murder of the guards. But it would also be without a sense of justice not to consider the motivation behind all this – and my point is that what has been described as 'abuse' is in fact a consented relationship into which Rin Okumura – who is far from being a _pure_ little soul as you might think - has lured my client by use of his demonic charms! So why are you defending him? Why are you defending _a demon_?!"

While Lord Melchior scowled under his hood and turned to consult with the members of his Council, Rin looked up and spotted Sir Pheles lounging into one of the upper lodges above the hall, enjoying a cup of tea. The shithead clown was probably having so much fun right now!

"The fact that Rin Okumura is here, _alive_ , is the result of this Council's decision regarding his usefulness for the Order," Lord Samyaza intervened. "As far as our knowledge goes, all full-fledged exorcists on duty receive thorough training and unlike common people they are immune to such things as 'demonic charms', the usual weapon of nymphs, naiads and the children of Lilith and also what you have implied earlier does not stand in any court of law – demon or not Rin Okumura is only sixteen years old and there cannot be any talk of a _consented_ relationship in his case, not when an adult is involved."

"Your excellence, you can't possibly refer to the son of Satan as if he were a _human_ child!" the lawyer countered.

"Just as you can't refer to torture with a Mortal Instrument blade as 'affection' or 'consented relationship'," the Grigori pointed firmly.

But Neuhaus's defender wasn't ready to give up just yet. "You must understand that my client tried to fight this accursed temptation he was subjected to!" he pressed on. "You must understand that the son of Satan made him lose his mind!"

"Mr. B, if that's alright with you, the Council will ask your client some questions now," the Head of the Grigori said and the Healer stood up, leaning on the railing next to Melchior as she eyed the lawyer for a brief second. "Well, Mr. Neuhaus, we have certainly heard several _interpretations_ of this story, which don't necessarily agree with one another, but… the truth is that deep down, in the dark recesses of your soul, you like children, don't you? Common sense and morals have held you back though, you even took a wife to escape this improper obsession, you made ghouls out of children's corpses back in that remote laboratory, but all with little result. And then you came here and, lo and behold, here was Rin Okumura, who looks like a cute, _living_ boy, but is in fact the son of Satan, a despicable demon everyone hates and who would have faced imminent execution if he were to defend himself against you. So he was _perfect_ for you, wasn't he, Mr. Neuhaus?"

The former exorcist brought his hands together on top of the desk, his face completely calm as he replied. "And again I ask you, why are you defending a demon? What difference does it make to you if I had my way with him?"

The Healer turned momentarily to consult with Lord Melchior and the others, after which she threw a brief, slightly annoyed glance to where Mephisto was perched.

"To be completely honest," she spoke eventually. "All other considerations aside, it matters to us because the Grigori Council intended to use Rin Okumura as an invaluable resource of the Order, but now thanks to you and your lunacy he's become a helpless boy with his mind half-gone and working to remedy this situation – to the extent it's actually possible – is a major inconvenience you had absolutely no right to subject us to," she said smoothly. "Also, you have gone as far as to make your deeds known to people you had no right to expose to this sort of foulness, and as such you became an utter liability to the Order in more than one way! Do you understand, Mr. Neuhaus?!"

The one-eyed brunet stood slowly from his seat, appearing not to have heard what he'd been told, and instead walked up to where his lawyer had stood earlier, right under the Paladin's nose. There he squatted down in front of Rin, smiling serenely as he observed the half-demon boy.

"Things are not as bad as you think," he said. "I may have tamed him the rough way, but... Look, that beastly grin is gone from his face…"

There was nowhere to run. Rin watched numbly as Neuhaus's hand advanced towards him, coming closer and closer, and he was suddenly dizzy again - that same dizziness as before - and there was no air. He inhaled, but there was no more air. The Paladin shouted something he could not hear and then, before than hand could grab him, the floor rushed brusquely towards his face and he slipped away into darkness.

 _ **To be continued**_

 **A/N** – Before I forget to troll you with this, please take note that (in case you REALLY want to read more BE b/s written by me) I have the other ongoing fic "Then, burn me", so go check it out before that too is over ;)


	22. Closure

**Closure 1**

A/N – Hello everyone! So, yeah, a rather fast update, because things eased up at work and I suddenly got inspired. Also, this was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic, but I messed things up again and there's no way I can cut this (so) short and get to the best part of the plan, so there – it got split into two parts (unless shit happens and it gets dragged on even longer, though I hope not!). But for now enough of my frustrated little rant, enjoy!

* * *

 _Someone was laughing and Rin knew exactly whom the laughter belonged to even without seeing_ him _, as he was lying limply, facedown atop the large pile of smoldering ashes, clawed fingers buried deep into the soft and sinister matter._

' _What have you done, Rin?' the creature's laughter seemed to ask him and right now it was very hard to imagine Satan ever being loving to anyone, even in pretense, the way the King of Gehenna towered mockingly over his fallen son. 'You finally snapped and unleashed your rage upon the unworthy world of humans… just like I always knew you would.'_

 _The half-demon boy stirred, though it was more a jerk of his numb hand, followed by a violent flinch as his fingers encountered charred bones, horrible in their bare smoothness._

' _That's right… everyone's dead, my dear son. Even Ryuuji Suguro.'_

Suddenly Rin was sitting up, awake, his eyes open wide and tears sliding down his cheeks as he stared in pure horror at the remnants of nightmare visible only in his mind.

"Lay back down," the Healer said, gently pushing him back onto the pillows. "It was only a dream."

The brunet closed his eyes, feeling the beginning of a migraine creeping into his skull. Why was he so horribly tired? The last thing he remembered before blacking out was Neuhaus's smirk as he'd tried to-…

"W-what happened? Did I… flame up?"

The Grigori woman was busy mixing with a teaspoon into a glass filled with dubious, whitish liquid, her face looking pensive and stern in the same time as she did so, and the murmured question made her sigh unexpectedly.

"No, you fainted," she said, handing him the drink. "Here, this tonic will make you feel better."

 _Why do you feel so guilty? Why do you feel like all the problems of this world are your fault?_

Their eyes met and the succubus's eyes softened. "I'm sorry you got grilled in there. I keep forgetting that you're far more delicate than I'm used to understanding... I didn't realize on the spot that they were getting to you so badly, and that everyone's been so damn dedicated on making you so easy to take on a guilt trip." She snorted in irritation. "I never cared about Melchior's crap, ever! And there was plenty of it in the last hundred years, trust me!"

Well maybe, but Rin was pretty sure no one had gone through the roof at the thought of her joining the Order, for sure. After all, incubi weren't all that dangerous and her healing skills were more than valuable. _And_ incubi were quite shameless to begin with, they must have been so unreachable by any kind of insult that even fatal verses against them probably failed more often than not (not that Rin was any expert when it came to fatal verses).

"Yeah but you don't burst into blue flames," he grumbled morosely. _Not to mention, you've got certain skills I do not…_

Before the Healer could reply to that, the door flew open and Yukio literally barged into the small hospital room, looking uncharacteristically disheveled. The half-demon boy flinched again under his brother's fiery, questioning gaze, which seemed to burn right through him as the younger twin rushed to the side of the bed.

"RIN! Are you alright?!"

"He's fine now," the Healer said calmly, while Rin could only breathe out, momentarily at a loss for words and silently begging for help.

 _You know what he's going to ask me, right?_

"What happened to Neuhaus?!" the bespectacled teen inquired next. He'd just rushed out of the hall when his unconscious brother had been carried outside by a guard and the last thing he had seen was the former exorcist lying on the ground after the Paladin had eventually whacked him over the head with the blunt side of his sword. "Was he convicted after all?"

"Well, this was never a question, since his guilt is beyond doubt - it was only a matter of determining the seriousness of his condition. And don't worry, he's been stripped of the ability to summon ghouls. Now he's to be taken to an appropriate facility and he will be contained there… Permanently."

Yukio blinked, slightly confused, as if he wasn't comprehending what he'd just heard. "… a facility?" he murmured absently, eyes still trained on his brother.

"He is mentally ill."

"So what was Mephisto's big plan?" Rin spoke unexpectedly, pushing himself up higher on the pillows. "Because every time-… because he kept saying…"

Only he couldn't finish the sentence and cursed himself inwardly for opening his mouth without thinking. It wasn't as if he could openly admit that it had been Mephisto (and not him!) who had stayed Astaroth's hand and had spared Neuhaus's life that night. He couldn't let his brother know that he'd been sobbing in the King of Rot's arms, saying that he wanted the man to burn alive. It just sounded too much like he'd been a hypocrite to halt Yukio's wrath and it was the ultimate admittance that he'd in fact given in to his demonic nature, even if only for a fleeting moment of despair, even if it was about his tormenter.

The Healer's golden eyes trailed from him to the young teacher and a small smile curled the corners of her wrinkled mouth. "Oh well, Lord Melchior has lost his seat as Head of Council in Sir Pheles's favor, the Paladin has proven once more that he's only there for decoration and a general need for reform has been emphasized… I think that sums it up. Don't worry, boys, it's just politics."

With that she disappeared and Rin was left to confront what he feared all alone. Silence stretched between the twins while Yukio seemed to mull over what they'd just been told (the half-demon boy didn't care much for Mephisto's ambitions and he also didn't entertain much hope of a positive change now that the King of Time was at the lead of the Order). Then, the younger cleared his throat and spoke, his voice low and grave.

"Shiemi called me to ask about you just now," he said as if every word was a burden. "It turned out that she knew all along… where you were and stuff. And you knew about her. About her selling drugs down in Middle Strip, going there every night dressed like a-… you _knew_ …"

Rin flinched. "Yukio, it's not-… Her mother has an arrangement with Mephisto for a share of the profits and she was never in harm's way, I swear! And it's not like she could stop or like she wants to do this! And it's just-"

"Just what?"

"Just Demon's Bane." Damn, speaking of, Rin needed a cigarette so bad right now! "She just sells Demon's Bane! She doesn't… do anything else. It's just… clothes. To fit in. It doesn't mean anything, God!"

Yukio's jaw was clenched and his eyes, even if they didn't look at his brother momentarily, were like two cold, green flames behind his glasses. "Rin… was it her?"

"…what?"

The younger twin pressed his lips tightly, struggling with the mixture of anger and embarrassment. "Neuhaus's lawyer said that you… you've been with other people too… and you didn't deny it. Don't lie to me, Rin. Just… " Yukio's voice was breaking at this point. "I want to know if it was her. If it was Shiemi."

"No! Of course it wasn't Shiemi!" Rin hissed, only to realize afterwards that she would have been the most logical choice as far as his brother knew. After all, the two of them were so close and Yukio wasn't aware that the matter of romance between them had long been cleared out.

Hence the look of disbelief on his face now. "…no?" He inhaled and exhaled slowly, the tension in his shoulders not easing up one bit. "Then who? Who was it?"

Obviously, it _so wasn't_ Yukio's damn business who he'd had a roll in the hay with and Rin wanted so much to shout it to his brother's face, but that would have only increased his suspicion and Shiemi didn't deserve the foulness of the kind of grudge he knew Yukio was capable of, especially not when she loved him. But he couldn't tell him the truth either and expose Bon to all hell.

"Was it Ryuuji Suguro then?"

"It was Astaroth."

Well, _it had_ been Astaroth, kind of and among other things…

The bespectacled teen stared, perplexed. "What… what do you mean?"

Rin looked up at his twin and fixed him with an unapologetic stare, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "I mean what I said. It was Astaroth, Yukio, I hooked up with Astaroth."

"B-But Astaroth is… and his body… is that… It's Reiji Shiratori's body, isn't it?! He's possessing Shiratori! You… you actually-…"

"Shiratori enjoyed it, not that I give a fuck about him or anything, but he looks okay, I was drunk and Astaroth is good at it! And I really needed to forget how I let Neuhaus fuck me because of the all-important test I needed to pass to make everyone happy! Okay?! Any other details you need?!"

 _Okay._

Yukio cringed, his insides hurt, his cheeks burned but he was relieved. He was infinitely relieved by the outburst of vulgar brutality, it was deserved to some extent and it was _something_ , even if it was bad, it was a sign of life, a sign that his brother was still there, at least a part of him, and he'd not been left with nothing but that awful, empty shell. Tears pricked his eyes as he shrugged helplessly, mustering a small, wry smile.

"Rin… I-I'm sorry… I really screwed this up, didn't I?" he asked, eyes glistening behind his glasses.

The brunet was still scowling angrily, his lips pressed tightly and his arms crossed. "Yeah, you did! And now you come here and grill me with shit! How could you think that I would take advantage of Shiemi like this, or that she would do this with me?! _She loves_ _you_ , you four-eyed piece of crap!"

Yukio's eyes widened in shock for a moment, before he literally collapsed on the bed, wrapping his arms around his brother tightly, all of his usual composure gone. Rin exhaled slowly, releasing all tension as he felt his younger twin clinging to him almost desperately, for the first time feeling his sibling's sheer _youth_ with striking clarity. Yukio was a sobbing orphan begging not to be abandoned, begging for forgiveness and his wordless plea was something only Rin could hear. Sighing, the half-demon boy reached up and treaded his fingers through his brother's hair the way Shiro used to do sometimes, ever so gently, retracing bitersweet memories.

Sadly, Rin didn't have their 'old man''s strenght just yet, he couldn't yet muster a smile through the pain, he needed more patching up than he himself was aware of and his brother would have to work for it. But… there was hope.

 _ **To be continued**_

A/N – Sorry people, but Rin calling Yukio 'four-eyed piece of crap' is canon in the anime :P so I thought I'd use this precious phrase in a heartfelt moment between the twins which was more than necessary. And I probably fucked it up, but what else is new ;) And yes, another short and uninteresting chap that was needed to fill in the proverbial blanks. There!


	23. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

A/N – Hello my dear readers! First of all, I will start by apologizing for the rather long hiatus as of late, it's been a busy period for me – work piling up on me again and needing to catch up on some other things as well – but here I am, back with the last chapter of this fic (because it's been dragging on for more than a year now *cough* just like my other BE fic *cough*). So, like I was saying, time to draw a conclusion ;) **Thank you guys SO, SO MUCH for being with me in this and for all your AMAZING feedback, it really means the world to me to see that people enjoy the stuff I write!** Enjoy!

* * *

Eyes closed and hands nearly balled into fists at his sides, Ryuuji sighed again, mentally following the motion of his own chest expanding and falling with the deep breath. The two authorization exam days were finally over as of today and he'd succeeded in passing both the Aria and the Dragoon meisters, even if the crammed up days of studying had left him completely exhausted.

But the extra-hard work had been good – the more he toiled, without breaks, almost without food and sleep, he would not think of other things… like what the future held. Now all that was gone, the summer break was on and there would be some time before work actually started, so here he was, lying helplessly in bed in his small room at the dorms, which felt suddenly suffocating in its still, quiet darkness. He needed sleep, badly so, but sleep refused to come, his body was tense, muscles refusing to relax against the softness of the mattress.

 _Go to sleep, just go to sleep, damn it!_

Eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, the Aria groaned as he shifted lightly, feeling the fabric of his t-shirt sticking damply to his skin. No breeze was coming through the open window, it was just so damn hot! But then, without warning, his annoyance turned into momentary horror as something grazed the side of his jaw all the way down to his chin – the sharp tip of a claw. And Ryuuji instinctively knew what it was, felt the danger of it seeping in through his newly trained senses, the presence of something foul, profoundly impure.

With a loud gasp he jerked and instinctively tried to reach out for the bottle-spray of holy water he was keeping on the nightstand just in case (the Cram School teachers had kept repeating how the Academy grounds, dorms included, were protected with foolproof anti-demon barriers, but this theory had been proven wrong repeatedly), but his wrists were instantly pinned down on the mattress, the claws gripping him pressing into his flesh on the edge of breaking through. A dark form hovered over him, unseen eyes trained on his squirming body, and a low, cracked chuckle came from it, freezing his blood.

"Ryuuji Suguro, I will seduce you and then devour your soul… But if it doesn't taste like sukiyaki I will be _very_ disappointed."

"Mmmphh!" Bon groaned in frustration while fighting back an outburst of rage, but only because Shima and Koneko were sleeping nearby, enjoying much-needed rest, and the walls were thin.

"See, if you sleep with your window open, all sorts of monsters creep in on you," the demon whispered again, snorting with mirth as he finally released the teen's wrists and the claw returned to stroke the side of his cheek. "Bon, your face right now… it's _fucking priceless_!" Rin said at last and collapsed backwards on the bed, both hands clamped over his mouth to stifle laughter.

" _OKUMURA! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"_ the Aria hissed, sitting up abruptly and lunging forward, his hand shooting up with unexpected precision in the dark and gripping his former classmate's tail. He proceeded to give it a forceful tug, without mercy.

"HAAAH don't-"

"What the hell are you doing here?! And how did you get out of the Vatican, do you want to get in trouble again?!"

The half-demon sat up and unsuccessfully tried to free his tail from Ryuuji's grasp. "Calm down, Bon, I didn't break out or anything!" he huffed. "I got some time off, that's all, now that the trial is over. Would you just let go now?"

"No! You scared the shit out of me!" the older teen hissed, pulling at the sensitive appendage again, but lighter this time. "What if I had sprayed you with holy water, huh?!"

"Well I didn't think it would _really_ work," Rin said with a sheepish smile. "I'm sure with Yukio it wouldn't…"

Ryuuji rolled his eyes and snorted, on the verge of pointing out that the younger Okumura was also a demon, so _of course_ he couldn't have been fooled so easily by his brother's half-assed stunt, but decided it was better if that one was left un-emphasized right now. The twins not being fully human was something everyone made such a fuss about anyway and besides, it would have felt like losing from the start and Ryuuji was still a very competitive person. He'd figured that was a major part of why he found Rin so tantalizing and attractive – aside from the few qualities he found admirable and the numerous flaws he (irrationally) found endearing – he was still a rival on some deep, secret level.

"Wait… did you move back at the old dorms with Yukio?" he asked. "I thought you said you wouldn't if it was still possible to… I mean…"

The brunet shrugged. "Turns out it is. Mephisto decided that I get to keep the apartment in Middle Strip and the part-time job at the club – because he's done covering my expenses and stuff – even if I'll be back to taking classes with the Order from now on." The Aria pulled the curtains aside to let some of the street lamplight in and saw his boyfriend's small, wry smile at the mention of his twin. "Anyway, things with Yukio are still a work-in-progress…"

And here Rin would say no more - the subject of his brother was still a tad sore and open for further discussion on several levels. Fortunately for the moment the younger twin had his hands full with other things – like trying to convince Mrs. Moriyama to take Shiemi off the blasted 'nightshift'- and so he'd accepted that they both needed time and space to mend their broken relationship, as it was.

"Speaking of Okumura-sensei, um… did you… tell him anything?" Ryuuji inquired tentatively.

"Like what?"

"Like about you and me, idiot!"

The half-demon boy poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, looking uncomfortable. "Actually… uh… some stuff happened, so I had to tell him _something_ , but it wasn't-…"

The Aria leaned back against the pillows and the headboard, resisting the urge to fidget as he observed the smaller teen, and inwardly steeling himself for some colossal shit which he sensed was about to be delivered.

"The thing is… uh… you know that Neuhaus saw us together, that night at the club, when we-… And then at the trial, his lawyer kinda suggested that I had hooked up with someone else afterwards as well – as to point out that I'm not that innocent and stuff – and then after Yukio just had to grill me about it." Rin paused and licked his lips briefly, averting his gaze. "Because I panicked back at the trial and I couldn't say it wasn't true… and he wanted to know who it was."

Ryuuji was motionless and pretty much freaking out now. Damn it, he'd never thought Neuhaus would go as far as to-… and if only he hadn't gotten drunk and kissed Okumura in public! Whatever shit his boyfriend had been through because of it had been technically Ryuuji's fault!

"… so what did you tell him?" he asked, voice cracking slightly.

"I told him it was Astaroth."

The Aria choked, eyes bulging. "… _what?!_ Why?!" 'It's not true, is it?' he wanted to ask, but suddenly feared the answer. What if before him-…?

"Because Astaroth is kind of flirty and besides, I knew Yukio wouldn't go as far as to confront him. As opposed to totally ripping _your_ head off!" Rin snorted slightly, on the verge of amusement. "Should've seen his face though. Because he really pissed me off and I was just about to serve him some details…"

The older teen buried his face in his hands for a moment, it was all too much to process in one go. And as usual, the half-demon was ever faithful to his habit of making a small deal of the things he'd gone through just because he always thought he should carry all of the burden alone, even if it crushed him!

"Okay, you need to tell me about all these things," he grumbled eventually. "You need to tell me what happened at the trial, what happened to Neuhaus, what-"

Rin sighed. "Yeah… I'll tell you everything. But after."

"After what?"

" _After_ , Suguro…" the brunet repeated dryly, poking the other boy's forehead with the tip of his index finger.

Blood rushed to Ryuuji's cheeks at full speed upon realizing the implications of what Rin was saying and he gulped, barely daring to breathe as he sat up again and tentatively laid his hands on his former classmate's shoulders.

"But… you're… okay now? Because last time I saw you, in the hospital-…"

"I'm fine now, really," Rin reassured him softly. "The Mortal Instrument wound is healed, I no longer have any pains. I mean it, see for yourself."

Ryuuji pulled closer, with an almost-shyness he couldn't exactly explain, face scrunching up in concentration as one of his hands left the younger's shoulder and descended down his back, lifting his t-shirt. His fingertips moved almost apprehensively over the smooth, now perfect skin down there, plagued by the memory of that awful moment when he'd touched the cross-shaped scar and that sheer terror which had taken over him.

"It's gone…" he murmured in awe, nose brushing against the half-demon boy's cheek. "And… your tail ring is gone too!"

"Yeah, it's no longer needed or something."

"Mmmm… just when I had learned the incantation for it," the Aria grumbled.

"Oh, hahaha," the brunet whispered against his lips, proceeding to press them with his own ever-so-lightly. Then, without warning, he tried his fangs a bit on his boyfriend's bottom lip. Ryuuji's breath was already labored and hot against his mouth and he didn't even realize when his cotton t-shirt was pulled up and over his head in one quick motion. Strong fingers hurriedly explored his bare shoulders and back, pulling him closer as the Aria gripped the side of his face with one hand and used his thumb to pry his lips open.

Rin's body felt so alluring in its fragility and Ryuuji would never stop marveling at how submissive the half-demon was under his touch, in striking contrast to his otherwise short-fused and fiery-tempered character, it was a feeling he relished secretly and sinfully almost, sparking his desire like nothing else.

Rin almost smiled in relief against his boyfriend's mouth when the other kissed him almost brutally, albeit still sloppily and a bit unsure, large warm hands sliding down his sides all the way to his hipbones and rubbing them teasingly. Then, suddenly, Bon's fingers were hooked into the waistband of his sweat pants, pulling them down together with his boxers in the back, and Rin gasped loudly as he felt the Aria's strong, calloused fingers kneading his bare bottom just right.

"Are you sure you want to-" Ryuuji asked, pausing brusquely.

"F-Fuck yes… aha…"

He wasted no more time and pushed the smaller teen down on the bed, pulling his pants off all the way. Bon glanced down in renewed awe at Rin's now fully bare body stretched on the mattress and ran his palms from the other's neck, down his torso and abdomen, feeling every curve and muscle under the soft pale skin, all the way down to his belly where the drops of silver nested in the miniscule crevice glinted wickedly in the semi-obscurity. The sight alone sent a pleasant shudder down the Aria's spine as his hands advanced lower, thumbs brushing over the contraption and making Rin arch his back a bit, then all the way down to the half-demon's thighs, spreading them apart.

"You look good like this, Okumura…"

* * *

 ** _Three years later_**

Upper First Class Exorcist Ryuuji Suguro walked down the marble-floored hall with hurried steps, the twin guns hanging from his belt weighing down on his thighs under the long, black uniform coat. During the three years on the job many things had changed from his school days – now his mornings began even earlier and the toil of the day dragged on longer, the frequent and often extremely dangerous missions had replaced the hours of study and the regular company of his friends, who were all being assigned now in accordance to the achieved qualifications. But Bon himself was all grown up now (or so he thought, because Shura would keep pointing otherwise whenever the opportunity arose), he was taller, sturdier and more in control of everything, including his own sporadic temper tantrums.

Which happened to be particularly important, since certain things had definitely _not_ changed at all.

The absence of guards at the entrance of the Grigori audience hall tipped the Aria off that the council wasn't in session and the hall was probably deserted at this hour, so he pushed the large double doors open and made his way in, quickly scanning the place. And indeed, in one of the plushy cushioned seats disposed circularly around the floor of the vast room there was the new Paladin, curled up awkwardly but no less effectively into his uniform coat (which was a simple black one, since just like Shiro Fujimoto before him, Rin could not be made to wear white if his life depended on it), his tail hanging limply over the edge of the seat.

And of course, he was asleep (big surprise!).

Ryuuji would have liked to wake Rin up with a kiss after he scooped him in his arms bridal style or something, but as far as the Order was concerned their relationship had to remain a secret, they could not be seen sharing any displays of affection under no circumstance so he waited for a bit, arms crossed, shifting his weight from one leg to another, scowling and eventually beginning to tap his foot. "BEELZEBUB'S BEARD, WOULD YOU WAKE UP ALREADY?!" he shouted brusquely, hoping to see his boyfriend jump up in fright as it had used to happen back in their Cram School days (because that was just as good as the kissing stuff, if not better, heh).

"Suguro… it's not 'beard', yeah?" Rin said calmly, stirring at last. "And you didn't think you could actually creep up on me, did you?"

The Aria sighed and shook his head, watching the half-demon as he pushed the coat aside and uncurled himself to a sitting position, then running a weary hand through the glossy, rebel spikes of black hair. Even now at nineteen, a bit taller and more muscular than before, Rin was still dainty in appearance, delicate in an essentially deceitful way and still alluring in that fashion which was so deliciously, well… demonic. His nose piercing had been put back almost as soon as he'd returned to the Vatican classes (even if he'd given up all the others, aside from the belly-button one which only Ryuuji got regular views on these days) and his choice of simple black clothing instead of the pristine white and gold Arthur A. Angel had worn as the absolute symbols of the Paladin's power and virtue clearly spelled a certain disregard for the rules which was still very much present, even if otherwise Rin had matured very quickly, considerably and to some extent even sadly so after the test incident and the following years.

"You know what day is today, right?" Ryuuji asked, squatting down in front of the smaller youth to take a better look at his face. Rin did look a bit tired. "You didn't forget, did you?" he added, with a hint of suspicion.

"No, I didn't. Today Yukio will attempt-…" Rin paused to check his watch." No, actually the day he's _passed_ his fifth meister exam, Tamer to be more precise."

"How do you know he passed already? The results will not be officially-"

"Because he always does," the half-demon stated. "And Shiemi texted me earlier, asking if we could drop by later on, so I suppose she must have thought the same. I guess my brother is just very predictable like that, not just because they've been together for almost two years now," he added with a smile. "Still, don't expect him to show any excitement about it, he never does that. He'll just be perfectly calm and composed and… like whatever."

Ryuuji smiled too, then sighed softly as his boyfriend finally stood up and stretched, stifling a yawn. He'd been away on a mission for two weeks and Rin had quite the hectic schedule pretty much on a regular basis, so it was no wonder he'd sneaked up in here to get a nap.

"Rin… you know, this whole thing with you being appointed Paladin at only nineteen years old and with only a Knight meister instead of all five of them is… well, somehow I don't think it sits very well with your brother."

"I'm sure he understands that this is just politics and some scheme Mephisto has devised to ensure his seat," the brunet replied, mouth pressing into an awkward grimace nevertheless. "Besides, I technically _could_ have taken all the meisters just by reading the examiners' minds or otherwise making use of my… unnatural powers, but it just wouldn't be fair to the other exorcists, because I'm not human and _all that_."

The Aria flinched at the mention of that seemingly age-old debate which refused to die out to this day, of how the older Okumura twin was a demon but the other wasn't, just because for Yukio the demonic heritage wasn't in any way _obvious_ and so on. That and he knew that the appointment hadn't been 'just politics'. The Grigori Council had actually agreed that only those lacking personal ambitions, for whom the Paladin job was not a distinction and title but a great responsibility and downright burden were fit for it and Rin, despite his youth and inexperience, essentially had the right 'soft skills' for the job.

"It still irks him though," Ryuuji said.

"Well if it still irks him, then perhaps on this grand day, when he's passed all his meisters, I could show him my new tattoo," the half-demon replied with a sudden lopsided smirk.

The other's eye twitched almost imperceptibly as his broad shoulders stiffened and he stared in shock for a few seconds. "Okumura… while I was away… you've got _a tattoo_?!" he whispered, nearly out of breath.

"I'm a demon, Bon, I just couldn't help it, considering," Rin said with a light chuckle and turned around, lifting his shirt.

And just above the root of his tail, the small of his back where that awful scar had been was now adorned with a row of black gothic letters, striking against the milky white of the skin and showing enticingly just over the belt of his slacks, saying

 _ **GotBlueFlamesNeedNoMeisters**_

Ryuuji momentarily forgot to breathe, staring at it transfixed. It looked so… damn good. And absolutely shameless. And he would see that every time-…

"You like it," Rin concluded with a wide smirk this time, poking one of his upper fangs with the tip of his tongue.

 **THE END**

 **And yes, I made Rin replace Arthur A. Angel and become the new Paladin at only nineteen because… nothing is impossible in fanfiction and also because technically Rin is far more powerful than any exorcist (as in he could torch any of them in the blink of an eye). That being said, I'm sure there are many pros and cons to that aspect, but right now… this is my grand vision of things and I'm sticking with it. No regrets :P**


End file.
